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95% My Experience Being Human / Chapter 19: You don't owe me, you don't know me

Chapter 19: You don't owe me, you don't know me

Sumas didn't really know how long it had been since the last time they had been awake, how much time had passed slipping in and out of consciousness, or what had transpired in those times. They knew Cire and Suraci had taken turns holding them as they drifted off to sleep. As they were waking up they became increasingly aware of the heated argument that Suraci and Cire were having.

"Listen you arrogant, dick lit primate, you know Sumas about as well as Womby knows the politics in Mertropolis." Cire said tersely as Womby chattered her teeth at him in protest. "Sorry Womby, but it's not like you live in Mertropolis."

"I get that you've known Sumas for a while which is why I'm surprised. You have to know this mission is the most important thing and also their greatest attempt at resolving their problems. Do you think being on the run is better for them? They really don't have any good options in this scenario. While Womby might not know much about merpolitics.." Suraci had just made Womby's shit list with that last comment. She hissed and chattered at him and Cire as she dissapeared into the trees while Suraci continued talking.

At first Sumas was a little groggy and couldn't really grasp what the argument was about, but as Sumas gained consciousness the argument became obvious. Initially it was disbelief, and then frustration, and finally rage. Being a test subject lent Sumas to an absolute offense when other tried to make decisions for them, so hearing two people they had held close and trusted holding this kind of conversation felt like the ultimate betrayal. Then, as if an angel of mercy let a wing feather drift slowly down to defuse a nuclear reactor, Suraci said "Cire, I respect the bond you have with Sumas and the length of time you've known each other, however jealous it might make me. I've seen your diligence throughout this difficult situation. I know you care, but I still think is best that Sumas make these decisions. Maybe they will make the wrong choice, but your paternalistic attitude will never allow them any autonomy, which seems to me like they thing they crave most having always escaped from captivity."

"So you're ok with them throwing away their life on this stupid mission?" Cire bit back with his words.

"I hardly think it's stupid and no, I'm not ok with it, but you have consider what kind of life they want to live and can live if they don't. I'm just as much not ok with them being recaptured and subjected to the torment they've continually risked their life to escape from. What's more you should know if Sumas doesn't have your support they'll simply do it alone. Do you think Sumas has better chances with our help or without it?"Suraci quickly rebutted.

The more Sumas listened to the argument the more they were pleased with what Suraci was saying. Never before had they had someone back them so strongly with the exception of Leira. Leira who had still sent Sumas with an escort. However, Sumas couldn't begrudge her because for whatever overbearing, guardian-like behavior Leira demonstrated, Sumas was equally protective of her. When describing the relationship Sumas felt towards Leira, Sumas would often refer to her as 'my twin' and say that they felt so close to her that it was like they shared a womb. As such, no sin would not be forgiven if done by Leira. But this moment, Suraci was surprising Sumas, and it felt like he might be clawing his way into Sumas's chest like a worm working its way diligently into their heart.

However touching what Suraci said was, Cire being so insistent that Sumas not be able to decide was about to get a taste for Sumas's pitch as they started yelling. "Cire, are you fucking kidding me? I am good enough to fight alongside you for merequality, but not fight for myself and my own freedom? Would you have me fight all your battles instead? Are you forgetting how I saved your life? Where did you get such little confidence in me? I'm honestly hurt, but even more than that I'm disappointed. I thought you would know me so much better... after all these years.." Sumas's voice trembled and trailed off as they felt their conflicting feelings fight for dominance. On the one hand they felt the deep and abiding betrayal that wrenched their heart to tears, on the other they felt furious about that slight. They couldn't decide if they wanted to cry or punch him. Compounding this was Suraci looking at them in shock. He wasn't sure if he was going to have to break up a fight or comfort the grieving. While Cire was about as comfortable for him to be around as Victorian surgery, seeing how much Sumas hurt over this immediately made him want to help them make up. Meanwhile, immediately after Sumas started yelling, Womby hopped on their shoulder and started chattering her teeth at Cire and waving her front paws aggressively as if she was cosigning Sumas's argument.

Cire, not missing a beat, immediately fired back. "Doesn't it concern you that the only person who thinks this whole plan of yours isn't absolutely absurd is someone who works for your former captors, and the people who have known and supported you the longest think you're not using your best judgement? I care about you AND I know you and that's why I'm concerned!"

Sumas, too overwhelmed to speak, jumped into the trees and took off. Suraci looked at Cire as if to ask 'aren't you going to follow' and Cire responded with "Let them go cool off. They're emotional right now because they just miscarried, but they'll be back."

Suraci gave Cire a look and then jumped into the trees after Sumas. Catching up to them after several miles Suraci found Sumas in a clearing perched on the rocks behind a waterfall. Announcing his presence he said "Hey."

Sumas looked up but didn't respond. Suraci got closer to Sumas. "For what it's worth, I think Cire means well, he's just not expressing it in the most constructive fashion. I honestly am worried about you too, we just about lost you and I've personally never felt so terrified."

"You really don't know and can't understand what's between me and him, but this isn't just this argument, it's a lot of arguments and this is just the most recent. I'm sorry I hid my symptoms from you. I'll be more mindful and honest." Sumas said.

"How are you feeling physically?" Suraci asked.

"I'm sore, exhausted and nauseated still, but it's barely above normal for me. I'm just not used to paying attention to these things because they're so common." Sumas said with a sigh.

"Where are you sore?" Suraci asked gently.

"Everywhere." Sumas said exhausted.

"I could try to make you feel better, but you're already exhausted." Suraci said not so innocently.

"Is this some kind of foreplay where you try to seduce me?" Sumas said coyly.

"Yeah." Suraci didn't deny it.

"Fine, but you have to do all the work." Sumas said as Suraci wrapped his arms around them and started kissing their neck.

"And don't worry I took care of birth control myself." Suraci added reassuringly.


CREATORS' THOUGHTS
U53rn4m3 U53rn4m3

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life got in the way. I'll try to get this on a more regular schedule like once a week soon, but never wanting force a chapter, I wait to write until I feel inspired.

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