"What do you want?" Muria said as she stared at me with a cold and annoyed look in her eyes.
I could feel the awkwardness of the situation climbing up my back as she stared at me with her arms crossed while she leaned against the door, inquiring me about my intentions for visiting. It was an awful feeling that I was experiencing, one that made me want to dig a hole in the ground and just disappear from the world completely due to how awkward it was. However, I know that there's no escape for me at the moment and that I must endure this.
"G-good evening," I finally said after a brief moment of awkward and tense eye contact.
"..." She frowned, and those icy blue eyes of her's seemed to pierce into my soul. "If you don't have any good reason to be here then goodbye."
She took a step back and reached her hand for the door handle. She was about to close the door on me and I know for a fact that if I miss this opportunity, I wouldn't have a second chance. If I wanted to complete this mission, then to hell with all that self pride. I reached a hand to the door, blocking her from closing it. However, this motion brought me closer to her and ended up with my foot in her room.
She glanced down at the foreign invader and looked up, glaring at me. In those eyes of her's I could sense a great annoyance as I threatened to invade her privacy for no apparent reason. She tried to pull the door closed once again, but being a girl, her strength was unmatched with mine. Therefore, we were stuck in a stalemate with both of us standing at the door.
I kept my head low, trying to hide my wavering countenance from her. I should've prepared myself better for this. Probably think of an excuse before coming here. However, if I waited any longer, then I'll have to come by at a time when guys are forbidden from the girls' area.
What should I do?
"Hey you wanna go out for some food?"
I heard some girls approaching and quickly glanced in that direction. It would appear that they had yet to round the corner since they were still no where to be seen. However, they were close since I could hear the sound of their footsteps approaching. Then, my eyes darted back to Muria, who appeared to be also aware of the incoming group of girls.With a sigh, she took a step back from the door.
"Come in," she said while maintaining that same cold countenance on her face.
Upon entering, I was immediately met with a pleasant aroma. However, the smell was the only reminder that I was in a girl's room since the layout of the room and furniture was the exact same as my room except for the fact that instead of three beds there were only two. The inside of the room was dark, leading me to assume that Muria was probably about to go to sleep. However, because of my presence, she flicked on the switch for the light, allowing the room to be once again illuminated but with a pretty dim light.
"Why're you here?" she asked once again, staring at me with great caution. There seemed to be a powerful aura that she exerted, one that seemed to warn me that if I tried anything weird, I would be finished for. However, I didn't understand in what way because physically, she was inferior to me in strength.
"I uh..." I was once again dumbfounded by that inquisition of her's since I had not prepared a reason for my visit. Therefore, I must improvise and come up with something on the spot. "I wanted to see if everything's fine on your end..."
WTF did I just say... That's just straight up retarded BS.
I glanced over at Muria's face and saw that she was standing there with a look of disbelief that was also mixed with disgust on her face. She walked over to her bed, picked up a jacket, and brought it over her so that her shoulders were covered up.
She must think I'm here to do something to her...
"Now that you've seen that I'm doing good," she said, walking over to the closed door. "When these people leave, you can leave as well."
"B-but," I said awkwardly while pointing over at the digital clock. "It's past 11 P.M."
Muria looked over at the digital clock and saw the time herself. Indeed, the time that was displayed 11:05. On her face was an annoyed look probably because she knew that if she were to try and get me out of her room, it would be a great hassle to do. In addition, she also runs the risk of getting into trouble if someone were to report me because I was in her room during this time.
"You calculated this?" She said as she looked over at me with great caution in her eyes as she brought both hands over her chest in a protective stance.
"No," I sighed, knowing that I was at least safe from getting kicked out.
I know what I did is weird and most be extremely frightening to her. Why would a guy come knock on a girl's door and try to enter late at night? There's only those few possible intentions from the guy, and almost all of them are bad and could even result in jail time.
Muria then continued to observe me with a frown on her face. Then, she looked over at the closed door and back at me. With a sigh, she walked over to her bed with crossed arms, sat down, and crossed her legs. I didn't know if she knew it or not but when she crossed her legs, her beautiful white thighs were visible
"Stop standing around," she sighed. "Sit down."
Wait what? I thought as I simply stared at her in surprise. I was blushing as my heart pounded in my chest. Sit down?
