Tears started to form in my eyes. Geez. I'm such an emotional mess right now.
"I was crying because I miss my family... so much." I said as I sob then I ate the sandwich I'm holding.
"The sandwich is great, you should try it." I said then took another bite. I'll just stuff myself with food so I'll feel better.
"Are they dead?" He asked. I couldn't help but to smile. He's pretty straight forward with his words.
"Hmmm.. I have a story to tell. It's about a kid. She have a family, simple but a happy family. She have his father who is a respectable warrior and a genius beautiful mother. They were happy, but life isn't always like that. " I looked at my empty hands.
"It would be nice if we have some alcohol to drink right now." I blurted. Must have been my habit back then, I drink whenever I feel something I couldn't get off my chest.
I was about to continue talking when I saw a white hands in a dark blue clothing holding a light brown gourd. I smiled and took the gourd. I uncapped it and smelled a strong yet sweet aroma inside. I drink a mouthful and savor the flavor going down my throat. It was a bit strong but have a smooth and sweet taste. I like it.
"This is great, thanks!" I said and handed back the gourd which then he took back.
"Continuing my story, The kid's Dad had a serious injury. He was bedridden, so the Mom was the one to took care of the family. She did everything she can to protect them from their enemies, even the envious family members they have. The mother didn't let her kid suffer, she kept strong. But they were betrayed.. by the kid's own Uncle. The Uncle killed the Dad and massacred all the people in their household. The Mom hid her kid and told her never walk the path of revenge. That she must live her life and find happiness. So she did. After the massacre, she was rescued and was sent to a family relative. Given she wasn't really a blood relative she was treated as a servant. She waited for her Mom and stayed obedient. But she only heard news about the fact her mother was found dead in the woods. She couldn't mourn. She wasn't allowed to do so." I started crying again when a memory flashed in to my mind. When Reenste heard the news, her aunt didn't let her out to see her Mom's corpse. She was hit instead and was made to serve more.
"The Kid lost her mom, but she remembered that she was asked to find happiness and she did, temporarily. A cousin came to the hellish household and he was the only who treated her kindly and gently. So she fell for him." I said and smiled. My mind flashed a memory where that guy warmly smiled at this kid. It filled her happiness.
"But then again, it was temporarily. Her cousin found out and he told him they are impossible because he'll be married to the one he loves. The kid never wanted him to return her feelings, she just wanted to love her, but she was forbidden to do so. Thus sadness finally caught up to her and drowned her. She killed... herself." I felt pain in my heart. It aches because she did everything to find happiness, but in the end. She died.
"But you're alive." I was a bit startled when I heard his voice again. That suprised me
"I am, but that kid... Reenste Ermyntrude drowned herself and died." A cold wind passedby and blown my hair away. I fixed it and took another sandwich
"I'll tell you another story." I said to him and bite another sandwich and silently chewed.
"There was a girl. She works hard every day. Trying to go along how the world goes. Tiring herself every day to forget. To forget who she really is. So her parents wouldn't worry. So her brother wouldn't be disappointed to her. She kept working until it was all that she has. She doesn't have a life anymore, it was only a cycle. Just waiting for her own death. Then it did come, unexpectedly. One day when she came home from her 36 hour sleepless job and she went to sleep and never woke up in that place. Because she found herself drenched in water and in a different body." I took a deep breath.
"Now about your question earlier. My family, they aren't dead, but it was me who is dead. Thus I cannot go to them." Well, he'll totally thinks I am a crazy person.
"Are you saying.. you are not Reenste Ermyntrude, but someone else?" He asked. I can tell the shock and a bit of curiosity in his voice.
"You're smart. I applaud you." I chuckled. I felt a slight cold aura coming from him.
"Are you making fun of me?" He said, I can feel the coldness from his voice.
"Geez. I was just lighting up the mood since you won't do it." I said to him and I felt the cold air around him lessen.
"Well going back to your question. Yes, I'm not really Reenste Ermyntrude. It's up to you to believe it but the real Reenste Ermyntrude died then my soul occupied her body when I also died back in my world." I said and looked at the sky.
"I told you Reenste's story because I don't want her to be forgotten. I don't want that child to be forgotten. "
"You're referring to her as a child. How old are you, really?" He asked which made me smiled.
"Is Mister interested in me now?" I joked then laughed when I suddenly felt a cold air coming from him. Can't this guy take a joke?
"I was just joking, also you shouldn't go asking ladies how old are they? They'll be mad at you." I laugher again.
"Can I have another drink?" I asked and saw his white hand again. I looked at it and saw how firm looking it is and his long and slender fingers with perfectly trimmed nails. This guy must be some rich person.
I grabbed the gourd and have another drink again. This time I didn't gave the gourd back quickly.
"Your hand looks good. You must he a handsome looking person. Do you have a wife yet?" I jokingly asked then drank from the gourd. I felt the flow of alcohol in my mouth. I felt the warmness in my cheeks. Wow this really hits good.
"No." I was again suprised when he answered back. Because I pretty much got the impression that he's a man of few words.
"Really? Judging by your hands, you must be a rich person with a pretty looking face." I said and took another drink.
"If you like I can marry you. Will you marry me?" I asked. He doesn't seem so bad, right? He knows my secret plus he gave me this nice alcohol. I tried to wait for his response, maybe he was shocked. So I laughed.
"Just kidding. I'm on my way to the concubine selection for the Emperor. So it's to bad that I can't marry you, Mister." I said and drink again. Man, this drink is really good!
"Are you not afraid of the Emperor?" He asked. Wow! He spoke again. Maybe this person is a bit chatty person too.
"To be honest, I am. But on the other hand I'm not. Rather I found him a pitiful and lonely person." I honestly said.
"Why?"
"Because when he was young, he was smarter than adults thus kids his age would feel intimidated around him. He was also strong thus adults are wary around him. His own father feared him. He didn't have his mother. When he discovered his father's misdeeds, I'm pretty sure it took a lot for him to kill his own father. Because he's the only family he has left, but he needed to make a choice. Not for himself but for all the people in this Empire. He is a wise and good emperor, but I pity him and I feel sad for his loneliness." I drank a mouthful again, because I can feel sadness welling up my heart.
"But if there were some miracle that I am to be selected as one of his concubines? He may not love me as her woman, but I can give her family. I'll see to it that I'll treat him as a family." I drank again. I can feel dizziness going on slowly.
"Are you sure? That's all that there is to it?" I didn't get his question this time. Maybe because I'm a bit drunk, but one thing is for sure.
" If I were to be really his concubine means he is the only family I have in this world. With that, it's enough for me to stay and not fear him." I smiled. That indeed would be the case.
"Anyways, here. I think I have enough. I'm quite dizzy now." I said and stood up and give him the gourd. But it seems that I underestimated the effect of this drink so I stumbled after I walked a few steps.