Chapter 39: May-December | Chapter Nine
The rest of the ride was silent apart from when Kyle had to ask where exactly Chaska lived. It was a little apartment in a small complex nestled in the town center. Kyle had pulled the car to a stop right in front of it, and Chaska had stared out into the night with a blank look on his face.
Kyle's heart was racing. If Chaska didn't step out fast, he might lose his cool and start sniffling. The man's words that tore into him like a blade, but Chaska didn't seem to realize the effect of his standoffish words.
"Aren't you getting down?" Kyle managed to ask through his ragged breathing. Chaska turned to look at him before turning his attention back to the window on his side.
"I don't know," Chaska replied, letting out a little sigh as he ran his fingers down the gym bag he had pulled up to his lap somewhere along the way. "Things feel tense. Did I do something?" he asked, making the blood drain out of Kyle's face.
Did he do something?
Does he really have no idea? Kyle wondered. The blond opened his mouth to say something, but he could only manage a sigh. He took his hands off the steering wheel, running his fingers through his hair as he looked out into the neighborhood.
"I'll be honest and say yes," Kyle said, turning to look at Chaska. "But you can't really tell me you don't know what you did, can you?" Kyle asked, raising a brow at Chaska who had turned to face him. The man was looking at him with a confused frown. He really didn't seem to know what he had done. Kyle was starting to think he was just sensitive.
"You know what? Forget I said anything," he found himself rambling as he looked away from Chaska. "I was probably over-reading things." He did that sometimes. It wasn't beyond speculation that he did that here too.
"Can you tell me what I did?" Chaska asked, ignoring Kyle. Chaska went quiet, his eyelids lowering as he stared down at Kyle's lap.
"Why do you act like I'm bothering you when I do or say anything that's dating-related?" Kyle asked. "Back in the farm you just told me 'sure' when I asked if you could try dating. When I texted you, asking if you got back safe you just replied, 'I did', and back in the parking lot you said it was a date if I wanted it to be one. I don't know if I'm reading things right, but do you even want to do any of this? Should we just pretend I never said anything back in Brook's farm?" Kyle could feel his heart rate pique up as the words left his lips. He wasn't sure how Chaska would react. He was too afraid to look to his side and see.
"Oh."
Oh? Is that it? Kyle wondered, feeling both confused and upset.
"It has nothing to do with you. I just get a little overwhelmed, is all," Chaska said. Kyle finally found the courage to look over at him. The man had his hands folded on top of his gym bag. His face was blank, and his mouth slightly parted as if he was waiting for words to come out. "To be honest I feel kind of numb. Nothing's really worked out for me relationship-wise, so you can say I'm trying not to be too optimistic," he said as his eyes flickered from his hands on his bag to Kyle, and then back to his bag again. He brought his thumb to his mouth, nibbling at the nail as he looked out of the car's window in the direction of the apartment complex.
"Hey, do you want to meet my cats?" he asked, turning to face Kyle. Kyle frowned a bit, not knowing what to say to that. The blond had noticed Chaska's habit of changing the course of a discussion if things got too uncomfortable. Why else would he bring up his cats? Kyle wished the man wouldn't leave him with puzzle pieces instead of full pictures. It just made him seem more complex. More out of reach.
"S-sure," he ended up stuttering. A smile played on Chaska's lips as he got out of the car. Kyle got out too, locking the car before following Chaska into the apartment complex. They walked up the narrow staircase, stopping on the third floor. Kyle watched Chaska fish for his key in the pocket, and he walked in after him when the man managed to unlock the door and pull it open.
The apartment was a little place. The kitchen and living room were in the same area, only separated by the color of the tiles. Kyle noticed a cat curled up on the long sofa, and he spotted another under the center table.
He jumped a bit, bumping into Chaska when there was a loud meow beside him. Chaska laughed, walking past him to pick up the white Persian cat.
"Hello," Chaska said, kissing the thing's head. The cat yawned, stretching its legs and closing its eyes. Chaska was smiling—it was so bright that it confused Kyle for a bit. He had never seen the man that happy. Kyle noticed that the other two cats were awake now. He could spot a set of green eyes contrasting with the dark fur under the table, and the cat on the sofa had gotten up, stretching their dark paws paired with a white slick coat.