I slowly took a step over to her bed, which drew a rather confused look from her. Then, I sat down next to her.
"What are you doing?" I heard her say in an angered voice. "Not on my bed. In that chair over there."
I immediately got up and quickly made my way over to the chair by the small round coffee table. My heart was racing as my face turned red from embarrassment.
She most definitely must think I'm here with an ulterior motive... I thought as I rigidly took a seat.
"Since it's late and your not allowed to be on this floor," she sighed. "But if you were to leave now that'll bring trouble to both Irina and I."
"Sorry..." I apologized, my voice losing its power as I know that I was in the wrong.
"You'll have to leave first thing next morning," she shook her head in disbelief.
"..." I couldn't say anything. The only thing I could do was nothing as my body remained tense to maintain that ashamed pose that I had while sitting down on that chair. There was then a prolonged period of silence between us as Muria sat there on her bed without saying anything as well. In addition, she seemed to appear quite uneasy as she shifted about quite a bit.
So what next? What else do I do from now on? My mission wanted me to stay the night, so I think that's all I had to do. So I simply just sit here until the next morning and I think I should be good.
"So how was your day?" I began speaking in order to alleviate the tense atmosphere that made it difficult for me to breath.
"Alright," she responded with a one-word answer.
"Where's Irina?"
"She's out with other girls right now,"
"Right..."
I shifted uncomfortably around in my chair as the awkward silence continued after that conversation ended. It was extremely weird and uncomfortable for me being in a room alone with Muria. When I glanced over at her, I saw her just merely staring into the empty air before her as she, too, was unsure of what to do.
She had probably wanted to go to bed judging by the fact that her she was dressed in her nightgown. However, my sudden unannounced presence altered with her schedule. With my presence, it was understandable that she's unable to fall asleep. Therefore, the two of us simply sat there with nothing to do.
Before long, I realized that I was staring at her for a prolonged period of time. I noticed that her hair was still slightly damp, probably because she had showered sometime before I had arrived knocking at her door. In addition, I discovered that her eyes were darting about between me and the empty space before her. She must be feeling quite uneasy as well with this silence.
I then looked around the room in search of something that might make the awkward situation somewhat less tense. That was when my eyes landed on the television remote that was laying by the bedside table in between the two beds. I got up from my chair which startled Muria, but I ignored her and proceeded to walk between the two beds and grabbed the remote control. Then, I pressed a button and turned the television on.
The television being turned on seemed to bring with it an alleviation of the tense atmosphere in the room. Therefore, I let out a sigh of relief as I sat back down in my chair and began navigating through the menu that was being displayed on the television screen.
The television appeared to be hooked up to a television box since there were options to watch movies and some old shows as well as live television stations. I started navigating the menu, trying to find something to watch that would alleviate the tension. From the corner of my eye, I saw that Muria was also focused on the television screen. Therefore, I believe my plan to soothe the awkwardness seemed to have started working.
I then started getting carried away as I moved through the menu with the remote control. However, I wasn't really sure what to watch. Therefore, it was a long process as I moved through every page in search of something to watch. I noticed that there was an adult movie section available, but being the smart boy that I am, I avoided it. Instead, I looked around in the regular shows section.
I had difficulty deciding on what to watch, which led to the two of us staring at the menu on the television screen for about ten minutes. This seemed to have irritated Muria somewhat for I saw an annoyed frown on her face. Therefore, I must click on something fast in order to please her. But what do we watch?
I then noticed that on the menu, there was an option to continue watching what was last viewed. If it's what was last watched, then it must be a safe option. With that reasoning in mind, I clicked on it.
What was then played... it wasn't good. I was surprised by the loud moaning of a naked girl as a large object was being rapidly moved around in her vagina. The screen was a close up of her wet vagina as her bodily fluids reeked out at a surprising pace.
My face immediately turned red as I brought my legs together as I sat in order to contain a physical reaction. Then, while still in shock, I slowly turned my head over to face Muria. She appeared to be surprised by what was being played since her face lost its former cool and was of a crimson color. After staring at her with my mouth wide in disbelief for a bit, she noticed me and immediately started shaking her head and her arms before her in denial.
"It's... Irina?" I asked, my voice trailing off in the end from shock.
"None of us turned the television on," she hastily explained to me. "We never watched this. Besides, can you turn it off?"
