Munchkin Oratoria: A Loki Famiglia Story Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

It should've been a normal day, that stupid Tuesday.

I was walking to work with phone in hand, reading the idle time away. The clouds didn't look any more ominous than an hour or two of rain at their worst, and judging by the annoyed traffic honking to a snail's pace, today was sure to be conducive for reading. Rush hour was best for indolent vices—unless you were the one behind the wheel, which is why I preferred walking. Crossing the street and dodging a stray newspaper floating in the stale wind, I swiped down the screen and checked the time: nine forty-five. I remember when I first started this job I made it a point to always show up thirty minutes early—with eight thirty at my latest, then the compliance department happened. Damned audit bastards.

Old street lamps on old sidewalks passed like an old cartoon's background while faded red fire hydrants punctuated every other block. Tulley was an older part of the city left behind by the times. There were no buildings higher up than twenty storeys, and its skyline was a uniform stonewashed grey—the structures having been built close to and aged together through the years. The streets were just as bland in dull asphalt, almost blending in uniform with the curb. Now, only one building stood out against the neutral drone. Hubert and Hubert Defense's office stuck out in vibrant aluminum paneling red like a screaming pimple whenever the sun rose or set, making the rest of the olden population complain. That, or a bloody dick according to those hippie protesters. I was half a mind from running from the restructuring meeting in an hour. Half because murder was illegal, but a guy could dream, and half because not showing up could cost me my cushy job.

A loud horn blew my ears out.

"Get off the road dumbass!" said the man in the too tight shirt from his beat-up sedan.

"Sorry," I said to the balding Pillsbury dough boy wannabe. I was too caught up with plotting a crime I'd failed to notice crossing into the next street. But I didn't recognize him from anywhere, so that's a small mercy at least. The one thing I hated about Tulley despite the nice coffee shops, parks, groceries, and pretty much everyone who lived there was that anyone who got on our roads magically turned into grade A assholes. Like it was some shitty spell the city cast on them. Then again, that's probably what happens when the subway doesn't cut through your part of the metro.

"Fucking idiot," the man grumbled, then sped for all of five feet before stopping at the next rush hour queue of near eternity.

I flipped him the bird in my head. Believe me when I say working for a military contractor doesn't help with anger management issues. Getting it done was easy enough in theory, but it's the clean-up after that really trips off those court cases. So yeah, that guy gets to maybe live for another few years if his road rage doesn't give him a stroke or heart attack somewhere down the road before I go postal.

I went back on my way, merrily skipping—read as walked like a proper adult—to the schadenfreude of these poor louts suffering through traffic hell. My phone buzzed. It was ten now with the sun well above the low skyline, and I just received the first of today's shipment updates: munitions and replacement hammers were on point, but the barrels were delayed. Not outside of expectations, but things going out of plan still sucked anyway. I crossed the intersection and made my way down another row of buildings.

Then a call came in, it was Jim from IT.

"Hey Jim," I answered.

"Hey Tom," a woman's voice replied. Fuck. It was Laura, Jim's girlfriend and my teammate in analytics.

"H-hey Laura," shit, "is Jim doing alright?" Note to self, that no good sumbitch is dead to me.

"He's fine Tom," she said, terse. "Get your ass here. Now." I sighed. "I know where you live." That wasn't a threat but a statement of fact.

"I'm stuck in traffic, I'll be there soon," I said. Maybe if I booked it to St. George's hospital I can still make it to Doc Zimmer's first appointment for a quick game of hookie?

"Baker street, the green apartment building just after the deli. Second floor, room three."

Guess not. "I'm near the building already." I was five blocks away. "I'll be there soon."

"Good," she said. Then hung up.

That was that. I tightened the straps of my backpack and prayed all the little nicks and doodads wouldn't stab me accidentally when I started running. Laura was a great cook, and an even better friend, but when audit started breathing down her neck—our three years in college together went out the window faster than a guy could fall down a flight of stairs. Or like how I figured how long it'd take once she threw me off.

I braced for that first step and hoped I could make it to that bloody dick just in front of me. Thank you not drill sergeant Lawson, for those wonderful—read as god awful—times in basic training.

Then the noise stopped.

And my next step made a loose crunch instead of a clack.

That wasn't right.

I looked around and saw neither concrete or asphalt where I should on the ground—or buildings anywhere else.

"What." Instead, it looked like a scene straight out of a medieval town: cobblestone roads and rough-hewn masonry, wrought iron lamps—okay, those didn't change much—and people in tunics, robes, skimpy nighties, way too much leather, and more robes. Also, animal ears.

None of this made sense.

I met the gaze of a girl, blonde and maybe in her teens. She looked away in a hurry and got back to what she was doing: handling chickens. Live chickens. Scanning further, the bustle had other things I'd never seen before in the concrete jungle: baskets of fruits carried over sweat soaked backs, textiles and trinkets peddled on wooden carts with wooden wheels, people arguing with livestock standing beside them. My hand found my face.

Smack!

Damn that hurt—and whatever this shit was wasn't a dream. Uneasy smiles broke out from those nearest me, but no out of the ordinary responses. A hallucination then? The panic settled into confusion and trickled down my fingers as the aroma of freshly lain shit wafted up my nostrils. My chest was a mess of butterflies and hot sauce flushes. As someone with four years of formal chemistry education—and had never done drugs before of any kind—the only conclusion here was that my brain had gone off the deep end. I didn't think I could hate a bunch of people to the point of going crazy—on top of getting a death threat from some murderous bitch—but hey, those blood-sucking bastards were just that bad I guess. Screw those audit pricks.

Also, if there was a god, may my death at Laura's hands be swift and painless. And failing that, then at least make it worthwhile.

I scrambled for my phone in the hopes of salvaging enough of my ass to shit with but got no signal—in the middle of the city. With a shitload of satellite dishes and antennas around. Supposedly. Did I just end up in another world? If I were lucky, maybe. If I were really unlucky, that'd still be a yes. The tell-tale smell of sun dried earth—as opposed to exhaust and stale garbage—added to some nagging worry at the back of my head. Right now wasn't the time for that though, breaking down in front of a crowd—whether hallucinated or not—just wasn't any way to go. I needed to get to the hospital.

I walked over to the nearest person while repeatedly sending messages to Laura about my sudden affliction. Oh god I'm so fucked. The dried dirt clung to my slacks from the small puffs I kicked up, and I stopped in front of a lady in a pair of black and blue trainers of a sort. She looked the least strange in terms of clothing compared to my dirtied grey suit.

"Hi, may I bother you to help me to St. George's hospital? It's right down the road, two blocks down." They even have this nice coffee shop nearby with the best macchiatos anywhere, enough to wash down an audit bastard's lingering distaste. I just needed to make sure I didn't get run over on the way seeing how I wasn't seeing any traffic at all.

Her brows twitched, as her eyes narrowed. Did I say something wrong?

"I seem to be having an attack of sorts." On closer inspection, her clothes looked rough woven, like they were made of a tougher yarn despite their modern aesthetic. Behind her, a blond boy dressed in a yellow and purple frock; a female teen with green hair and pointy ears in robes and pants; and another blonde teen in a white backless dress and blue knee-high boots all stepped up to take her flanks. Their red-headed leader—why I figured that in this day and age I didn't know—stepped forward.

"Excuse me?" she said. Her companions drew puzzled looks.

A slight twinge of relief made me realize I'd been holding my breath. "I need medical attention and am suffering from some ailment right now. Could I ask you to take me down to St. George's hospital down the road?" Looking closer, her companions had blades with them, small and much larger than combat knives in size. They were light grey at a glance and were well polished to the point of shining against the light. Curiosity overrode panic—this was an amazingly detailed hallucination.

"Can you understand me?" the red-head asked, halfway between worry and unbridled excitement—two things that never made good for anyone on the receiving end. Like that one time with the head of field ops, Robert. Ex-military man. Lots of badass. Lots of gusto for shooting big guns. No regard for safety at all. Behind her, the three shared more clueless looks.

"Yes," I answered. The red-head broke out into a grin. A chill went down my back. "Now, about that hospital?"

"Kid"—she hung an arm around my shoulders—"you don't need a hospital."

A lump got stuck in my throat. "Excuse me?"

She turned to the blond boy. "Finn, please take our guest here back to the familia base."

The one she called Finn just stared at the red-head's order. She tsked, then said something in a different language. The boy nodded—though his frown said otherwise. Behind them, the green-haired teen kept pointing at the three of us while making nagging gesture which the blond girl just nodded to.

