Chapter 45: Why do Hokage's have so much work?
(A/N: Just had this thought, and to disprove this later since there will eventually be someone who notices, SUMMONING IS NOT TELEPORTING. It has a different feeling to it from teleporting, which has a certain feeling to it that she remembers seeing as how it traumatized her.)
You know, I wonder if I can take back being Hokage. This has been a long ass morning, I'll explain later, and as soon as I go and get to the Hokage's office I see that it's full of paperwork, I look at Sarutobi who's sitting in front of the desk and see him with a smirk on his face. I rub my temples and go sit behind the desk, "What is all of this?"
Sarutobi laughs since the desk literally had 0 free space left on it and I can't even see the top of it, there's a good 25 cm thick layer of paper at the least. Sarutobi starts laughing, this is the build up of paperwork for a day since yesterday I was enjoying the festival, but that didn't mean the paperwork stops coming in." My god.
Sarutobi must have seen my soul leave me because he came up, gave me a pat on the shoulder, and when I looked up to him he out the Hokage's hat on me and passed me a robe. I sigh and put the robe on, it's a surprisingly perfect fit... I don't remember getting measured, did they ninja measure me? Not going to lie, that's impressive if they did it like that. Knowing me, even with this memory upgrade, I probably just forgot.
As Sarutobi walks away he throws something to me and tells me, "Oh yeah, here's some to get you started with. It goes to one of the Head Anbu so long as space isn't locked down. If you need the Anbu for anything go ahead and just clap or something, they can usually tell." Why does it seem you don't really know all that much about the Anbu... Weren't you the Hokage? Before I can ask anything else though he exits the door with a smile on his face. He did this just to sucker me into doing the paperwork for him.
I pick up the first set of documents which are held together with... a wooden clothespin. Well that's pretty ingenious I guess to hold papers together. Going through it I realize it's... entirely pointless. It's a report of a Shinobi requesting some funds, and the whole thing is just him convincing me. What the fuck man? 20+ pages of this? That's a waste of paper? I mean it's not like the 1st Hokage is here to go and make a bunch of woo- wait, I got wood release. Huh, if I could find some Jutsu for it I would be able to make a bunch of wood, same with the magnet release that I got. Time release, well I'm fucked there, I have to make my own techniques for that. Huh, wow Jutsu are so useful for making the economy plentiful now that I think about it. Wait that's right, this stupid report.
Looking through it I can tell that this Shinobi is trying to make menial things sound important, and looking at the name it's nobody that I recognize. I mean they put 'Money to visit contacts and supply them with incentives. Contacts may give services due to nature of their main work.' So... you want an excuse to visit, what I'm hoping to be, a massage parlor?
That's it, this report had given me all the reason I need to go and make a team of secretaries. I clap my hands and an Anbu appears before me, "Yes Lord Hokage?" God this is going to take some getting used to.
I rub my temples, "I want you to get a team of 5 other Anbu and select 10 people that are highly trust worthy and are excellent at handling paperwork, I would like to interview them. Preferably people who can read behind the lines of what is written. I wish to make that team assist in the paperwork since this isn't something a Hokage should handle, I should handle more important issues than a ninja that wishes to visit a massage parlor." These are assumptions, but still this is a good time to start as any.
He ponders for a moment, "Would you like for this to be an official notice or a task purely for Anbu?" Well pros and cons to each, however I would rather have it be public I think, to let people know that I'm already being more proactive about things. I respond to him with my thoughts, causing him to nod and then promptly leave the room.
Well hopefully I'll get some good candidates, I'll need to make sure that they are loyal though, I know some seals I could use... but that would just be cruel and unusual punishment honestly since it happened to some Anbu directly under him. Apparently, a lot of Anbu noticed that the seal ceased existing when I had killed Danzo so they went and spoke to the Hokage about it, burying Danzo even deeper into the hole he had dug for himself.
I wish I didn't have to go through all this paperwork, but I mean I only just sent out the request, it's not like- suddenly there was a knock on my door causing me to look up. I spoke up telling whoever it was to come in, could the news have already spread this fast in already 15 minutes?
After getting myself anxious I see that the person who entered was actually Tsunade, "Oh I heard from darkness what happened, did you enjoy it~?"
