Chapter 50: Let's Bet On Him For Once
A relationship with insecurities can never last long. When insecurities enshroud the credence in a romance, what leaves behind is a crumbled relationship.
"Insecurity is a side effect of loving too much but receiving too little."
Xu Mey's insecurities came from her own family. An abandoned daughter that had nothing else other than insecurities in her. The girl who was abandoned by her own mother right after her birth, what could she expect from the rest of the world?
But...
That foolish girl still attached all her hopes with her father. The same father who let her down time and time again. The only thing Xu Mey knew about her mother's absence was that Fu Lan also got pregnant with Xu Liqing while her mother was in her last month of pregnancy. She knew her father cheated and it would have infuriated her mother but that thing will never be able to explain why she abandoned her own daughter.
And if she did, she should have come to look for her at least once in the past 28 years. But that woman didn't come, even when Xu Mey wished for her to come and take her away. She didn't come.
With her father evading her, Fu Lan's constant reminders of how her parents don't love her because she's not worth it and the way Xu Liqing made her feel useless; It all became a reason for her low self-esteem in herself. That low self-esteem made her feel jealous of Xu Liqing. And eventually, that jealousy made her lie to her own self.
Insecurities give birth to low self-esteem.
Low Self-esteem gives birth to jealousy.
Jealousy gives birth to lies.
And Lies puts you to your death bed.
Lies even pulled her to death but there was someone standing at the edge. The person who managed to pull her up from the sea of lies and jealousy. But insecurity was something she needed to get rid of herself.
Even though Ye Jie's words were sincere but her insecurities were not letting her believe in him.
'Let's bet on him for once.' She heard her heart's voice nagging her.
'You can't break a broken thing. So, why not just give him a chance?' Even her mind was in cahoots with her heart. And that was a rare scenario.
Xu Mey took a deep breath to ease up her stiffened body and looked at his brown eyes. Those orbs were akin to an enchanting vortex that kept pulling her in. She opened her mouth to say something but her mind froze without a warning. That gaze held a million questions in it but there was not a single word that came out of his mouth.
It was the first time in her life when Xu Mey wanted the other person to ask her. Because she desperately wanted to know whether she'll be able to speak about her own dark past or not.
Confusion is also a curse. You can't even know what you want. She was having a battle inside of her. She wanted him to know everything and at the same time, she didn't want him to learn anything about it. She wanted him to know 'cause she was tired of lies but she didn't want him to know because...
She couldn't comprehend why she didn't want him to know. If the question was asked a week before, she would've answered without a pause that it doesn't matter whether he knows or not. But it was not the same after just a week. If in only a week, he was making her mind turn into a confused-box, she didn't want to think about what it'll be like after spending more time with him.
She suddenly realized that she was getting more scared of his presence in her life than she was of her own past.
When nothing came out of her mouth, Ye Jie stared at her cherry-blossom lips with a faint smile and held her hands in his own making her jolt. "Stop running your mind. I'm right here." His beautiful soft voice was akin to the dew-drops that caress the flower petals in the early morning to refresh them.
In her daze, Xu Mey nodded at his words still lost in his eyes that held an indescribable feeling in it.
Ye Jun coughed loudly on purpose to let them know that he was still feeling sick and their lovey-dovey mood was making him feel worse.
Recalling that Ye Jun was still here, Xu Mey tried to free her hand from Ye Jie's grip but he ended up tightening his hold. Xu Mey didn't want to bother with him at the moment, so she turned to Ye Jun. "Why were you here last night?"
Ye Jun scratched the back of his head with a guilty face. "I was out drinking and ended up being wasted. I couldn't go home like that. Mom would have killed me. So, I decided to crash here." He told everything honestly.
Xu Mey frowned. "Why were you drinking?"
"It's all your best friend's fault." He replied accusingly.
"My best friend?" A crease appeared between her brows. "Which one?"
"Jun Li Na." He replied matter-of-factly.
Xu Mey nodded her head in understanding. "What did she do?"
"She didn't pick up my calls." He was resentful.
"You have her number?" She raised her brows feeling surprised.
"Yeah! She gave it to me during your wedding." Ye Jun smugly replied while passing his phone to her.
Xu Mey looked at the number displaying on the screen and didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. But she ended up laughing. Her laugh fell like thunderbolts on Ye Jie's heart. Just the laugh made his body react in the way even he didn't know it could.
"Why are you laughing, sis-in-law?" Ye Jun pouted.
"Sorry... Haha... It's just that... She made a fool of you... This is definitely not her number." Now it was Ye Jun's turn to be stunned at her reply.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
XiaoMeeHee
XiaoMeeHee Yesterday, while I was watching a video with my mom and sis. there was dialogue in it: "If a person smiles a lot, he's hurt. If a person sleeps a lot, he's sad." Both my mom and sis looked at me with accusation in their eyes at the second sentence.
While it's true that I love to sleep but whether I'm sad or just lazy is out of my own mind.
Even if I'm sad, I wouldn't know why. So I believe, I'm just lazy like a cat.