Finn drew closer, his movements stiff. He had soft features and an uneasy smile that would've swept any sugar mom off her feet. Cute was justice, and I might not have minded going with this group given more normal circumstances.

I declined his outstretched hand. "I appreciate the offer, but I'd really prefer professional medical help instead." Like any sane person would.

The redhead let out a boisterous laugh. "You just made my day, boy." She said something to Finn again, and Finn's demeanor went from avoidant to driven in an instant.

Finn rushed me. I put up a hand to slap him away, but the next thing I knew I was already on his back—my one hundred and fifty pounds of five foot six—and carried like he would a small sack of potatoes over his less than four feet and not more than seventy pounds of skin and bones. What the flying fuck?!

"Please put me down," I said.

"No," the redhead replied.

I narrowed my eyes at her but she just stood there all smug. It was annoying. I struggled against the pipsqueak as hard as I could, flailing my arms and legs to break free but he wouldn't give and all I got out of it was my tumbler falling out of my bag. It rang against the cobblestones. The blonde girl picked it up and fumbled with the stainless-steel canister, then passed it to the pointy-eared teen who inspected it with transparent curiosity.

"Give up," the redhead said.

I frowned at her. "This kid doesn't make sense," I said, and made to move for the knife in my bag but my hand was stopped by the blonde girl. She shook her head at me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," redhead said.

Frustration didn't even cut it close. This was insulting on top of threatening. "Is it money you want?" And I'll want a trace on these bastards later.

Redhead just laughed in my face. "You have no idea at all, do you?"

"Of what?"

"Of how deep into this you are right now."

"You're not making sense." I struggled some more, and still nothing.

"Let me break it down for you," redhead said. "You ended up in a different place than where you came from."

Right, I get threatened—possibly by my own hallucination—about some mysterious thing she won't mention and now she's telling me to take something she said as is. "Sure, that totally makes sense." I struggled some more.

"You'll thank me later for keeping you," she said.

"You mean held against my will?"

"You're free to scream if you think it'll help."

If the others around me didn't understand like how her lackeys did—wait, no, that can't be right. Why wouldn't the people around me understand? "Help!" I said, and besides a few strange looks, no one else did anything. Her lackeys were only slightly troubled. "What did you do?" I asked her.

"Nothing," she said, pointing a dainty finger at my nose, "but I think the better question is: what happened to you."

What did happen to me?

#

After that, things passed in a blur. Light and stones melted into each other as I rhythmically bobbed against the boy's steady pace. When I came to, I was still getting carried over his shoulder with the sun around noon-ish, which meant I hadn't been out for too long. Anyone in the same situation would've freaked out with whatever the hell was happening and just as confused. Why the hell didn't anyone help me? How come I'm talking to this weird ass lady? And, why the hell am I getting carried? Was I just hallucinating it all? Was I dreaming? The pain from when I slapped myself before should've disproved that, but that's assuming you really couldn't feel pain in a dream, and it's not as if anyone's ever proven it was impossible.

Or had they?

"Welcome back," the lady said, and gave my head a few pats. The weight of it didn't help settle the anxiety of whatever this was. It felt so real, to have her touch me like that, and each piece of evidence that pointed towards this really happening meant more and more that something other than what I expected was happening.

When did I start doubting?

I just glared at her.

"The silent treatment? Really? This late into the game?"

Her lackeys were still with us, and the scenery had changed from that more open courtyard like space to these narrower streets. The stones here were lighter in color, as if they were newer. We also passed a shirtless man scrubbing away at the walls with a crude brush. More people with different ears and tails and heights painted the backdrop, and more and more, this seemed all too natural.

"Not much I can say," I said. And as much as I hated to admit to it, what she did might have been for the best now that I was more lucid. Sure, I was screaming for a good portion of that hazy episode, but I wasn't too unreasonable. After all, I was draped over a kid's shoulders without a care in the world with my pleas for help not even phasing any passersby one bit. It was unsettling to consider this a normal occurrence for this lot.

"The name's Loki mind you," she said, "and you'd do yourself a favor introducing yourself to me."

Now that I wasn't panicking as much, I noticed how the people seemed to make way for our group when a trio of ladies sent flirtatious winks my—rather, Finn's way, and he just waved back. They half-pressed themselves closer to the wall, just enough to make space, but also enough to still brush against the blond. Just another quirk to whatever this was. Redhead smiled with an aside, and the pointy eared teen—dare I say, the elf, just rolled her eyes.

After the trio came a line of five, two men and three women, the former both in plate armor with one carrying a dull sword and shield and the other with a spear. The women had one dressed in robes like our elf had, another darker skinned one wearing what looked like just a bandeau with feathers as decorations, and a kid that looked as tall as Finn with a comically huge backpack. That was a scene I was sure I'd never seen before in any game, book, show, or movie.

Again, nothing was making sense—in a way I wanted it to. There was that lingering thought behind that seemed to have the answer, but that way laid madness. "Why did you take me?"

Loki looked back after waving to some large lady dressed in a maid outfit. And by large I meant like she could deadlift a car and still dance a jig. She also had some other women with her similarly dressed but much smaller in stature, with two of them bearing cat ears and another had pointy ones like our resident elf. Right. Elves. Cat-people. And… I guess hobbits? This sounded exactly like the start of some Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Again, madness.

"You were interesting," she said.

Resignation floated up from the pit of my tired guts. "And I suppose here's the part where you tell me I'm some special person?"

She nodded with a smile and said, "Looks like you're finally getting with the program." She frowned. "That idiom makes sense to you, yes?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Because where you came from might not have developed organized entertainment?"

That drew a blank, and it must've shown on my face. I couldn't even begin to… Just. That. And really, the only thing I could say was, "What'chu talkin' 'bout Loki?"

"All the evidence should point towards a conclusion now, umm?..."

Fine. "Thomas," I said, "my name's Thomas."

"Right, Thomas." She cleared her throat. "You can run away from it now, but you'll have to face the music." She gave me a look.

"Yes, I also know that idiom."

She nodded, satisfied. "And where else have you heard the name Loki before?" She pushed her cheek close to mine, literally rubbing it in.

And all that resignation was washed away with a shit draining dread that pulled all the blood away from my fingers and toes, making my head swim from the influx of panic that was kept at bay by avoiding the real—fuck—issue at hand. I wanted to just cry and scream some more, and insanity was much better than this clarity of thought that brought the finest of my focus on the small breeze that carried with it the smell of freshly baked bread and burnt wood. The feel of Finn's rougher clothes rubbing against my smooth cotton had been nagging me all this while, and now. Only now, did I really get the damned brunt of it hit me like a truck.

And in the teeniest, tiniest voice, I said, "I'm not supposed to be here."

Loki laughed like the madman of myth, except she was a she, and thankfully much cuter than I ever imagined the giant born trickster god. Goddess. Honestly, it didn't even matter now. She kept laughing a good long while with Finn and the rest of her buddies just carrying on with life. From a corner of the elf's eyes I could see clear exhaustion, and it was the most human I'd ever seen of her. My gaze met Finn's and his expression softened, like he was feeling pity… or was that empathy? I couldn't tell which was worse. The blonde girl was simply blank.

"If you were smarter, you should've ran Thomas," Loki said with a fox's grin plastered across her mug.

"And with how you had Finn here catch me I bet that would've worked out well."

She nodded. "Glad to see I didn't pick up an idiot."

"That's not what Laura would've said," I muttered under my breath. Still… Fuck. Okay, let's for one second assume I really were in another world. How the hell was time passing back in my world? Was I already dead? Did I get here from some dimensional rift or something?

A pair of hands brought me face to face with a not bad face. "You have this thing you do with your eyes darting around whenever you think," Loki said. And good lord did her eyes pierce into mine like they saw everything.

"My job makes me think a lot," I said, and tried to pull myself back but she wouldn't let me.

"Well," she said, letting me go, "just try to get used to things for now. Overthinking will just make you suffer more, and no, you don't have a choice with coming back with me to my home."

Did I even have a choice in the first place? Whatever. At least I wasn't left in the dust to fend for myself. "Next thing you're gonna tell me something like you live in a castle."

"I do," she said with a wink. She gestured to the three with her. "We all do."

"Okay," I said, "not the craziest thing I'd heard today."

Loki nodded at Finn. "You can put him down now," she said, and Finn frowned at her. Loki face-palmed then said some unintelligible words, and I was let down.

"Thank you," I said, dusting myself off and trying to shake away the slight vertigo from the shift in position. Defeat made me feel like puking, but if I could hold it through a small panic attack while getting restrained by a hobbit—fine, let's just call the hobbit a hobbit. Assuming that's what they called his kind here—oh good lord this is all so fucked up.