I sigh and lean back in my chair, "please font remind me of this morning. I don't want to think about that headache right."
She then gives me a scary grin before leaning on some of the papers, "Oh? You're telling me you didn't enjoy sleeping with such a cute woman who's much younger than you?" I don't like this Tsunade, go back to cute Tsunade please.
I smile wryly, "That jealous face is unbecoming of you I hope you know. To answer your question, I would have enjoyed it more it it wasn't that the way we woke up reminded me of my ex." Tsunade raises an eyebrow.
"What's an X?" Oh yeah, they just have courting... I think, in this world.
I sigh, "Basically an old lover, in this case it means ex-girlfriend."
Her face then twists rather evilly, "Oh, and I never heard about this because...?" Joe, what did you just walk yourself into...
For the next 30 or so minutes I go and I try to dig myself from the hole that I was in and explain Tsunade about how I was hurt by my ex, I also went and told her that, even though I don't think of my ex most of the time, I recall her more and more vividly when I am doing something that was very memorable between us. I told her that's why I was tearing up that one day that we went out.
It's not that I myself was sad, don't get me wrong, it does go and make my heart wrench still, but I am the happiest I have ever been, and I don't want to go and let her hold me back anymore. Well not completely. Seeing as how just small actions triggered those little flashbacks, I'm now worried what would happen when I sleep with a girl, will I go and remember all the times we did it?
For all her faults, my ex was amazing in bed. Now that I think about it, that was probably due to, well, her faults. Sleeping around has its perks huh?
Well the conversation wasn't ended by any resolution, there was a knock on the door, so I had Tsunade go and sit off in a seat as I called whoever it was in. I forgot I was Hokage for a second honestly. Well I guess it's really no different that I am usually, just well, a lot more lives are put into my hands.
I put on my smiling face as 3 people enter, the one leading in the front is a woman with Shoulder length brown hair and black looking eyes. As I try hoping that I don't run into her in a haunted house, she goes and bows down, "Greeting lord Hokage, we were told that you were looking to make a team for handling paperwork instead of the Hokage?"
I nod my head, "Well handling all of the paperwork that isn't important enough to be handled by the Hokage. I wish to have a small team work together to handle the paperwork, approve things that are sensible, deny things that are a waste of resources. Things that the team deems to be important, or cannot decide on will then be bumped up to me." I just need to not make this too much of a bureaucracy, I can imagine a ninja trying to apply for a mission, come here, only to find out they need a paper from across the village, and then find out it closed early that day. Definitely need to avoid that.
The woman nods her head after hearing my response, she then asks a question, "So would you like to test us and see whether we pass?" Oh, yeah. Ninja's and their trials. Uhh, lets see, where is that paper I was looking at before... Aha!
I pull out the paper and pass it to her, "In 10 minutes tell me what you think of this, whether you would approve this." I smile and sit as she flips through the pages, then when she gets to the last page I hear her sigh.
"No, I wouldn't this person, whoever he is, is a huge pervert, and a cheap one too. He wants to use village funds to go to a well known store in the leaf that deals in illicit things. Definitely not information gathering." I nod slightly.
"Alright, I'll tell you what I think about it after hearing from those other two." I point at the man and the woman.
The man steps up and bows before grabbing the paper and reading it for 2 minutes, "I was wishing that you were joking, but by all means it appears to be true. If you look at this line here, he also goes and makes sure to add that a tip may be added depending on the woman's ability. God, I feel bad for all women when men like this exist." He grabs his head and sighs before passing it over to the last woman who also bows when she steps forward.
After less than a minute, "Wait a minute, I know this shinobi... He's my brother's friend. They both always would go and brag how they were getting money to go to that disgusting place for free. As Ley said, he doesn't even try to go and hide that it was a woman and that he may tip her based on her ability. Not just that, but he also at the end, put it in very small lettering that he wished for even more money, and I am not joking, so he can buy a girlfriend. I have a newfound disgust for him." Jesus, this guy has no shame.
Also, the woman, surprisingly, had eyes like pearls, which leads me to believe she has the byakugan. Though since she is covering her forehead with her band I think she's not part of the main household.
