/ Fantasy / Apocalypse Emperor and ap system
Apocalypse Emperor and ap system
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Synopsis
**ch4 edit is in vol 0, please review it in its comments **
Jack an unfortunate man on earth, he was orphans that lose his adopted family that didn't like him lately, now he is 22 years old, his look at his iPhone that looks like it's hacked but is that really case?
-- Power
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-- Power
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- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
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I like the foundation of the story. The characters need to be fleshed out a little more, also the system seems to be a little lacking. There are a lot of system story out there yours is kind of bland. Also for English not being your first language you are doing great,but I would recommend getting a editor to correct some of the common grammar errors it kind ruins the flow of the story.
This book keeps getting better and better I can’t wait tell the next chapter comes out And I hope that you will write back to me so I can know when you’re next chapter is coming out