Loki chopped at my head. "Stop thinking."

It didn't hurt. "Right, right." Finn bowed a bit at me with a wry smile.

"We're almost there," Loki said.

With that, the narrow streets gave way to a larger space, this one more orderly with the rows of shops and some people eating and making merry. It looked like a festival was underway, but there were no decorations to signify so. Granted I was judging it based on my understanding of how festivals went. Loki waved to the people there, and so did Finn and the elf, while the blonde girl was assaulted by two dark skinned girls, one in a yellow bandeau like I saw another lady in earlier, and the other in what could only be called a red bikini top. They dragged the blonde away and red bikini gave Finn a smoldering look that made me feel like a dirty slab of beef. Finn smiled as they excused themselves, but his smile hid its fair share of worries, like for his chastity.

"You guys are famous?" That would explain the reverence from those before.

"You can say that," Loki said, then dove for a lady with bunny ears and thigh high socks—but was dodged, only for another lady with cat ears to also get out of the way, and for Loki to hit home with an elf girl in a pink dress. She groped the girl without a second thought and I just had to step in.

I pulled Loki away from the elf by the shoulders, giving the latter a big enough gap to slip away and run.

Loki broke free of my grip to give chase, but the elf was already too far away. She turned back, angry. "Why would you even do that?"

"I should be the one saying that!" This ranked just below me freaking out about this being another world on the scale of crazy shit today. "And how'd you even get away with that? Where were the police or something?"

Loki flipped me the bird. "I'm a goddess, I can do what I want."

What do you even reply to that. Was she a god? "Like create from nothing kind of god?"

Loki nodded. "Thaaat's me" she said with a drawn-out flair. "But things have changed since coming down so I'm not that powerful anymore. In this form at least."

"What?"

"Don't bother with the details for now"—she put her hands to her hips and leaned over—"come on, I've still got to make you mine." She took my hand and pulled me towards where the people were thickest.

"Excuse me?"

Loki paused, and her usual grin turned into a wicked smile. "Naughty boy," she said, but kept walking.

"No." I shook my head. "Just no."

Loki didn't bother listening and just dragged me along. "It's the castle I told you about, aren't you the least bit excited?" She pointed in the distance and yes, there really was a castle like she said. It was a fiery red masonry of jagged edges and twisted spires.

"People live there?" Dude, that place looked like it housed the end game's demon lord… which, considering the owner, didn't seem far off. "Did I get dragged into some cult?" And, she's been waving to everyone here like they all knew her. I guess it came with being a god? Or were they like Finn and the others? Followers of a kind?

"You're technically not wrong," Loki said.

"That doesn't improve the situation." Wait, so this really was a cult?!

"Ah, but it makes it interesting!"

Okay Thomas, let's think this through for—

The same pair of hands brought me back to the now. "If you keep doing this even inside the dungeon you'll really end up getting killed."

"What the hell are you talking about? Dungeon? Are you kidding me? Is this really some Dungeons and Dragons setting with all these elves, hobbits… and"—I pointed at a bearded stocky man standing next to Finn—"dwarves?"

Loki gave me a patronizing pat on the shoulder with the same smug look. "Complete with the levels."

Huh?

"You heard right," she said, "Finn over there is one of my highest level children, a level six. Ah, and the dwarf next to him is Gareth, also a level six, and the elf with us before was also level six, Riveria."

I am such a goddamn nerd.

"I'm not making this up," she said, still with the smug look, "and the blonde with us, Aiz, was a level five with the title of Sword Princess." She smirked.

I am so convinced this is all a hallucination now.

Loki gestured to the people around us, and said, "And everyone you've been seeing since we passed that gate before are all my followers." She stood real darn proud and satisfied with herself.

"You know what, sure, I can roll"—heh—"with this." Levels, Dungeons and Dragons, elves, gods… "And I suppose magic also exists? Ah, and monsters for gaining experience."

Loki stroked some imaginary bead while nodding. "I'm really glad I picked you up before anyone else could."

Anyone else? "Other gods you mean?"

"Yep."

"So if you're Loki then gods like Odin"—she nodded—", Thor"—nod—", Freya"—nod, grumble, and stomp on the ground. Okay, bad blood, eh? "Uh, maybe Zeus?"

Loki shook a hand in front of her, and said, "Nah, he'd already died and went back to Heaven."

"…Right. Ares?"

Loki's grin turned to disgust. "If stupid had a name, it'd be Ares. Violent and stupid with a really loud mouth."

"That's a lot of hostility. What the hell did he do to you anyway?"

Loki's smiling eyes changed into an image of death. "He killed my bonsai."

"Yeah, okay. That." What the hell is even happening anymore? "God, what kinds of drugs are they pumping into me."

Loki slapped me real hard and loud enough to get everyone's attention.

"Dammit that hurt!"

All eyes turned to us. "Did that help?"

My right cheek stung like hell, I rubbed it with a hand. "Why would you even do that?"

Loki said a few things to the crowd, then they went back to their usual business. These people really were her followers. Then she took my face again and pulled me close, close enough for our noses to be touching. "Look at me," she said. And some stupid reaction made me feel like kissing her. "Your pupils were really dilated, and you might not have noticed but you were getting really red every now and then whenever you went into one of your thinking spirals."

"What?"

"You were going through an Acute Stress Reaction," she said, hands firm against my face. "PTSD? Ring a bell?"

"An acute what now? And PTSD?" I was going through—

She pinched my cheeks. "You don't read a lot on medicine?"

"Medicine?"

Loki groaned. "Ugh, just say: thank you Loki."

"Uhh… thank you, Loki?"

She released me. "Good. Let's get you inside."

#

The castle was a lot more welcoming inside with pastel blues and greens filling the first floor, with intricate stonework for the walls and floor. Chairs and tables were in every other corner with sofas and bookshelves taking center stage in some of the bigger spaces. It was a living room with a lot of people doing said living in mind, with big open windows letting in a lot of light that made the carpet really stand out with its swirling designs. There were also several potted plants on the floor and hung against the walls, giving the place a very homely and refreshing feel. And, were those chandeliers?

"Welcome to your new home," Loki said. "I'll introduce you to everyone later, Status first."

Only after Loki told me about my stress reaction thing did I notice my heart was beating hard against my chest, even making my ears echo. I tried my best to calm down after, but a little slip was all it took to make the panic all come back. Her warm hand against mine was a comfort I didn't think possible, but I wouldn't dare let go of it now. Everything of mine was numb yet I kept walking, listening to her voice and reminding me of the now. "Those are the levels thing?"

"Yeah," she said. "Up we go. My room's on an upper floor."

She led me up a flight of stairs lined with a dark blue carpet, the stone beneath a cool grey. The hand holds were done with intricate wood carvings like Celtic knots, which was a little weird since Loki was part of the Norse pantheon. We passed the second floor and went straight up for the third, and the hall was lined with doors every three or so meters with what could only be called lamps exuding a white light from a floating crystal between each.

I pointed at the thing. "And I suppose that's a sample of magic? The crystal is probably the source while that bracket thing around it with glowing writing is what's consuming the mana and executing said magic?"

Loki smiled. "Close, but not complete. And you're taking this better than before." She hummed in approval.

I shrugged. "You can only have your worldview upturned so many times in a day and still be surprised." Bile rose up but I managed to swallow it in time.

We continued towards the end of the hall and turned left to a double door with grander looking lamps beside it. In front of it was a balcony overlooking the courtyard of the property where her other followers could be seen going about their daily lives. There was a sofa hidden from the sunlight by the awning with some well-worn cushions and a small side table with a couple of books on them. Looking out, I saw Finn holding a spear and I guess instructing a few others, showing them some swings and stabs. We were high enough to get a good view but not so high that people's faces blurred out of detail.

"You said they were your children?" What a strange thing to call your followers.

"Not biologically if that's what you're asking," she said with a chuckle. "You'll see soon enough."

She opened the double doors and led me inside to a large room. There was a four poster bed inside with deep blue covers, and to the left of it was an ornate dresser and gilded from the looks of it. The room also had a shelf full of plushies of different animal and non-animal figures. And like a shrine, there was a centerpiece of a glass case with… soiled panties?

"I'm not even gonna ask."

"I'm not letting you sniff them," she said with a fire behind those fox eyes.

"You went full pervert, Loki," I said, "you don't go full pervert." Okay, I cannot be that fucked up enough to think all this up. Yeah, fine, this is another world. No drugs at all in my system and no more doubts about my subconscious.

