Chapter 26: Don't Put Memes On Instagram: The Speech
This was my speech for Accelerated English that I got a 94% on. TheShitpostAuthor can confirm this.
From the dawn of creation, our people have possessed a culture that has advanced and bloomed ceaselessly throughout the ages. There are many elements to this culture--literature, music...but there is one aspect of it, something that we, as the newest generation, can all agree is the most precious to us. And that aspect?
Memes. Dank memes, to be precise. Dank memes are the very substance of our simplistic state, showing the very state of our minds and paving a path to modern means of expression. Only the dankest of the dank memes can truly make things right in this part of our culture. However, there is something lurking in the depths of the internet, a sinkhole threatening to swallow up every last epic gamer meme in sight and secrete a new, lesser generation of memes. Some of you may already be aware of Instagram. But how, my fellow gamers, will Instagram thwart our spectacular plans to elevate our means of communication to the highest and least-cringeworthy level? Well Instagram does not harbor any dank memes. In fact, it takes away all of the memes from the original platform of their creation, Reddit, and turns them into something only the lowest of degenerates can process without recoiling at the distinct lack of intelligence the "meme" holds.
Someday, we surely all desire a world in which our culture is unanimous. We all want a world where the Instagram "meme pages" can go back to the garbage heap they originally hailed from and keep from returning to our world. After all the truths I've told you, could there be a better meme universe than one such as this? Surely not. If all memes were kept to Reddit and expelled from the deathly depths of the darkness of Instagram, this world would be a better place for all epic gamers, including those like you and me. No more cringeworthy content. No more "LMAO WHO DID THIS". No more unironic use of the laughing while crying emoji. No more Instagram "memes". Just peace.
So now, epic gamers, if you truly desire this world that I just described to all of you, my radiant, truly EPIC fellow gamers, we must take action. We will take over the internet. We will get our message across and spread the message of truth that we all harbor. All you need to do, my fellow gamers, is comment. Send our message. This is our fight now. And you must take the most righteous of actions to begin the most righteous of movements and get the bread. Gamers, rise up.
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