Chapter 4: My Decision
I couldn't sleep well, I woke up at different times. Dreaming different dreams... One about myself, another about Jose, and one about Miguel. It all seemed strange to me. Then, at that time, every 4 o'clock. I had that nightmare, where my past was getting at me. I didn't understand why, but this time I felt like it was telling me something. I didn't know what it was, I woke up the girls and my brother. We all got ready for school, dropped off my brother. I entered Cress middle school, I seen Jose, and Miguel the two who I had these feelings for. Then, I finally figured out what the nightmare was telling me. *~You decide, decide who you want to be with, how you want to live your life. Who is going to be there~* I suddenly went up to Jose and me and him talked. We talked about usual stuff. I seemed to be uncomfortable around him. This was the first time I realized it. In 1st and 2nd period, I wasn't paying attention in class, I didn't listen to the lecture or the lesson that Mrs. Harwin had for us. I had a lot of other things on my mind. I seemed confused and these emotions I felt, I didn't know what to do. Then, 3rd period came, as always, we didn't have to do anything except walk the track and hang out. I saw Miguel, he was with his friends. My heart was racing, I didn't know what was happening. I thought I loved Jose, I mean, I liked him since towards the ending of 7th grade. ~Was it just a one time fling~ I felt selfish, terrible, and I didn't know what to do. Me and Miguel just recently talked, he left to go back with his ex. I shouldn't have felt these emotions towards him. Until when I thought of what we have been talking about. We talked about ourselves our true self's. I wanted to cry, I didn't understand why. No one except Angie knows, I only told her more of how I feel then anyone else. And yet I felt comfortable telling Miguel, I didn't tell Jose none of these different sides of me. I felt embarrassed, I've always felt embarrassed around Jose. Now I know what to do. This time, Miguel didn't go up to me, and we didn't talk. I felt kind of sad, ~Was it just a lie, did I get played with~ I felt sad. I didn't know why, but the period was at it's ending until...
"Jenny, I need to tell you something," Miguel called me, with his face blushing.
"Miguel, class is about to start. Your lucky I am your friend," I joked around.
"What is it that you need to tell me," I said glancing at him blushing a bit.
"I want to be more than friends. I had feelings for you back in 7th grade. When I broke it off with Samantha, I have been wanting to tell you that I wanted to go out with you, that I liked you. Until, I heard that you were dating someone else. I thought you didn't feel the same way. Then, 8th grade started and you were not dating anyone. I didn't want to lose my chance this time. I understand if you say no, this is all of a sudden, and that you like Jose. I don't want to hold it in any longer. Will you be my girlfriend, Jenny," He said looking at me in my eyes.
I was shocked, happy, and I was blushing. I couldn't believe he actually said that, Jose just handed me a paper and walked off. That's when I realize a lot of things. I started thinking about my future, and how it would be like. Miguel already knows a little more about me like Angie.
"Miguel, I don't understand these feelings, I thought I liked Jose, but for some reason I have this feeling for you. A special feeling I thought I had for Jose. I told you I liked you before too. Yes, I would like to be your girlfriend," I said blushing and smiling at him.
We looked at each other again for a long time. It felt like we were somewhere else, I didn't hear or felt anything.
"Jenny, come on we have to go. The bell just ringed we are going to get tarded," Angie said while pulling me away.
I looked at him as we left.
"Bye Miguel, I hope you won't get into trouble," I shouted out to him.
I turned away and I felt happy, I felt like I was finally going to have a healthy and sweet relationship. I also had another feeling, that there's going to be trouble along the way. That I won't have the time to breath, will I be able to control this... How am I going to survive this?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was lunch time, time flyed by fast. People were already coming up to me saying,
"Are you dating Miguel?" People said without having a care in the world for me. I replied saying "yes", I was smiling and was blushing a little in front of them. Then, the hard part came, I saw Jose. He saw me, he looked away then he came into my direction. He grabbed my hand, pulled me and we went somewhere else. I see Miguel in the corner of my eye, he looked at us. I felt nervous, and shy. I didn't want Miguel to think anything bad.
"Are you dating that guy named Miguel. I thought that you liked me. Jenny, why are you dating him? You knew that I liked you too. I thought I knew you felt the same way towards me. I guess I'm really stupid to believe it," He said looking down, having one hand beside me on the wall.
"I'm sorry Jose. I did liked you until, yesterday, something happened. I can't explain it to you. I really am sorry Jose, this wasn't suppose to happen like this. I still hope we can be friends. I can understand if you don't want to be," I said looking down and glancing at him.
My heart beated fast, this was bad. I had to leave. Then, Jose grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I felt bad, this wasn't suppose to happen. I tried to release myself but he pulled me in harder.
"Jose, stop please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that this happened but it is how it is," I said crying a little by little.
I almost put my arms around him to, me and him never hugged, I wished for this to happen before. Now, I don't want this. I pulled up my arms and released myself. I ran to the bathroom. No one was with me, I felt lonely. I had to hold it in. •~Miguel~• I went back outside and I didn't see Miguel. The bell rang, I went walking back to class, alone. I see Jose entering, and I look to my right and I see Miguel. I smiled, and I felt that strange feeling again. I felt at ease, he smiled back. The day was at an end, I walked back home. I tried to sleep, I felt exhausted and I suddenly had bad feeling in my gut. I felt scared.
Did I choose right? Am I going to hurt others around me? I had many questions to myself, I didn't know that love could be this hard. It wasn't even the next day that things started happening. Just that the following day would be worse.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Mlxnhx
Mlxnhx I hope this chapter is understandable. Thank you for having the time in your life's in reading this. Merry Christmas Eve everyone ??
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