"Hush you," she said. "Now put your bag down somewhere and let's get this over with."

I put down my bag near the bed. Had this been back on Earth, was this place also called Earth? Whatever. This would've been a pretty hot development.

"And I get you're happy to fantasize but we're not here to do that, heck, at least take me to dinner first!"

I frowned at her. "You're still a lady you know, and an attractive one to me, the quirks and perversions just really make it weird to be."

"You talk too much," she said, "now strip."

I was about to say something but thought better and simply kept it shut. Not the craziest I'd heard today. I saw the glass case. And not the craziest I'd seen either. "Can I at least take a shower first? And whatever happened to dinner?" I took off my suit jacket and started on my shirt.

"Just the tip."

I gagged.

She laughed real loud again and even slapped my back, enough to sting but not hurt. Though it did make me feel something else. "I mean the top!" She poked my cheek with a finger. "At least now you're blushing, and jeez, calm down already, I can still see you have goosebumps."

"I did?" I checked my arm. "I do." I took another few breaths. "You do this often?"

"Get men to strip in my room?"

I stared at her, then turned back to finish taking off my clothes.

"I'm kidding." She stuck a little pink tongue out. "Yeah, a lot of my younger children still get skittish."

I chuckled. "You sure don't look like you've had a lot yet."

A pillow hit my back. "Look at you cracking jokes," she said, and patted my head a few times. She hugged me from behind. I was taller than her, but it felt just as nice and warm as her hand before. I was also made painfully aware of her body pressed against mine and the smell of cinnamon. She was really soft. "Don't worry," Loki said, "I'll be sure to take care of you."

She let me go and I took off my shirt. "What happens next?" I dared to ask. The light in her room was just right to see everything with, and her red eyes were a sight to behold in the girly room. I swallowed hard. She reached out with a hand to my cheek—and pinched hard. "Hey!"

She puffed her cheeks. "Teasing you works too well," she said with a pink tinge. Loki then pulled out the stool from her dresser and set it near the bed. She gave the seat a pat. "Sit here with your back to me and I'll grant you my blessing."

I shook away the surprisingly embarrassing thing just now. I was so confused by everything and now a cute girl was telling me weird ass things on top of going off character with that last thing! But I've already gone ahead with everything, let's just see this through to the end. "Here, yeah?" I took my seat and tried to still the beating of my heart. It was surreal, the heat from where she hugged me.

Loki cleared her throat and sat by the bed. "Ah," she said.

I turned to look but her hand stopped my head, "Don't look here."

"Is it a secret god thing?"

"Ah, sure. Whatever." She sighed. "This might feel a bit weird the first time."

A shiver went down my back. What the hell was up with this meek tone!? "You're being real cute now, you know?"

She pinched my side. It didn't hurt as much. "Shut up! I need to concentrate!"

Silence. All that remained was the sound of our breathing. Then something cool touched my back—and from it a great heat radiated outward, filling the room with a bright glow. "What?"

"Ah, bright!" She stopped my head again from turning back. "I got this."

Sweeping sensations made trails on my back, and I think it was Loki drawing shapes against my skin. The warmth of it ebbed and flowed, like some weights were shifting within me and carrying my conscious.

"What the heck?!" she said, and again she stopped me from turning back. "Stop squirming!"

"You made light come from my skin, of course I'm gonna be concerned!"

"It's magic, just let it happen!" A pause. "Wow, you really enjoyed what we were doing earlier, eh?"

What? Shit, did she see my tent?! "Huh?"

"Don't mind what I said, we have an empathic link right now, and… wow, you really do go crazy with your porn, eh?"

"You're just saying that!"

The great weights within now had the sensation of swirling pools of… something, both coming out and coming it at once. The light from the room's lamp dimmed, while the light from my back grew in intensity.

"So you had a thing for this Laura?" she said with a patronizing tone. "And damn, Tom, you really shouldn't ask someone to get together with you over the internet."

Shit. "What else are you seeing!?"

"Everything," she said with a shaky voice. "And wow, what's this… about… flat chests?!"

"Nothing!"

Then the light just exploded in brightness and Loki screamed as the glow reached a climax. No pun intended.

The doors to the room were thrown off their hinges by a squad of armed people with Finn at the lead. "Goddess Loki!" he said, spear in hand.

Our eyes met. Then his gaze went down to where Loki was now just magically sitting on top of me who had fallen on my back against the floor. How we ended up here, I didn't know or understand, just that Loki spazzed when the light went haywire from that blessing thing of hers and did whatever weird ass shit to my soul—and yes, I felt my soul get manhandled for some reason and it was… hot, to some extent but also really really really scary.

"I'm sorry for intruding." Finn shooed the other armed people outside away.

"It's not what it looks like!" But all I got was a…

"Please take care of our wayward goddess."

The doors closed, and there Loki was still out of her wits. Groaning, I think. The room's light went back to normal, while the stool I sat on was busted beyond recognition under me. Which surprisingly didn't hurt. Also, Loki's butt on top of me was starting to get…

What the hell was that?!

"You said something?" I asked Loki. Also, did I just talk to Finn earlier?

Her eyes finally moved and met mine. Surprise. Wonder. Embarrassment. Lust. Wait. Lust?

She got off in a flash went to her bed, hiding under her covers and flustered like a hissing cat. "Hisssss." Exactly like a hissing cat. She pointed a shaky finger at me, the shock on her face clear for all the world—clear for me to see.

"You're really freaking me out here." She was the one all flirty and shit earlier and acting as if she had her crap together and figured out all ways to Tuesday and back. And what the hell was up with her anyway? What the hell was with my chin itching? I scratched it and felt the scruff scratch back. I was clean shaven from this morning. "The hell."

"…bs." Loki sounded like an idiot. "Hey! I heard that!"

"What?"

"You called me an idiot!"

"In my head yea—"

Loki, for lack of a better word, attacked me from her covered position by shoving her delicate hand over my mouth. This looked like the start of some doujin.

"Stooop!" she said, her face red as hell.

I broke free of her attempts to gag me, and saw a few veins on the back of my hand. I wasn't that thin. I looked at my hands, they were more slender… and saw the hard muscle beneath my arms and… I had abs?! I had a magic fucking six-pack?! My eyes met a just as wide-eyed Loki. Then I scrambled for the mirror… and saw me. Or at least, the me from back in college when I was still doing sports. The me who had, at the time, could swim a few kilometers without a sweat and climb up to the tenth floor and back without a worry.

Loki poked my belly, or lack thereof. "What happened to you?"

"Shouldn't you be the one to know?!"

Holy smoking hell, this piece of ass is mine.

"Excuse me?!"

Loki and I were like two deer caught in each other's headlights. She covered her mouth.

You can hear my thoughts?!

"I can hear your thoughts?!"

You like flat chests?

"All boobs are good."

She slapped my shoulder. "Stop raising flags dammit!"

#

When we both finally calmed down, she remembered her position long enough to set this piece of paper on my back to copy my Status so I could see too.

#

Level 1

Strength = I0

Endurance = I0

Dexterity = I0

Agility = I0

Magic = I0

Madness Spectrum = I

Tranquil Intervention = I

World Walker = I

Fated Actor = I

Magic

Answered Prayer = Allows two-way communication with one's patron god or goddess with Mind consumption based on distance. Chantless Magic.

Skill

Babel Jack = Allows automatic translation of written and verbal information to some understandable form to the user.

#

"You're bullshit," she said. She was sitting on her bed while I sat on the floor, and already dressed again. "You've got three Developmental Abilities just for coming to this world and another from me unwittingly saving you from the madness of coming here! Plus, you have a Magic that empathically links you to me, and a Skill that translates everything said around you to something you can understand!" She flicked the paper in her hands like it was a dirty rag.

"Don't sweat it," I said. The scandalized look she had was simply priceless. "It's a common trope of those summoned hero stories anyway, and weren't you the one displaying knowledge outside this place's norms? You even asked me about idioms of all things."

"Yeah," she said, "but that's because I knew about those things when I was still in Heaven! You, though. You're something this world has never seen before."

"A place with magic ought to—"

"No. I'm gonna stop you right there." Annoyed would've been an understatement. She still looked cute though. "And stop it with the Stockholm Syndrome!"

I shrugged. "If you saw enough to learn about my and Laura's history then you would've known why I was attracted to her in the first place."

"Geh." She waved her arms about. "Back on topic!" Loki cleared her throat. She was surprisingly weak to getting teased back. Loki tsked.

