Chapter 75: The Mind of Chae Jaemin

"This is a bit overboard don't you think?"

The wall facing the outside was fully made out of glass, showing everything happening within the room. Anyone passing by could see what was happening.

Yoona shrugged, not caring about his thoughts. Her safety was priority.

Never had she thought that her knowledge in study rooms would come in handy. Of course, there was a chance Jaemin wasn't a murderer but she wasn't going to lower her guard because of it.

While Jaemin sat down, Yoona continued to stay standing up. She only booked the room for thirty minutes so they weren't going to talk long to begin with. Plus, it wasn't like she wanted to talk to him. She was just doing it to see if she could get information out of him.

"Are you not sitting down?"

She looked over at the clock before focusing her attention back on him. While leaning her back against the wall, she crossed her arms. "It's fine, I can stay standing up."

Before when he was talking to Yoona, he was so shocked by the new side of her that he didn't allow himself to think properly. The emotions in him did not subside during their conversation. The fact that Yoona had changed so drastically in a week was so shocking.

Luckily, during the time they walked to the building, he brought himself to peace. Slowly, but surely.

Now was not the time to go into mental turmoil. He needed to think.

Jaemin's eyebrows furrowed, his soft lips slightly pouting. "I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding. I'm not going to hurt you physically or mentally right now."

At first, he thought it was a fluke since he was still clutching onto the old Yoona that existed. However, after going into the room, analyzing her gaze, and noting the actions taken, he noticed that something was different. And not just because of Minhyun.

There was something else driving the wedge between them; another variable like every fucking single time he tried to succeed with a plan.

Jaemin's eyes narrowed. He had a general idea of what it could be. All he needed was confirmation. This was why his last statement was thrown. It was bait. Emotional bait.

Yoona didn't hesitate to reply. "So you're going to hurt me later?"

Her eyes flashed with suspicion and for a swift moment, a slight bit of emotion came to light. It was subtle, clearly she was trying to hide it from him, but he noticed. The years they spent together wasn't for nothing. He had some cards up his sleeve as well.

Just like Jaemin expected, the other emotion mixed within her heart was fear.

He knew it. There was no way that Minhyun could be the only variable that made Yoona's reaction to him this way. After years of being with Yoona, he knew her personality to a great extent. She was the type to forgive. She saw the humanity in people. The reason to why he went along with bringing the betrayal to public was because he knew for a fact that she would still try to see the light in him. From the beginning to the end, Yoona had always had faith in them. She would think that they would've had to have a reason, no matter how minuscule it is. That was her greatest weakness and his best weapon.

Right now, she clearly did not see any in him. There had to be something to have triggered this.

He fought the urge to bite his nails, keeping the smile on his face. What? What could that possibly be?

There was also another variable he had to figure out. Was the person who help distill this change Minhyun? Or another person? At the moment, due to Minhyun's shocking appearance, there was a possibility that there was someone else in the picture. He knew about Lucas and Eunha, but those two did not have the power to create this mess.

Fucking hell. Who could he be having this fight with.

He closed his eyes; anger riling up in his chest. Fuck. FUck. FUCK. He should control the emotions in his chest again but they would not settle down. They flared with every second that went by.

Just like his psychologist said. Breathe in. Breath out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

After controlling his emotions to an extent, he opened his eyes again. Sorrow bled from his eyes. "I'm not. I'd never hurt you."

Yoona didn't believe him. "Now, it doesn't matter if we trust each other or not. I don't want us to talk after today so hurry up with your explanation. I have someone waiting for me."

This hurt. His heart wretched with excruciating pain. Not because she hated him, he didn't care about that. As long as she was in his grasps, he didn't care about having the hate centered towards him. What made him angry was the confidence that she had. How she became a different Yoona. He was losing touch with her bit by bit.

What happened was not supposed to propel her to become stronger. It was supposed to make her weak. She was going to break down.

She was supposed to be everything he dream of her being.

He let out a sigh. Now was not the time to reminiscence of what she could've been. He had to focus on fixing the situation and bringing the old girl back.

"Where do I begin?" He muttered. He had to word everything he said properly. With the unknown fear added to the mix, his best option was to turn that fear into pity. Give her a reason to why she shouldn't feel these emotions towards him.

"My life is painted with glamour and luxury, but I've never exposed the hidden dark sides to you. I didn't want you to see me as imperfect. Now, i'm not trying to gain pity, I just wanted to tell you what you should be expecting."

He let out another sigh. "The reason to why Jaeun offers these girls for me to play a game with me and the reason to why I say yes is due to our past circumstances. Everything isn't black and white, even your betrayal. We don't just play for fun, though I am not going to lie, I enjoyed playing at times, until I met you of course. There is a deeper meaning to everything. You see, Jaeun and I weren't the only two siblings under our parents. I'm positive she hadn't told you but we used to have a sibling called Jihee."

His gaze locked with hers. Moisture coiling up in his eyes. "And everything starts with her."

CREATORS' THOUGHTS
AuthorSho

Well, even though Jaemin is messed up, there IS a reason to why he is first in school and a Moon Group favorite. He has a tendency of letting his emotions fog up his logic, but he's no ordinary foe. He’s scary. He’s a manipulator.

I think writing his perspective is one of my favorites, just because I have to have my brain rolling as well and because his morals are so messed up :p

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