Chapter 3: Going out for groceries is exhausting.
It was a rule made by our family that we must wear a Burqah when getting groceries or when going to any nearby place like the tailor's.
It wasn't like that during my parent's generation. That was because the society they lived in was relatively safer. Back then, there was much more decency.
I did not know if it was because there were less reports of indecent assaults because of shame and fear or because it was genuinely safe.
In the beginning, it was fine and all for us to go out with a simple scarf, a long sleeved T-shirt that reached below the hips and a pair of jeans or pants. But then we realised an awful truth.
The loose clothing we believed to cover ourselves with were not enough to hide us from the gazes of men. They would keep staring at our hips even though they were covered properly. And I guess they even tried to use their non-existent X-ray visions to stare at our bosoms.
Abba(1) and Bhai(2) both realized this since they were men too. They knew the thoughts of men.
So we got ourselves some readymade Burqahs. I kept tripping over the lower hems at first - I still do- but I got used to them. (I did ruin a few Burqahs that way).
Buying Burqahs was a strange experience in itself. It was no different than buying clothes. But it had a much deeper significance to us. Because to us, it was an effort we took to be closer to our Lord. A way we strengthened our faith.
Burqahs were about as expensive as coats. Sometimes even more. So we decided to buy the material and lace ourselves and get them stitched. It was a bit cheaper like that. Plus we could customize it however we wanted. We could add a bit of colour too, but I would refuse. I would say, " We are wearing this to cover ourselves. We might as well call it a dress if it becomes so colourful."
There was nothing wrong with wearing colourful Burqahs. Many of my friends wore them too. But I had something against being flashy. No one would bother with a plain Burqah.
Ummi(3) wanted a bit of shimmer added in though. But I wanted plain-ness. So Ummi and I compromised.
We decided to have black sequin cuffs or black lace. Some of my Burqahs had black embroidery. They were pretty. But it wouldn't be visible to others unless they looked closely. It was a secretly satisfying. We felt pretty and hidden at the same time.
Well it went finely for a while. But then Bhai realised that the males would stare at our faces when we spoke. When he told us about it, we were horrified. It was known that we had somewhat pretty and fair faces, but that was too much! So we decided to become become Ninjas!
That's what my family called those who wore a face veil. It was a tiny piece of black cloth that we would tie around our heads. Sometimes we would use the scarf itself as a Ninja mask.
People called the scarf 'Hijab'. The face veil was called 'Niqab'. Oh well. Personally, I think Ninja sounds way cooler, being secretive and all. *inner otaku* I was an anime fan afterall (don't tell anyone! People here in India call them Cartoons. They don't know the difference! It's really a rare thing to find a fellow soul. *sobbing* Anime is not cartoon!!! \(•°~°• )/).
Grocery shopping was extremely exhausting. Burqahs were usually black and absorbed heat. The material usually used was not very breathable. We would be covered in sweat just getting a bag of a dozen eggs.
India was a country which was usually warm. It never snowed near the southern parts of India. Those were the coastal parts. Mumbai was a coastal area too. Temperatures in winter never went lower than 15 degrees. From what I remember anyways.
Once we reached home, we would become melted puddles. We wouldn't even have the energy to get a glass of water for ourselves. I was glad we had Indian skins. Or we would be burnt to crisp.
A few days later, after we became Ninjas, Ummi found out from some of her friends that a girl was harassed by some boys that coveted her. When her old father confronted them about it, he was ganged up upon and beaten up too. It was later know that the boys were influenced by the media and their peers and began to have ideas about it. We were appalled.
To think that the world I knew wasn't as safe anymore. Even amongst our own Muslim brethren!
I was a naive. Me being the youngest, I was shielded by three guardians. Ummi, Abba and Bhai. I really was a sheltered princess of the household.
The bad news kept coming to me one after the other after that. The Kathua rape case. The Nirbhaya gang-rape case... The list went on.