"Stopping."

"It's distracting."

"Understood."

I wonder what she looks like naked though? And could goddesses get pregnant? Biology would be a very interesting—I was smothered with a pillow.

"I didn't see anyone summon you," she said, taking on a dead serious tone. "But your Developmental Ability Fated Actor was revealed to be granted to those who answered some summon."

"What do you mean, revealed? Shouldn't you know everything as a god?"

"I'm flesh and blood right now so I don't have access to all my godly powers, so I'm just as lost as you. Those idiots back in Heaven probably have some idea though, but this is beyond me."

"Hold up. You keep mentioning heaven, is it like a capital G god heaven?"

"What? No, not like that. Just gods. That higher power stuff even I don't know about."

"Still, if magic exis—"

"Stop using magic as an excuse," Loki snapped. "Magic follows laws just like physics, and not everything is possible with magic."

"And dimensional transfers?"

"How'd you think you got here?"

"Fair enough."

"And stop distracting me, and you better make damn sure you shave after this. That stubble doesn't look good on you."

"Really? But I figured it'd look better."

"It'd get in the way," she grumbled.

"I heard that."

Loki groaned. "Someone else in Heaven might have summoned you. Why you? I don't know, but about getting back to your world, it should be possible."

"Cool, and how do I do that?"

"By ascending to godhood yourself."

"I can do that?" Holy shit for real?!

"Yes, but it's a lot harder than it sounds." Loki massaged her temples. "Look, I can't say how long it'll take, but it's definitely possible. I just can't say what would've already happened to your world, alright?"

A heavy silence remained.

"But its still something I can do." Panic shot through me, but, it was more manageable than before. Fear was still there. Lots of it. Fear of not being enough, of failing, of being too late. But it was something. "I can't not do anything."

"I know," she said with a sad smile.

"I won't die without a fight."

"I know. And that's why I'm making sure you can put up good one no matter who." Then that wicked grin returned. "And until you do reach that godhood, which you hopefully do one day, I'll be putting you to work."

"Give and take after all. What do you have in mind though?"

"Remember that empathic link of ours?"

I nodded.

"It's a very rare ability that no one else in our familia has, that's what we call our followers mind you, children under our familia. And you're the first one to get it."

As someone who really treasures her people, I can see the merit of it to her. "So what necessitates such a thing anyway? I mean, long distance communication is amazing, but how far away are we talking anyway?"

Loki shook her head. "Not far away, but deep below." She put a hand on my shoulder. "Rejoice, Tom. Dungeons and dragons are real. Though there's just one Dungeon. Ah, but there's a buttload of annoying dragons down at the fifty-second floor. I'll be sure to get Finn to take you there sometime."

"So… a magic dungeon that drops loot and people can make money off of?"

"Yep."

"And I have a Status with Magic and Skills?"

"Yep."

"Is this an RPG?"

"It was a fun system when we thought about it at the time, so, yeah, sorta."

"And what, reaching godhood is like a new game plus?"

Loki looked troubled for a moment. "That's a good question."

"That's not an answer."

#

The introduction to the rest of the Loki Familia was done over dinner, with Loki taking the time to get me all dressed up as a proper citizen of Not Earth. The people here, people including humans, beastkin, elves, dwarves, and spirits, never bothered naming the planet since the gods kinda came in and interrupted the whole golden age thing. Though they did save them from the threat of the Dungeon and its monsters, so it was more like the golden age couldn't happen and then said gods got bored of waiting. Bunch of no good bums.

"I heard that!"

"You agree anyway!"

"But that blanket statement includes me!"

"Fair."

We didn't tell everyone else the whole story but the so called familia executives were all gathered together for my second introduction, hence the meeting tonight in Loki's room. They all stood around me who was sitting together with Loki on her bed. The executives were the highest level members and likewise the strongest, composed of: Riveria the elf, Finn the hobbit, Aiz the human, a dwarf, two amazonesses—I didn't know the plural—, and a beastman for a total of seven people.

"You've already met Finn," Loki said, gesturing at him.

He gave me a thumbs up. "Please keep her away from everyone."

Riveria, Aiz, and the two amazonesses nodded.

Loki ignored his comment and went on, "I already told you about Riveria, a high elf, and Aiz, a human."

Aiz and Riveria bowed to me, and the latter said, "I apologize on behalf of Loki, but I guess you got a good deal out of it?" Her eyes were smiling but her lips were not.

"She's pretty savage."

"Don't let her calm looks fool you, there's a fire hidden under those loins." Loki was huffing by the time she said so.

Aiz looked troubled but Riveria didn't even bat an eye.

"She takes some getting used to," the high elf said.

"I noticed."

"Hey!" Loki recovered. "The scruffy guy is Bete, a werewolf."

"He transforms under the moon?"

"How'd you know?" said the gangster like roughneck.

"Magic," I said with accompanying jazz hands.

The amazoness with the yellow bandeau looked at me like I was a bug. "How come he sounds a lot like Loki?"

Loki just smiled at her all smug. Glad to see it wasn't just me she did that too. "The two amazons"—Loki smirked at me—"are Tione, the one in red, and Tiona, the one in yellow. And no, I don't force them to dress like that."

"That's good to hear," sorta.

The two girls bowed anyway.

"And that's Gareth, a dwarf," Loki said, gesturing at the stout man with the solid and stocky body. "He'll be the one in charge of training you for a while."

Gareth nodded. "I'll be sure to get him up to speed."

I stood up and returned the bow to the others, "It's a pleasure to meet everyone. And next comes the story of how I got here."

Finn raised an eyebrow but the others were unreadable. And so it went that I told them my story from where I came from and when I just magically appeared in this place up to Finn and the others meeting me and then now that I just so happened to have become the new guy in the family. Familia. Whatever.

"And you want to go back to your world?" Finn asked.

There was no malice in that question, just plain unadulterated curiosity. Spend enough time with someone from Finance and you eventually pick up on even the smallest nuances in language. Though, wasn't what I was hearing just translated via some magic? "Yes."

He nodded. "It's good to have a goal. I was worried for you back when we first met, Loki said she'd found a new toy but you were out of your wits like a madman for a while."

"Thank you for taking care me."

Bete raised his hand next. "And you're a level one?" He tsked.

"Yes." Such a rude fellow.

"With four developmental abilities, a skill, and a spell for communication," Gareth added. "No doubt you would be useful to us."

"I'm gonna be stuck here for a while anyway, might as well make the best of it."

"That's a good way of looking at it."

Pretty words from someone who almost got PTSD just from freaking out.

Hey! That was a perfectly valid reaction to the shit I found myself in.

Tiona raised her hand. "We'll be taking him down to the fiftieth floor and beyond?"

"Not until he reaches level two," Loki said. At that, everyone turned serious. "Don't worry, his abilities all make him much hardier than your average level one."

"The next expedition is scheduled in two months," Finn said, "how long will we have to postpone?"

"That all depends on Thomas here," Loki said, "best start grinding, no?"

"Kill monsters, right." I sighed. No time like the present. "I've always wanted to try killing something." Who knows, maybe if I imagine I was killing monsters like I was killing those assholes in audit then I might end up with some special magic or something.

It doesn't work like that.

Hush you.

"Let's just see how he does for now," Gareth said. "If worse comes to worse, I'll just stuff him in a backpack and carry him myself." The dwarf laughed like a foghorn.

Loki smiled. "That is a damn good idea."

"You can't be serious," I told her.

"Give up," Aiz said, shaking her head.

"That solves our problem then," Loki said with a clap of her hands, "Gareth, please arm Thomas with the good stuff, we need him powerleveled through the roof as soon as possible."

"Gladly," the dwarf said. It wasn't reassuring.

With that, Loki adjourned the meeting and the others all said their good nights and went back to their rooms. Save for Gareth whom I was now walking with to the familia's armory. The night time Twilight Manor, the familia base's name, was a sight to behold with its majestic lights all fueled by the magic stones the adventurers retrieved from the dungeon. And it was a total cash cow too, with this place having a monopoly on them, no wonder this place was so coveted by Ares.

"Seems you got roped into joining?" Gareth asked, he had on an easy smile.

"It's alright with me," I said, "Loki was interesting enough."

"I see. And this thing with Loki earlier?" He smirked. Was this a common trait with everyone here? "I heard you and the goddess were… fraternizing." I bet Loki loved spreading rumors herself.

"Not exactly," I said, "I'll just let her share what he wants." Petty vengeance is an age old past time after all.