"Oh right..." I immediately exited out of the porno that was being played.
Then, the two of us sat there in an awkward silence as we both had our head down.
"So um... girl's watch this stuff too?" I said with a trembling voice.
"No!" Muria explained once again. "We never turned the television on."
I frowned as I looked over at her, doubting their sincerity. However, I then navigated to the watch history on the television to scour for further proof.
"The watch history should tell us everything..." I said.
I looked over at her before I clicked the button to enter the watch history section of the menu. Her face was still red from earlier and on her face was also a tense countenance. I believe it wasn't her that watched that porno. So a possible suspect is Irina. I then recalled the scene that was being played earlier and found it hard to believe that she would watch something like that. Irina is just to innocent to be watching that... Unless... unless she's actually extremely lustful in private?
I then clicked on the button in order to pull up the watch history. Then, both Muria and I let out a sigh of relief as the date that the porno was watched was before the school had the trip. I then glanced over at her and observed her relaxed body posture. She must've been extremely worried as well about what type of person Irina was... Even though she doesn't say it, I can tell that she views Irina as a true friend already...
With that incident with the television porno being in the past, we still did not decide on a movie to watch. I continued to hold the remote in my hand, flipping through the different pages and options displayed on the television in search of something to watch. I felt somewhat fatigued at the moment after what had happened so I allowed myself to relax and slouch down on the chair that I sat in. However, Muria's posture was still like before where she sat on the edge of her bed with both feet touching the floor.
The search continued for a bit longer in the silent room with the only audible sound being the soft humming of the air conditioner as it pumped warm air into the room so that the temperature was maintained at a comfortable one. Currently, it was a bit on the warmer side, and because of this temperature, it made me quite drowsy.
I yawned and continued to stare at the television screen with my pair of dry eyes. My eyes scanned the various images of the different movies until my attention was caught by a particular image. It was an extremely familiar image, one that involved memories that I shared with Muria. I glanced over at Muria and discovered that she was also staring at the movie poster that was on the corner of the monitor.
I stared at the image for a bit longer, pausing my selection process and thinking whether or not I should just choose this movie to watch. Muria seed to have noticed my static state since she glanced over at me for a few seconds before returning her gaze back to the television.
I mean I didn't pay much attention the first time I watched it... You know what? I asked myself. Why not?
I then navigated over to that image and pressed the button on the remote to play the movie. I heard a soft gasp from Muria, and when I looked over at her, she was staring at the television screen in surprise. She then slowly looked over at me, and on her face was a look that was as if she wasn't expecting me to choose this movie.
"What?" I frowned uncomfortably as she stared at me with wide eyes of surprise.
"...Nothing."
She then looked away and then focused her gaze on the television screen. On her face I discovered a content smile as her countenance relaxed as she lowered her guard. Seeing her like this actually made me quite happy since I no longer need to endure that awkward atmosphere.
With the movie being decided and Muria starting to relax, I saw her move further up her bed until she was near the head of it. Then, she grabbed her pillow and propped it up against the headboard and sat down with her knees bent so that her thighs were close to her chest. I immediately looked away, blushing after her current pose seemed to expose the entirety of her thighs to my naked eye.
Pay some more attention, I muttered to myself in my mind. You're not in the room alone.
With my face still somewhat red from seeing her thighs, I looked towards the television screen. On the monitor was that same movie that I had saw with Muria in the summer time. Man does it bring back memories.
The movie played on for a bit more, and then a familiar looking character appeared. It was that same dog character that Luna had bought the stuffed animal for as a gift for Muria. Then, the memories that was brought back to me became one of bitterness.
The colorful and cute images on the television screen no longer appeared wholesome to me. Rather, it was as if the movie itself had its colors gradually fade as the colors became extremely bland to my eyes. No longer was I able to focus on the plot of the movie, and instead, all I could think about is that conversation with Luna.
She... laughed, I recalled. To the point that she cried.
I could still hear that laughter in my head as I played back the memory. However, I noticed something odd.
Did she laugh before she cried or did she cry before she laughed?
That was something that proved extremely bothersome to me as it captivated the entirety of my attention. My eyes were no longer perceiving what was occurring in the physical world as I brought myself into my mind and relived the memories. A mysterious sourness seemed to swell up in my chest whenever I recall that look of loneliness on Luna's face when she talked about her possibility of not making it until the end of the year.