The Governmental higher-ups were useless to me. I didn't trust them to deal with it properly. The public was torn into many factions.
Some accused women of wearing indecent clothes like jeans. The feminists were accusing men of perversion and claimed that women should be allowed to be liberal and choose whatever she wanted to wear. They kept harping on and on about restrictions on women and how it was sexist.
To the 16 year old me, it was all a load of garbage. Complete Utter Unnecessary Nonsense.
I was brought up as a righteous and modest Muslim. Both boys and girls were taught to lower our gazes when in presence of the other gender.
Pornography was Haraam(4). Touching another intentionally even in the slightest of ways was Haraam. It was to the extent that we wouldn't even shake hands in greeting. Just a simple Salaam would suffice. Even the wedding halls were partitioned into men's and women's.
My young mind couldn't comprehend all those unnecessary arguments. All I knew was that, if a woman wanted to be safe, she had to take precautions and dress modestly and plainly. Instead of showing her colours and beauty to the world which would look at her improperly, she should save that beauty and only show it to close and dear people.
A woman's looks are like a person's treasures. Greedy people would covet it and would do anything to obtain it. It might be even at the cost of a life. So a person should not display his wealth and only use it for a good cause. In this case, a woman should only show her beauty to her husband and family and extremely close friends. But even amongst friends, it should be in moderation. You may incurr hate stemming from jealousy. And you can't show it to a male friend. Unless he is a part of your Mehram of course.
Mehram are people who are close in relation to you and who are forbidden from marrying you.
Me, as a child and also as a teen, was quite softspoken and mild. I would play by myself with my hand-me down cars and animal figurines which I received from Bhai. I hated Barbie dolls. The other girls thought of me as a weird specimen.
My childhood was a sweet dream. I had good sleep. We fasted together during the month of Ramadhan(5). Celebrated Eid-ul-fitr(6). Sacrificed cattle and poultry during Bakri Eid which was also called Eid-ul Adha(7). Alhamdulillah(8), my family was blessed and content. Allah protected us from evils and kept us safe.
In shaa Allah, our lives will continue to be blessed. Ameen
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Glossary:-
(1) Abba- Father. There are many ways to say Father in India. Pita-ji, Abbu, Baba, etc. India alone has about 1,600+ languages in total.
(2) Bhai- Brother. It's like the Chinese Gege or Korean oppa or hyung or the Japanese Nii- san. Didi or Aapa is for big sister.
(3) Ummi- Mother. Again, there are many ways to say that. Aaii, Maa, Mata-ji. - Ji is a suffix used to show respect. It is like the Japnese -san or -sama or -dono. Sometimes it is used to humour a child.
(4) Haraam:- Things that are forbidden in Islam. For e.g. Alcohol.
(5)Ramadhan:- The Holy month for Muslims. Muslims fast from right before daybreak before the first prayer (There are 5 prayers in total) till the fourth prayer that is at dusk. It lasts for 30- 31 days.
(6)Eid-ul-fitr:- It is a day for celebration that marks the end of the month of Ramadhan. People wear their best clothes and cook good food and offer a special prayer. One of the specialities is 'Shirkurma' which is a sweet dish made with milk, nuts, condensed milk and vermicelli. Children get 'Eidi' money from adults to spend it however they like.
(7)Bakri Eid or Eid-ul-Adha:- It is a day of sacrifice where every household that can afford the expenses will sacrifice an animal like a goat, chicken, sheep, etc. The meat is distributed to the poor and to neighbours and a small portion is kept for the household. The streets usually turn bloody. The funny thing is, children do not mind this too much. The Author is included.
(8) Alhamdulillah:- It means 'praise be Allah' or something like that. It is used when speaking of something good and to show gratitude to Allah.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
WidestGrin
WidestGrin I just realised that the glossary is the most satisfying part to write.... Feminist and Male chauvinists please don't start a war here. Author implores you.
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