Chapter 3: Diary
New Haven
06/18/2008
I was given this journal today for my birthday, mom said I should record my thoughts or whatever so this is my attempt at that... Nothing to say.
06/22/2008
So i met a girl today!! :) Her name is Jessica Marie Tayler, haha yeah three first names it's funny but she is really cool. we met at the park, I was actually walking home from a friends house when I stopped there to sit on the swings for a bit. A few minutes later Jessica sat next to me, my first thought was to turn and leave but she spoke to me so fast there was no chance of getting up. "So you're sitting alone on summer vacation too?" she asked me. I laughed for a second realizing that was exactly what I was doing. I don't have time to finish writing what happened but I hope I run into her again.
6/23/2008
I saw her again at the park but didn't have a chance to talk to her she was leaving as I got there. I'll try again tomorrow.
6/24/2008
I ran into her again, we talked awkwardly for a bit but in the end she gave me her number so I'm gonna text her and hope for the best, I do my best talking over text anyway because like phone calls it helps find common ground which i'm pretty bad at.
7/01/2008
Wow I almost forgot about this thing, Jessica and I have been texting everyday and I'm starting to really like her. I'm gonna try to ask her out tomorrow. Wish me luck. ^_^
7/02/2008
Okay I'm gonna get right to the point, I was gonna invite her to the park and ask her out there but she was unable to come... she had family stuff to do so I did something stupid. I asked her out over a text, BUT OMG she said yes!! I have never been happier.
8/14/2008
Today was the last day of summer and I've been so busy with Jessica I haven't even thought about writing in this but I'm just gonna say this now, everything is going amazing. she is beautiful and funny, she is a bit nerdy like me and I like her more everyday.
8/15/2008
Just found out today, we go to the same school and have home room together. This year will be great.
9/20/2008
Today was homecoming and Jessica and I were all excited to go but she got pretty sick so I went over and watched Netflix with her instead. Also even though she was sick... we had our first kiss. I know it seems kind of late but she is truly amazing and I don't want to rush into anything that might end our time together.
9/26/2008
She is finally feeling better, I'm so happy to see her in home room again. Saying good morning to her everyday gives me a reason to wake up each day. My depression doesn't even hurt me much anymore.
5/03/2009
I just found this under my bed, I must have lost it when I was rearranging my room so long ago... anyway the school year is almost over and Jessica and I will have been together for a year next month.
6/22/2009
It's our year anniversary and she is sick again...
7/03/2009
she was brought to the hospital today, I can't even go see her... I love her...
7/07/2009
Jessica went into a coma... My depression is back...
3/14/2010
I want her back... My life is nothing without her... I don't know how much longer I can carry on waiting for her like this...
3/22/2010
I'm at my limit... I can't live another day without her...
3/23/2010
Hey, It's Josh, sorry I am writing in your notebook like this man, Look she could wake up any day now so don't give up hope your friends are here for you! :)
3/24/2010
Fuck you Josh!! stay out of my things!! I can't believe he read my thoughts >:(
6/22/2010
SHE WOKE UP!!!
I haven't been aloud in the room yet because the doctors have to check her out but i'm gonna go see her tomorrow.
6/23/2010
I went to see her and I was in tears the whole time... she was so shocked I waited for her so long. lol but i'm really happy, in a few days she will be able to leave the hospital. ^_^
6/30/2010
...she broke up with me... she was let out today and I took her home, she was really upset about the years she lost and she told me she needed some time alone.... I will try to talk to her tomorrow morning...
7/01/2010
She... she's gone... she died last night... :'( I hate this stupid notebook...
10/25/2014
This will be my final entry in this notebook, I just wanted to say... I'm doing okay but... I still do and always will love her...
10/27/2014
Hey buddy, it's Josh again... I know your probably in heaven with her now... but why did you leave your friends and family?... This isn't what she would have wanted for you... I know back when you met you had really bad depression and going to the park with her all those times helped you, but face the facts, she was getting sick off and on your whole relationship... then when she had the coma she lost so much time and fell way behind you in life... thats why she left you. You spent all these years chasing the ghost of her death instead of trying to move on. She didn't want to hold you back, she loved you so much she died for you! why didn't you see she wanted you to move forward with your life...death is never the answer though... Thats a lesson i wish you both learned much sooner... I miss you both so much, you two were perfect together but even more than that you were my best friends. good bye...
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