Chapter 4: Questions
"Him that I love, I wish to be free - even from me,"
Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
Marco
...
I pushed Jake off of me. My entire body was confused. My heart was pumping while my head was fuming. I didn't understand him. Was he... Gay? Bi?
I looked down at my hands, shaking. I glanced over at Jake. His brown eyes were smiling at me. I stood up and stomped away, not turning back. "Where are you going? Marco!" I heard Jake call behind me. My mind was in jumbles. I didn't know what to make of his kiss. "Marco!"
I didn't bother to turn around and look at him. I felt his arm grab my wrist, forcing me to flip around. "Woah, what's wrong?" Jake gently said. I stared into his chocolate eyes. "What's wrong is you kissed me Jake! I'm not gay!" I yelled back at him, snapping my arm away from his grasp. I walked away in anger from him, leaving him in my dust and awe. The winds kept pushing against me and cooled down my boiling body. Knowing that I would have to meet him at school tomorrow made me cringe.
"Marco. Wait."
I kept on marching away from him, feeling the crunches of the dying leaves beneath my feet.
...
I lay on my bed, wrapped in my blanket, compensating about what happened at the park with Jake.
The exact scenes were replaying in my mind like a movie.
"Please. I want to be friends, it's been so long since we've actually talked! You always push me away like I'm some kind of animal!"
"That's because you are an animal, Jake! You disregard everyone's feelings! How do you believe that I could forgive you!? You embarrassed me in front of the ENTIRE school! You only care about yourself! On the first day I met you, I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have talked to you! What do you want still?! Leave me alone! Nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing you do, will make me like you or see you as a friend anymore. Period!"
"Well..."
"Well wha-"
I shook my head, attempting to shake it out of my head. The feeling. It was odd. Did I like him? No. No way. Who did he think he was? Kissing me. Why did he kiss me? Isn't he straight?
All of these questions, circling in my head, clouding my thought. I got up out of my bed and stepped onto the cold wooden floor of my dorm. It was dead silent, even Hestor was asleep. I rubbed my forehead. I glanced at my phone and contemplated about the fact of calling Liam. I grabbed my phone and opened my contacts. Scrolling through my phone in the dark, I found Liam's number.
"Ugh. No, I shouldn't call him. It's too late anyways," I mumbled to myself. I sat down on my bed and stopped myself from pressing the "call" button. I eventually placed my phone down on the nightstand and plugged in the charger. I sighed and closed my eyes, pulling the blanket over me.
...
"How'd you sleep Marky?" Ashley's obnoxious voice asked me. I groaned in pain and fatigue. Hearing her voice would give me a headache, just a reminder, we're not even friends, but Ashley thinks otherwise. "Anyone home?" she asked while knocking on my head as if it were a door. I swatted her hand away and glared at her.
"Hey! Ashley!" my heart jumped into my neck. I knew instantly who that voice was. I didn't even want to look at him, so I stood up and left. "What's up with him?" Ashley said behind me. I didn't hear a response. I kept on walking, leaving those two behind. Whatever happened next throughout the day, I hoped that Jake wasn't part of it. I looked up in front of me and there was the bathroom door. I scoffed and heaved the door open. As I paced back in forth in the empty bathroom, thoughts kept on circling around my clouded head.
I reached for my phone, thinking about calling Liam. But right as my phone was tugged out of my pocket, the obnoxiously loud bell rang. I sighed as I stepped out of the lonely bathroom.
...
"Alright everyone! Take your sketchbooks and materials out! Even though we have had multiple classes, I still want to see your ability with art. So just go crazy and draw!" Mr. Arkt exclaimed. I did so and thought about what to draw. But something in my sight caught me off guard. Jake. Staring at me. He did a little wave. I glared at him. I completely forgot about him being in my art class. He was never really an art kid though, which confuses me. What made him want to take art in this school even?
I looked down at my blank sketchbook page and visioned something that would be nice to draw. And it popped into my head. Icy blue eyes.
I smiled as those two familiar irises appeared in my mind. I grabbed my pencil and began to draw the outline. As I kept drawing, my grin grew wider. Drawing has always been an outlet for me, but I just never get the chance. Turns out I'm decent at it. After the outline was finished, I rummaged through my pencil case and pulled out a beautiful pastel blue. I knew what I was going to do, so I smiled.
After what felt like ten minutes of drawing and shading, the period was over. I stared at what I did. Two eye catching blue eyes. I held my book to my chest and took a breath. I let my book down and started packing up all of my things and looked around the classroom for Jake, and I didn't have to look a lot, considering he was right in front of me.
"Hey."
I stared into his hazel eyes. Thinking about them made me angry, made me want to slap him, but I resisted the urge. "Get out of my way," I muttered as I pushed past him, clutching my sketchbook and pencil case close to me. Nearing the end of the day, I wanted to be in a "happy" mood before I went to sleep. I brushed through all the shoulders of the loud crowded hallway, avoiding Jake at all costs. Luckily, I did.
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AZQSXWDCEFVR Sorry if it took me a while to upload this chapter. Feel free to give ideas or whatever in the comments. I might not upload as often.
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