"A goddess though, Tom." There was reverence behind that tone. "No wonder you got to join the executives so soon."

"I think it was more because of passing the World Boundary that made me so… strange." Loki said that was why I received some of my skills, like it remade me, in a way.

"Aye," Gareth said, "legends do mention that, and with the gods and all, it was only a matter of time."

Ah, resignation, it was a common flavor after all.

We walked out of the hallway and into a veranda with flowers adorning either side, there were streetlamps here, also made of the same magical technology as the chandeliers, probably, but in a different shape. The courtyard too was also just as lively with people still going about their business. It was an unlikely reminder of home, to be so alright with the night.

"And the magic?" Gareth caught me staring at the lamps.

"Beautiful."

He laughed with a gentle roll, like a grandfather with his grandkids. "I suppose you have family?"

"My parents and siblings, yeah."

Gareth nodded. "You close with them, I reckon?"

"Yeah." I breathed out. "I miss them."

"Don't we all?"

We went on with our way, and I didn't bother asking Gareth the question he didn't look like he felt like answering. He was a person just like me, it seemed. One with worries all the same. It didn't take long for us to reach the end of the bridge and into another hallway, this one rougher looking and less decorated than the main building. He led me down the stairs and into a heavyset door, which opened with neither creak or squeak.

"More magic?"

"Nah," he said with a smile, "just good 'ol dwarven expertise."

The doors fully opened and the lights came on, revealing a row of shelves filled with all sorts of doodads. There were pieces of plate armor here and there, swords, knives, spears, and staves of different shapes and colors. There were shields too, and some leather pieces.

"This here's one of the familia's pride, our little vault of treasures." He walked in and went for the leather pieces. "You're free to take what you can use, just don't be greedy." He raised a brow and I replied with a nod.

"Greed would just end up killing me."

#

The following morning, I was woken up by the fresh air that wafted— There was no such thing as fresh air in the city. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling and got up from bed and saw an all too familiar bag. I took a deep breath and rubbed my face with my hands. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't some hallucination. It wasn't some happy fantasy. It was all real.

I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it, the down muffling the sound so well it was surprising. There was no technology based air-conditioning in this world, but the soft blue glow of the magic cooler mounted in my room was the thing that made the air comfortable, it also didn't remove the scent of leaves and earth from the air. It was amazing, to say the least. I also had a mini-fridge, or a small magic cooler I can use to store some food in but all it had was water. Since I didn't own anything yet. Though Loki did promise to share some chocolate.

Loki. Dear god, Loki. Literally. That was… a very strange experience, to flirt so openly with a goddess. Not unwelcome, but definitely unexpected.

I got off the bed, the rich carpet luscious against my toes and made my way to my new closet. I was given an executive's room all to myself just for having this magic and my future value with this familia, and sure there were doubts with how everything just seemed to fall into place, but I'll take what conveniences I could get. I had nothing to my name in this world. Not even the magic that now made itself present in and transformed my body.

The face looking back from the mirror was both me and not me. It was the me reborn from all those years ago when I was much younger and less inured to the world, when everything was so fresh and wonderful. The time before taxes and the ever present reality of death. It was… nostalgic, and disturbing at the same time. It also occurred to me that this Dungeon I was supposed to go to could very well kill me, but, at the end of the day, did it really matter? Live to tell the tale presumes I still had something to go back to?

But I wouldn't let me give up. I wasn't about to just accept this fate, magic or not. My family and all my friends are still back from where I came from, and hallucination or not, I would find a way. I'm not letting this stop me.

Still, this… whatever this is that happened. I don't hate it. But I'm not exactly thankful either. Not for now at least.

I slapped the last winks of sleep away. "Back to the grind, Tom."

I got dressed in the tunic Loki got me and left my bag and other stuff behind, taking only my survival knife with me. Tulley didn't have any laws against carrying knives, hence this pretty little piece of steel I got when we had some surplus left over. If I was gonna kill something, then might as well do it first with the thing I've been meaning to with. Not that I actually ever planned on offing someone. Just the metaphor was good enough.

I hung the knife's holster from the small of my back and put on the leather jacket Gareth gave me. It was some of his older gear, and it looked like a bomber. The dwarf had a good sense of style, and the size of it was just right for my new body. I also put on the boots and greaves he picked out with its matching vambraces. Gareth told me to start with light armor for now and slowly work my way up depending on what was comfortable. I then hung the short sword we picked together by my left hip and the buckler against my back with the leather harness Gareth also told me to keep. And lastly was the helmet, he also made sure to lecture me on keeping one on at all times within the dungeon and complained about the others in the vanguard not wearing one, most especially Aiz and that flimsy headband of hers. Though he did concede on it impeding vision.

Welp, I didn't know jack shit about hunting monsters, so helmet it was. Thankfully though, it was a simple piece, just a metal cap with some metal flaps joined together with leather. My image in the mirror didn't cut a dashing figure like those Final Fantasy heroes, but it did evoke this feeling of adventure. Also, now that I thought about it, I feel like a Monster Hunter… which I technically was right now. Does that mean I could hunt monsters for their body parts?

I went out of my room and made a break for the mess hall, greeting some of the people I got to know last night. Riine, Raul, Rakta, to name a few, they were eating breakfast together, a plate of eggs, bacon, and some greens and bread. Hearty and filling. I joined them for a quick meal and waved at Gareth who came down with Finn and Riveria. It was a happy place and it showed with how easily conversation flowed from one table to another.

"First time to go into the dungeon?" Raul asked with a mouth full of bacon.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," chided Rakta next to him. "Such manners." Her ears drooped. "We should be making a good image as his seniors."

Riine tried placating the bunny girl. "I don't think Thomas minds," she said.

"Yeah, we cool."

The three looked at me all puzzled. "Why would we be cold?" Rakta asked.

Ugh. Right. That's probably why Loki asked before. "Don't mind it," I said. "And yeah, today's my first… umm, adventure?" It sure felt like the right word for it.

Riine smiled. "And with Gareth no less."

"Loki must really have the hots for you," Raul said with a nod.

Speak of the devil herself. Loki grabbed Raul by the shoulders. "And you better make sure nothing bad happens to him."

Raul was half between a victorious smile and a troubled one, and the laughter from the other tables made the scene that much more homey. "So you admit to it then?"

Riine blushed while Rakta's ears perked up at the question, just as all eyes settled on our little group.

Loki simply raised an eyebrow. Then walked over to me and sat on my lap. "He's mine."

I sighed.

#

Loki caused a riot and a half with what she said and it took a good hour or so for the murmurs to die down. Her eating her breakfast while sitting on me didn't help matters calm down either, and it took Gareth a solid effort to pluck me out of the crowding rumormongers. The mess didn't stop there either and it took Finn using this Skill called Command Shout just to get everyone to settle down. It was a disaster. But it was also funny as hell.

"Just please don't wear my jacket if you ever get frisky," Gareth said, "and stay away from my garden."

"Wait, no. Gareth. I'm not like that." Jeebus. What the hell?!

"But Loki is."

"Hmm, kinky."

Gareth groaned.

Our group of five exited the Twilight Manor's grounds and joined with the rest of Orario's foot traffic. Orario was the name of the city the Dungeon was located in, a bustling metropolis and melting pot of cultures the world over as well as the only place with a functioning magic stone industry. Also, thanks to Loki making a scene, Gareth and I were now accompanied by Raul's trio as extra insurance. I mean sure, I was pretty valuable to have this communication magic, but that valuable? Really?

"Gareth," I said, he turned to me. "Is communication magic really that valuable?"

Gareth smiled and put a finger to his lips. "You best not say that out loud, Tom." He winked. "And aye, it is."

Raul and Rakta supported his words with some fervent nods. But it was Riine who explained, "Communication is crucial to Dungeon exploration since there's no other way to do it. Here on the surface we can have runners deliver letters, and we can also do that in the dungeon, but the time to get around or through the monsters and travel the floors is more than double the effort."

"I see."

"And communication spells are also instant," Raul added. "So it allows a familia to send out a rescue in time should their group need it."

"Coo—I mean, I understand." Interesting. "So a portion of the familia stays behind during an expedition?"

We passed the same style of streets as yesterday but I didn't recognize them. Either from not remembering or really being new, I wasn't sure. Maybe the latter. People were looking at our little group, but not with the same scrutiny as yesterday, that much I remembered.

"Sometimes a familia can hire another for a rescue as a quest," Riine said. "These kinds of contractual interactions are quite common, and also extends to procurement for those familias specialized in crafts."

"So there are those who explore and those who produce?"