"This is Beau," Chaska said, making Kyle look at the cat in his hands. "That's Oscar under the table and the Siamese cat on the sofa is Sofia," Chaska continued. Kyle snorted, making the younger man give him a puzzled look. Chaska shook his head, waving his laugh off. There was nothing funny per se, it just seemed like Chaska was introducing his children to him.
The young man walked towards the sofa, settling down beside the cat he had called Sofia. Kyle followed suit, taking the seat across from him. They sat in silence for a while. Chaska's cats had gathered around him, resting against him and purring.
"Otis would love this," Kyle said, breaking the silence.
Chaska turned to Kyle with a smile. "Yeah, I guess he would."
"You know, when I drive him to school, he'll press his face on the car's window to look at the horses." Kyle was rambling now. He didn't want the room to go quiet again. "He's always talking about riding them. I don't think he could. He would fall over."
"He could ride a pony. I know someone who has a few in their farm," Chaska responded, making Kyle nod.
"Ah, he'd love that."
"Yes, I guess he would."
Despite Kyle's attempts, pin-drop silence ensued. It was around nine in the night now. Otis was probably in bed. Kyle looked around, noting how empty the place looked apart from a few pieces of furniture. His mother's run-down place looked like a castle compared to Chaska's small apartment.
"You know, I'm not sure what to do," Kyle blurted, looking over to Chaska.
The younger man had a blank look on his face as he rubbed the Persian cat's fur. "What do you mean?" he asked, making Kyle shrug before letting out a sigh.
"Where to go from here—" he paused, looking over at the front door. "The whole dating thing. How do I know when I'm making progress? How do I know when I'm supposed to make a move?" he continued, making Chaska cast his gaze to the ground. His cats were fast asleep again, and they looked like little pillows pressed against his thighs.
"Do things at your own pace—"
"You're doing it again," Kyle butt in, cutting Chaska off. "You're making it seem like you're not interested."
"I'm interested."
Well, sometimes it doesn't feel like it," Kyle said, regretting his words immediately after. Chaska had already explained why he was like that. Kyle was ashamed for letting his personal feelings get in the way.
There was a sharp screech, making Kyle look up to find that Chaska had made the cats move.
"Come here," Chaska said, tapping the space next to him on the sofa. Kyle looked at it with a bit of uncertainty. What was Chaska planning to do?
"You don't want to?" the younger man asked, pulling the blond out of his thoughts. Kyle looked down at the floor, and then back at Chaska again. He licked his lips, getting up before shuffling over to the sofa and sitting down. The foam sunk with his weight, and he felt himself shiver a bit when Kyle's thigh brushed against his.
There was a brief period of them just sitting side by side and breathing, but Chaska turned. The man gave Kyle a look over before giving him a reassuring smile. He reached out his hand, brushing the loose strands of hair from Kyle's face before touching the man's lips with the base of his finger. They were pink—like his face was now. The few seconds it took for Chaska to cover the distance between their lips felt like an eon to Kyle. His heart raced, and he squirmed and shivered when the man parted his lips with his tongue.
Everything was warm, nice.
Chaska's lips had been as soft as he had expected them to be. The man smelled like sweat and cat fur, but for some reason that didn't ruin things. It just reminded Kyle of how they had spent their day together. He moaned into the kiss, shaking at the feeling of Chaska's fingers that had traveled under the man's shirt. Kyle reached out a hand too, touching Chaska's face and drinking the feel of features.
Chaska broke the kiss, moving to kiss along the man's jaw. There was a lot of petting and whispering—not that Kyle could hear it since his mind was overridden with shock and pleasure.
Chaska moved to push the other man away, staring at the man's ice-blue eyes with his deep dark ones.
"Will you believe I'm interested now?" he asked, reaching to squeeze Kyle's hands with his. Kyle nodded, looking down at the space between them.
"I'm sorry about making you feel terrible. Just point out my behavior to me next time," Chaska went on, and Kyle just nodded to his words. It was strange. He was the older one, but Chaska was a lot more mature. The room went quiet again, and slowly the two found each other in the dim lighting. They cuddled, pressing their faces together as they held on to each other's arms. It felt wonderful. Kyle couldn't remember the last time he had been like this with someone—maybe those years ago when Anastasia would watch a movie with him, only that Kyle and Chaska weren't watching a movie. They were just listening to each other breath.
"Are you going back home tonight?" Chaska muttered, pressing his lips to Kyle's ear.
"No." The answer seemed obvious, but Kyle vocalized it anyway.
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