What is she thinking about? I asked myself. Knowing that she'll die soon... Does she ever have bad dreams?
It would appear that the air conditioner had stopped running as the temperature began dropping. I felt a mysterious chill running through my body, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the temperature or if it was because of the sad emotions that was filling up my mind.
I felt helpless. I know that Luna will eventually die and there's nothing that I can do. This feeling pained me as I cannot imagine a world where that friendly and inviting smile would no longer exist. I looked out the window and at the nighttime sky. I cannot imagine a world where the moon no longer exist.
I looked up from my melancholy, searching around the room for a source of comfort. Whenever I'm faced with such painful and tormenting melancholy, I discover myself seeking the companionship of someone else. The only person in the room with me at the moment is Muria, so I looked over in her direction.
She was focused on the movie that was being played. Her eyes seemed to be glued to the television monitor as the movie played before her. It interested me how she could still be so absorbed by the film despite the fact that she's seen it in the past, but... I'm really not in the mood to seek an answer to that question. Rather, I felt the overwhelming oppression of loneliness.
Before learning of Luna's fate, I was never bothered by this loneliness. I was never afraid of the dark. But now... whenever I'm alone or in the darkness, my mind couldn't help but wander to that sealed off corner where I stored the information about Luna's inevitable end. When that does happen, my mind would then be plagued by melancholy as the agonizing sensation of that sadness swell up inside me like cancer and devour me whole until I am nothing but a walking vessel filled with sadness.
Someone... is someone there...
I wanted to cry out but I could not. I brought my feet up on the chair so that I could hug my knees closer to my body.
It's so cold... It's so cold here...
I desperately tried to retain whatever warmth I had, but it was as if there was a hole in me and the warmth would just spill out at an uncontrollable speed. I desperately missed Loriana's presence, knowing that if it was her, she would definitely notice my pain and come by to comfort me. If only she was here, then I wouldn't have to suffer like this.
"Are you alright?" a soothing voice said to me.
I looked up and saw the one person that I had never expected to show me such sympathy. On Muria's face was a worried countenance as she gazed in my direction and away from the television screen. As I basked in her gaze, I felt a mysterious calming effect that probably stemmed from the fact that she actually noticed my suffering.
"Y-yeah," I responded, trying my best to return to my original state. "Just kinda cold."
"You need the temperature set higher?" she asked.
"No," I shook my head. "I'm fine now."
She continued to observe me for a few more seconds, and in those few seconds, I felt a soothing warmth that seemed to stemmed from my chest and spread throughout my body. I felt as if her gaze had a cleansing effect on me, curing me of my cancer and restoring me to who I was before. Even when she redirected her gaze to the television screen, that warmth lingered about in my body, eliciting a relaxed smile on my face.
Then, I too directed my attention to the television screen. It was a pretty good movie to be honest, with a decent plot and everything. However, the visuals were just too childish for my liking. However, it seemed to have please Muria since she still kept her eyes glued onto the television screen. In addition, whenever a particularly cute character were to show up, her face would light up in one of the most adorable ways possible as a smile appeared on her face. When that character would disappear from the screen, her face would then return to its serious state. Actually, it was almost more entertaining to watch her than the movie itself.
About an hour into the movie, there came a soft beep by the door as it was unlocked. Then, the door slowly opened, revealing Irina who was still dressed in her own outfit. It would appear that she had changed out of her school uniform for a more fashionable jacket and skirt before leaving to have fun with the other girls.
"Muria," she said as she entered. She hasn't noticed me yet. "You're still not asle— What?!" She exclaimed as her eyes met mine. "W-why's Alevian here?!"
On her face was a look of surprise as she stared at me with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Then, she took a few more steps into the hotel room and looked over at Muria in search of an answer.
"Now," Muria smiled coldly as she looked over at me. "Why is he here?"
She had directed the responsibility of the situation over to me, which I guess is reasonable. However, that still doesn't mean it's a good feeling to take the responsibility and answer that question. To be honest, I still don't know what's the right answer.
Calm down, I thought as the silence in the room continued. Both their eyes were focused on me, so I must come up with a good answer. Just follow your heart...
"I..." I started speaking. "I got a bit lonely." I said, smiling awkwardly.
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