Riine smiled.

There were some respectful looks thrown Raul and Gareth's way, with Rakta getting a major share from the beastkin populace. It was obvious with the way people's eyes reacted when they noticed, and it was a lot easier to see with the people walking by so close to each other. Or maybe because there were barely any carts here? It was a good thing Loki bothered explaining to me everyone's apparent fame last night before we all met, it really saved me the part of my backstory with everyone else having come from some noble family of ancient messengers or something.

"That's right," Riine said. "Our familia is one who explores and usually takes some sorts of quests when we go to some expedition, while familias like the Dian Cecht or Hephaestus familias use the goods we get to make their medicines or weapons and armor."

"And the guild regulates it all?"

"Aye, as much as they can," Gareth said. "But they're not perfect."

I shrugged. "No such thing as a perfect bureaucracy after all."

"Indeed," Gareth said.

"Sadly," Raul added.

"Speaking of bureaucracies," Riine said, "we just arrived."

She pointed at the building adorned with doric columns in pristine white. It was a marvelous building of marble and detailed sculptures of heroic figures and the classic image of the gods. Fitting for the setting of gods having descended to the moral realm. People walked in and out, some in armor like us, some without. There was also the occasional person in a black and white uniform: the guild employees.

"We'll have to register you first to get your pass," Gareth said, then leaned in. "And no worries on your status, they won't ask too many questions of a first timer."

"Hopefully all goes well."

Riine led the way into the guild office and the inside was just as grand as the outside. The floors were well polished, and the place was spotless. People lined up in orderly queues and the few arguments that broke out in the magic stone exchange area and auctions were settled as soon as they started. The guild held a lot of clout as the ones regulating the magic stone industry, and these adventurers all relied on the guild's continued patronage to support their lucrative lifestyles.

Gareth excused himself to secure me a registration form while Rakta and the others browsed some of the posted quests and—I really should've expected it—monster drops for sale. So yeah, Monster Hunter it was.

Riine chatted up some pink haired guild employee, and not too long after Gareth waved for me to come over.

I went to him and next to the dwarf was an elf, though she didn't have the same noble air around her as Riveria. "Hello," I said.

"Good day Thomas," the bespectacled elf said. "Gareth requested I help you with the registration procedure. You may call me Eina." She gave me a well-practiced smile, professional yet sincere. It meant business, but not so stiff as to be robotic. She reminded me of our lawyers back in the firm.

"Nice to meet you then, Eina," I said, "Shall we?"

She led me to a desk and passed me a form, which was too generous. All it really asked for was a name and familia, and the level was already filled in. I guess they just assumed everyone started from zero at level one, which wasn't wrong per se. Thankfully, my Skill also worked with written information. The interview after was also more a formality, with Eina doing most of the talking after I answered some standard consent and waiver oaths. She made sure to remind me of the Dungeon Exploration guidelines and that I should always stick to the more powerful members of my familia. She then finished with a congratulation for finishing the registration and a good luck with raiding the dungeon.

We shook hands and said our goodbyes, and as I turned to leave, a white-haired boy caught my eye waiting in line. Eina checked something off her clipboard and she received him with the same forms she had me fill out. Busy day.

Gareth met me outside the room. "All good?"

I showed him my copy of the filled-out form. "They said I could get my license in three days but this provisional one can already allow me to enter."

"Good," Gareth said, then gave me a firm look. "Ready?"

I huffed. It was bound to happen sooner or later, better now when I could control how it went down. "Let's"

Gareth slapped me in the back. "Come then!"

It didn't take long to get Riine and the rest back on track since they were already waiting by the exit doors. We picked up some lunch to go at a nearby café and went straight for the huge ass tower in the middle of the city: the so called "Tower of Babel." It made me feel strange since I knew of it from my religion's lore, and also because one of my Skills carried its name. Did that mean then the name was some universal concept? The execution was different though. Whatever.

The guards by the tower entrance checked my form out and okayed me entering. Gareth and the others though got some crisp salutes. Cool.

We went together with the flow of people towards the large staircase leading down. The left side was for those coming in, while the right for those coming out. We went leftwards and descended, the sunlight fading as the windows disappeared from view. Eventually, the lights were replaced with the same magic lamps we had in the manor though different in design.

People talked less and less as we went lower. The bricks in the walls gradually becoming more organic in design until they transitioned into jagged streaks of smoothed out facets. The white lights became green glowing crystals, and the air became much cooler. I expected warm stale air but was surprised with the refreshing temperature. Like I was going down this air-conditioned cellar instead of a magical cave that spawned monsters.

Gareth stopped walking and turned back. "You'll want to be ready, Thomas." He nodded at the sword and shield by my sides. "Monsters will start showing up soon."

The other people we went down with avoided us as they passed, some of them already with their blades and staves and weapons out. Raul and Rakta both took out short swords while Riine readied a small scepter. I guess she used magic then. I wiped my sweaty palms against my pants first before doing the same, taking comfort in the weight in my hands. I held the sword in my right and the shield in my left. It was a well-balanced feel Gareth mentioned was the most important to wielding a blade. I didn't have any experience with handling a weapon so large, but that was also why I got one as close to my survival knife in shape so I had some idea at least.

Besides, stabbing something shouldn't be too hard, right?

We went down the stairs some more, and the steps turned into a gentle slope. I only noticed we were finally in the dungeon proper when some cold wind sent a chill down my back. It reminded me of that first splash of cold air on opening a window in winter, but this one felt like I passed through a film.

"You felt it then?" Gareth asked.

"Felt what?" Riine asked.

"The Dungeon," I said.

"Aye."

I nodded, but Riine just tilted her head. Raul and Rakta also shrugged, then took our flanks.

"You can rest easy Thomas," Gareth said. "The first floor only spawns goblins, and our familia frequents the fiftieth floor down, you'd have to make an honest effort to die under my watch. And Raul there has a number of potions should you need them. Just get used to the feeling for now."

Loki was really pulling out the stops here.

I looked at Raul. "Don't worry," he said, "this is a vacation compared to what I normally have to deal with." His face went through a series of phases before coming back to the present. Some of those didn't look too pleasant.

"You'll be just fine," Riine said.

"Right. Adventure time then!" I psyched myself up and took my first step forward.

It took a minute before I spotted my first ever goblin. Gareth and the others stayed a few steps behind to give me some space. I stepped forward and the goblin turned to face me. It was a small thing, reaching up to only my hip. I was five feet and six inches so this thing couldn't have been taller than a toddler. That was a horrible mental image.

It snarled at me with brown teeth and red eyes, then charged, just about as fast as a toddler would've.

I met its charge with one of my own and bashed it back with my shield. The goblin flinched and fell on its ass and I followed up with a slash for its neck and missed. So, I bashed it again with the shield. It twitched. I stomped on its head and felt the thing give way like a crunchy melon. Blood wet my boots.

It was my first kill. And I felt nothing.

That was… underwhelming.

"That was brutal," Raul said. "It never occurred to me to do that before." He nodded. "Effective though."

Gareth came closer. "How do you feel?"

I sheathed my sword. "Nothing special." I sighed. "Is that common?" I feel like I just killed an animal and was okay with it.

"Each dwarf has his swing," Gareth said. "Don't mind it. How was the sword?"

I grimaced. "I missed, and it felt clunky to use. The shield was easier."

"True," Gareth said, "but if you attack with a shield they you can't defend with it."

I raised a brow at him. Guard Points in Monster Hunter would say otherwise! But… that's in a video game. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Gareth knelt down by the goblin's corpse. "And lad," he said, gesturing me to kneel as well. I did so. "Don't forget to remove the magic crystal inside its body."

"Ah, right. That." Money. Gotcha. I took out my knife. "Where do I cut?"

Gareth looked at my weapon funny. "That's a curious blade there, well made too."

"Ah, yeah, she's beautiful." It was a matte black tanto survival knife. I passed it to him handle first, and Gareth held it with respect.

"It's a good light blade," he said. "You're used to shorter weapons?"

"I'm more confident fighting other people," I said. Self-defense lessons don't usually teach you to attack child-sized opponents.

"Aye." He passed me back my knife the same way I did. "Would you prefer your knife and shield then?"

Rakta tilted her head at me while Raul just shrugged, Riine was too busy serving as a lookout.

"Sure," I said. I then stabbed my knife into the goblin's rib cage and cut up towards its neck, the flesh easily giving way to reveal a small thumbnail sized gleaming gem. I took it with my bear hands, then the entire thing, blood and carcass all dissolved into dust. Neither stain nor nail left behind of the monster. "Well that's convenient."