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Chapter 51: Your Mr. Rain
It took Xu Mey a long while to make Ye Jun understand the reason behind Jun Li Na not giving out her number. There were two reasons; first, she loved her fiance a lot more than Xu Mey could understand and second, Jun Li Na was an only daughter of a family that was deeply tied to the underworld.
"Take my advice and forget about Li Na." Xu Mey tried to convince him.
"Is her fiance so great that I can't possibly compete with him?" Ye Jun was feeling indignant.
"That I don't know."Xu Mey replied calmly.
"You're her best friend. How do you not know?" Ye Jun was suspicious. It felt odd that a best friend didn't know about her other best friend's fiance.
"I never met him."
"Why not? She's your best friend."
"I never met him because I was never interested." Xu Mey took a pause and seeing the confusion on Ye Jun's face, she continued. "Jun Li Na was my neighbor and that's how we became friends. But when I was 8, I was sent to boarding school. I got distant to her but I still was in contact with her. We lost contact when I was 12 and... *cough* Anyways, I didn't have a way to contact her for a while. Later I met Jun Li Na during the last year of college and by that time, she was already engaged to someone. I never asked because I don't like asking and she didn't tell. Maybe she thought I was not interested in knowing him which I definitely wasn't."
She took a deep breath after explaining everything in the shortest version possible. Ye Jun was focused on the story but Ye Jie only noticed that small pause with a cough. She avoided saying something and Ye Jie had a nagging feeling that it wasn't as simple as losing contact for some small reason.
What do you want to hide so badly, dear wife?
Ye Jun was downhearted. He obediently took the medicine and went to his room to get some rest. Xu Mey and Ye Jie both had the dinner together after freshening up. The maid that Ye Jun sent away in the morning came back and made a lavish meal. There were cheesy shrimp spring rolls, beef fried rice, hoisin roast asparagus, Egg drop soup along with almond crescent cookies.
As much as it was a feast for the eyes, it was much better in taste. Xu Mey ate with content and Ye Jie was alighted to see her happy face thoroughly enjoying the meal.
The discussion during the dinner was very casual. Like Ye Jie asked: "How was your day?"
Xu Mey replied: "It was okay. And yours?"
Ye Jie: "Mine was really good as usual. It got better with that mysterious note in my coat."
Xu Mey's chopsticks stopped mid-air. She gave him a side glance. "Mysterious note?" She was planning on pretending to know nothing.
Ye Jie: "Forget it. There was something like that." He realized how she wasn't an open person and decided to play the ignorant game.
After the harmonious dinner, Ye Jie went to his study to work on the project he had to leave mid-way because of Ye Jun. Xu Mey couldn't do much during the day at the office and decided to make up for it herself.
When she was about to open the wooden door of her own home-office, her gaze fell on a red envelope with a single daisy flower above it. She arched her body to pick them up from the floor. She looked around with confusion and shrugged her shoulder nonchalantly.
She brought both things in the office and placed them on the table while reclining on her leather chair. She held the envelope between her fingers as she played with it while her gaze was stuck on the daisy. After much contemplation, she opened the envelope and took out the note inside. She could smell the faint scent of cherry blossoms on the note.
"My Dear Wife, Xu Mey,
Although the way you answered was really an archaic way. But I loved it. It gave me the feeling that I was important enough for you to take the effort to write an answer. So, I chose that same archaic way to say my piece.
You're right. Time doesn't matter. Moments do. And I'll feel honored to be a part of your worthwhile moments.
I already figured that you're not good with words. And it doesn't matter to me. I know my limits.
What I don't know is you. And what I want to know is you and only you.
Do you know what a daisy flower represent in flower language? It means innocence, loyalty, and purity. It is exactly like your nature. You're innocent when it comes to love. You are loyal and anyone can tell from your relationship with your friends. And purity is something that is written all over your face. You seem so pure that even I'm scared that I might taint you with a single touch.
You must have read this poem of Christy Ann Martine:
'Shed your insecurities
and reveal yourself to me
so I can see each Imperfection,
cherish every flaw,
get to know you
from the inside out,
for my love is raw.'
Daisy is usually given between friends to keep a secret and to never unfold that secret.
I'm giving this daisy to my wife. It's a promise that all our imperfections, flaws will stay between us. I want to know you inside out no matter how much time it takes and I'll let you see everything that I am without hiding anything.
All you have to do is stand by my side and I assure you, I'll be standing right by your side as well. Let's start this relationship with being friends. Hope that will bring some comfort to you.
Your one and only husband, Ye Jie A.K.A Your Mr. Rain."
Xu Mey might not have known before what effect her note had on Ye Jie but after reading his words, she had no way to avoid the reality. Whether he was a smooth talker or not, only time can tell. For now, I can give you a chance.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS
XiaoMeeHee
XiaoMeeHee
Insecurities are only a curse until someone comes along to break that curse for you.
We don't have to let go of our insecurities, we only need someone to embrace us with those insecurities.
Insecurities rather being our weakness are actually a way for us to know that we actually care.
Since we can't fix ourselves by breaking others, we tend to break ourselves with our insecurities.
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