I smile and nod, they even found things I didn't notice, and not just that, they built onto each other! I like them! "You have all passed, and should you wish the position is yours. However I will add in, at the very least 2 more people to join in your group. The starting pay will be 200 Ryo an hour and it would be, hopefully, only 5 hours of work a day for 5 days., and before you ask how I'll calculate it, I have a way of knowing how long each person will work. Seeing as these are sensitive documents as well I would like to have a seal put onto each of you. This is if you should still accept. If you don't then you do not need to worry about any of this." I kind of just pulled 200 Ryo out of my ass since I know you could buy a good amount of ramen with that, and considering that's 5k Ryo for working for 25 hours, I don't think that's too bad to last a family for a week. I mean lets see, 3 meals a day, times 7 days, times 20... is about 4k right? That's getting Ichiraku ramen too though, which while cheap, there is still cheaper food around that I've tried.
Some of those street vendors are actually pretty damned good. While I was doing those calculations the three silent shinobi went and spoke up, "We accept your conditions lord Hokage, please treat us well!" I nod and tell them that they are going to start tomorrow, and that's when I'd go and seal them. I already have one in mind, it turns invisible after you finish it so unless you know where it is it won't appear, I can put various conditions into it, and I can even put a jutsu in it. Know what one I'm going to put into it?
Flying Raijin, and It's going to be pre-set to go straight to the cells where I once met Orochimaru. Hehe, I just came up with that, cool right? See I'm learning from my blunders!
After they leave the room I look at Tsunade and smile, "Hey... think you can go to the orphanage and get them to prepare dinner for all of us as well? When I visit them I want to see how well those kids can do without me helping them." She sighs and walks away.
You know, how do harem protagonists do it? I literally can't understand how to handle a single girl, and now I have a masochist confessing to me when I first wake up, her going and doing pretty much everything to get me to sleep with her, a girl with 0 romantic experience trying to figure out the personality she wants when she's all lovey dubby and shit, a chick who stabbed me because she thought I wanted to die, and another who wanted to go and stab the other girls. And it's not like I can kill myself anymore to escape this.
Heh, that'd be pretty funny and at the same time mortifying, 'First Day in office, new hokage kills himself.' Wow I need to watch a funny movie or do something to cheer up before I go and dive down that rabbit hole more.
Oh yeah, speaking of movies and news headlines, whatever did happen to that wannabe Narrator that followed me around for a bit... I haven't seen them in a good bit. Well whatever.
Then before I knew it 4 years passed. Along the way I didn't waste it like I did those 7 years inside my dimension, I actually went and helped each and every one of my summons get stronger, I summoned Esdeath less than a month after I was made Hokage, and honestly I was torn as to what personality I could pick for her to do her justice. Like I wanted something that fit her looks, and would also be a punishment for her, well and a benefit for me.
One of the free options was making her a masochist, which would be all well and good, but what if she ended up like darkness and let herself be hit in combat just so she can go and get her rocks off? I couldn't have that, I know I'm going to fight tough things in the future and I've only recently made progress in helping darkness actually be useful with a sword.
Another personality that I wanted to give her wasn't free though, it actually cost SP. Well thankfully only 100, but still I had to resist since, well, it'd be only pleasing a certain audience and so long as you don't look at my internet history I am not part of that audience. In case you're wondering, it's little sister. It would be really awkward if she called me nii-chan considering I'm just a bit older than her, plus honestly, I can't imagine her like that at all.
I ended up with one of the free options since I didn't want to ruin her too much, and apparently since I did it how I did, well I was able to select 3 different parts of her personality since kind was apparently too ambiguous for the system. I'm not complaining though since I also picked confident, and well, this one is to make me happy, yandere. Just kidding no, sweet jesus no. Yandere's would be way too much for me, I know I can regenerate but I still feel pain, and jesus does it hurt to get stabbed. No, I ended up picking smart. I don't know why but I like smart girls, not to say I don't like girls that aren't smart, but well, girls that can go and hold up their own against me in a conversation definitely have a place in my heart.
That's just one part of what happened though, these last three years have been relatively hectic for my love life. God where to start.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
j0sejalap3n0
j0sejalap3n0 What do you guys think happened to the MC? And who do you think happened to him?
Also, hope people won't be upset with my Esdeath choice, I was going to make her something different but as I wrote it I realized it wouldn't work.
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