Gareth chuckled. "Not squeamish either, this is good Thomas. And if you stab a monster through its core you can call them instantly."

I nodded. "But then I'd end up destroying the stone."

"Indeed."

"And that would lower the value of it?"

"Aye." Gareth smiled. "You pick up well."

"Thanks," I said.

"Come on then," Gareth said, standing up. "One goblin won't even come close to serving as an Achievement."

I stood too, and took off the short sword by my waist, passing it to him. Wait. Gareth didn't bring any weapons at all. Was he a bare fist fighter then? I kinda pictured him with an axe though. Oh well, fantastic racism wouldn't do me any good here. Probably. "I'll try my knife for a bit."

"Aye," Gareth said, "and I'll borrow this here sword for a while."

Our group moved forward and met three goblins by a fork. The four of them stayed back to give me space. I stepped up and met the challenge. Three targets meant three sources of damage to take down. I could probably incapacitate one with a charge or maybe even stagger them all. Risky though if they're able to stop me. Then again, it's not like they have any blades on them to stab me with, and the earlier goblin's teeth were jagged but not sharp enough to slice flesh, tear maybe, but not chomp clean off.

"Let's do this," I said, and charged forward with my shield at the ready.

The three goblins turned as one and ran for me as they stood, not caring to prevent getting in each other's way.

I then changed the orientation of my shield to hit the first one square across its chest with the edge and continued to plow through the other two, then grabbed the last one's head from behind and slit its throat, though I cut too deep and nearly beheaded it instead. One less to worry about at least.

The first one I hit wasn't getting up, but the middle goblin was already charging for me again. Curious, I stood my ground and tanked its tackle. It couldn't even push me. I sheathed my knife and grabbed its scrambling hand, then pushed it into the wall with my shield and pulled hard against its limb. The little green arm gave out without much resistance, and I pushed the goblin further against the wall until its resistance gave away.

Blood trailed from the dungeon's walls and only then did I let go.

I wasn't winded at all. And all that exertion was for nothing. I then slit the thing's throat to be sure before coming back to the first goblin I downed and also slit its throat. Was I strong or were these things just that weak? Perhaps my Status was just that good?

The four came over.

"Is this going to be a regular thing?" Rakta said with distaste. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"I'm not sure if I'm doing well," I said, and quickly carved out the stones from the three to dispel the bloodshed.

"You are," Raul said.

I looked at Gareth. "Aye, let's keep going."

"I think I'll stick to my shield and knife, it feels most natural like this."

Gareth nodded.

We met a group of two goblins, the four stayed back. I body slammed the two creatures, then quickly set myself up to restrain one with my knee on its belly and the other I sliced through its throat. The one beneath I then crushed to death. Monster blood disappearing after I take out their stones was really convenient. They also don't leave behind any weird smells.

The next groups of goblins I tried whatever I could, some I strangled, some I stomped, some I stabbed, some I twisted into unnatural angles. It was cruel to say the least, but I needed to learn my limits. The next one I then lifted and used like a club to beat its fellow goblins with. And after I collected their stones Gareth asked me if I wanted to continue to the second floor.

I had no reason to refuse so we went. Rakta though looked much better than when we first started, though I guess her ears covering her eyes whenever I went to fight might've helped. I didn't know she could use them like that. Raul though was just really curious as to what else I would try, even giving his own suggestions. Death by quartering was his suggestion, and that killed the goblin after an arm and a leg.

The second floor's crystal lights were of a lighter blue with the walls taking on hexagonal patterns. Kobolds also started spawning here.

I met a group of three Kobolds for my first fight. The kobolds charged together, taking their positions into account so they didn't get in each other's way. That was quite a jump from the goblins. I stood my ground and slapped the first kobold to reach me with my shield, flinging it into the left wall. I jumped back to open some space then blocked the next one's sight with my shield before stabbing it in the gut with a backhand grip, and disemboweling it with a rend. Stabbing the kobold felt a lot like stabbing a cushion, their insides didn't resist much, the same went for the goblins.

As the second kobold bled out, the last kobold stopped in its tracks.

I stopped too.

The one by the wall lunged for me and I let it take a face full of shield, slamming its body against the wall again and pinning it in place with all my weight. Kobolds were only slightly larger than goblins after all. It kept struggling against the pressure but eventually stopped once blood pooled by my feet.

The last kobold turned tail but I gave chase and tackled it to the floor, stabbing it in the back multiple times until it stopped.

I collected the stones after and was freed from the bloodbath.

"Kobolds give you trouble?" Gareth asked.

"They were coordinating to some extent, more resilient too."

"As long as you're careful," Gareth added.

I went back to hunting, trying the same methods with the kobolds as I did with the goblins, and surprising was how well the kobolds responded to have their snouts punched. They were ferocious until they got hit there, after which they'd turn into quivering wrecks too panicky to even fight back. Seeing how the monsters weren't spawning while I was fighting, or perhaps Gareth and company were taking care of it, I mounted the last kobold in the group and just punched away at its face until it died. It took ten hits to its head until it stopped struggling.

"It's gotten easier," I said. "Is that how Statuses work?"

"Perhaps," Gareth said, stroking his beard. "The third floor then?"

"If it's alright, then yes please."

Before we went down we had lunch first and a quick rest, but I still wasn't even the least bit tired. This was magic. And it felt… disorienting, like my body wasn't my own. It moved however I wanted it though, so that was pretty amazing.

Thomas, how are you doing?

Hey Loki, I'm doing alright, we're headed down to the third floor. Goblins and kobolds were too easy and I couldn't get a proper feel of my body.

Really? Interesting. Just don't push yourself too hard, alright?

I'm trying actually, better to find out during a controlled experiment than during a live operation.

"Thomas?" Riine asked.

"Sorry," I said, "was just talking to Loki. I'll be sure to let you guys know in the future the next time I do."

Just don't get yourself killed, okay? Loki out.

See you soon, Loki. "I'm done talking with her now, she was just checking up on us."

The third floor had Dungeon Lizards that were just larger than normal monitor lizards. They didn't do much besides charge and use their tail like a whip, and the few times they take a bite they're easily countered with a shield bash. And once they're dazed, its not too hard to stab them through the head. We had a small pouch of magic crystals from all the killing, and in an effort to tire me out, Gareth had Riine start collecting the stones for us while I was told to simply focus on killing.

With the bash and stab combo though, the lizards fell like flies.

Deeper into the third floor, combinations of goblins, kobolds, and lizards started appearing. And the best way to deal with them was to use a goblin as a makeshift weapon or to punch the snouts of the kobolds if there were no goblins, then take care of the lizards first since they were less predictable with their tails. The fights including goblins were the easiest since I got a good club for free and I could just smash everyone's faces in with the corpse.

When we reached the fourth floor's entrance, only then did I start getting tired.

And still we pushed through, the monsters were the same as the end of the third floor, coming up with combinations of the first three monsters but with up to six members max compared to the four before. Half-way through the floor, was when I finally pooped out, but a quick rest let me keep going for another four encounters until I first thought to call it quits. Another quick rest and the sight of the small but filled pouch gave me renewed strength and I lasted for another five encounters before I really called it done for the day. I stopped counting the monsters I'd killed once Gareth had Riine collect the stones.

Raul and Rakta faithfully stood guard to make sure no new monsters ambushed me, but granted I fought everything we encountered today, I'd say it wasn't too bad of a first day. When went back up to the surface with Raul needing to support my sorry ass. I guess the fatigue just caught up only now. It was a good kind of tired though, just really bloody.

We stopped by the guild to exchange the crystals and got a whopping twelve thousand and six hundred Valis for all I did. Raul whistled at the figure, and from that I guess I didn't do too badly.

After that we went back to the manor for a quick shower and met up with everyone at this restaurant called the Hostess of Fertility, it was Loki's favorite place and the familia's usual hangout after an expedition. Today was to celebrate them coming back from their last trip three days ago as well as my joining. Everything went swimmingly until Loki started getting people drunk, the worst of which was Bete who made a big fuss of coming onto Aiz. That and yapping about their fuck up of letting those minotaurs escape them from the seventeenth floor and almost killing that white-haired kid.

Someone ran from the restaurant then, which made a waitress chase after the dine and dasher, but Aiz also noticed something. With the mood partly ruined, Bete was forcefully restrained and turned into a piñata for everyone's peace of mind, and the night ended on a strange note.

We all went home buzzed, making merry till we entered the manor as the day closed with a satisfying silence.

Chapter 1

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