Chapter 12: The Divide
With Ayne gone, Varren finally had some time to himself. She wouldn't collect anything of significance, of course, because she isn't cut out for the job. The sole reason he let her go was to buy himself time to recollect himself. This feeling fogged his mind; the feeling of murder. The blood, the sensation spreading like a disease, breath hastening, heart stepping into high gear.
"What's happening?!" Varren buried his head into his shaking arms. His voice was trembling so much he could hardly shout.
He shut his eyes as tight as he could, opening them again after a brief moment. A girl hugging a teddy bear had appeared. She didn't mutter a word, just silently stared down at him. Disappointment was written all over her face. Confused, he crawled back, away from the girl.
He closed his eyes again. A mistake was made. This time when he opened them, the child who was cradling a bear moments ago, was torn apart, burned, and covered in blood. She opened her mouth to ask a simple question, a question he didn't have the answer to. "What did you let us all go for?" He can't answer because his memories are all messy and clouded. The girl doesn't stop there. She starts coming closer to him. Is it some sort of mind trick or is reality really coming undone before his very eyes? Flustered, he pulls his gun out of its holster, and aimed at the girl.
"Even if you're hiding behind a mask, I know the truth." The child fell to her knees, crawling closer and closer, reaching her arm out for Varren.
"Don't come any closer!" he firmly cautioned, almost emotionlessly.
"This isn't you. You fear yourself, you hesitate, this isn't you.." the girl sneered, seemingly getting angrier by the tone of her voice.
Varren had been backing up from this weird phenomenon, but soon enough, he reached end of the road. Everything behind the girl started losing its color and demorphing. With his back pinned against a tree, he had nowhere to run.
"Back off!" he snapped, but the girl was unfazed.
"You came here, made new life, and lost it. Not only what you had here, but what you had before." The child hissed, with tears streaming down her face. "You don't even remember who you are, who I am. You abandoned us. And for what?" The girl wailed, still on her knees.
Hardly grasping on the situation, he lowered his weapon seeing that the broken girl won't prove much of a threat. Or so he thought. The moment he lowered his guard, the girl rushed towards him, grasping his throat tightly with her skinny hands, completely draining his strength. His body felt heavy, his breath weak, his mind filled with thoughts, thought of self preservation no matter what. The kid shouted a name repeatedly, a name he didn't recognize. With every second he felt like he would lose control. What a strange yet, familiar feeling. Suddenly, Varren snapped. He tighten his grip on his weapon out of sheer anger.
"Enough is enough." he whispered, still in the grasp of the child. He reached his prosthetic arm out and grabbed the girl by her own throat, turning the tables in matter of seconds. Now, he is the one on top, pinning down his adversary. As she lied on ground, he positioned his weapon close to her, aiming at her forehead.
"No matter where you go, you will always bring misery to others." the girl was unimpressed and started fading away, turning everything back to the way it was before.
He could still hear it. His name being called, but now, clearer and louder. Finally snapping out of his horror-filled state, he realized the girl he was pinning down was Ayne. He quickly pulled his gun away from her sobbing face, with himself tearing up soon after.
"I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" he asked gently, reaching his hand out to her.
"Yea.." she replied quietly with a hint of sadness in her voice as she took his hand and lifted herself up from the cold, harsh ground.
"I'm sorry for what happened." he apologized while searching for something in his coat pocket.
"I-"
"Here." Varren cut her off before she could finish her sentence. He held out a damp handkerchief to her. "I know it's wet, but it's better than nothing." he continued.
"Thanks." the troubled girl replied, taking the piece of cloth from Varren.
"Anyway, did you find anything?" he asked.
"There's a cave nearby. I wanted to bring your bag there first, and then come for you, but the bag is gone." she replied, staring at the ground as if she was expecting some kind of punishment.
"Not good. The food was in there too. I guess the river took it." he let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry.." Ayne said quietly.
"Don't be. It's my fault." he pet the girl's wet head. "Now, show me this cave. We need to get there and get a fire going before we catch a cold."
"Right" said girl, with slightly lit up face than before.
After Varren took his hand off her head, she quickly wiped her face with the dampened handkerchief, and guided her companion.
The two travelled through the forest's wilderness, keeping their own pace. During their hike, Varren couldn't help, but think about how he might have potentially put more distance between himself and Ayne. Should he tell her, or not? She's surely thrown away her trust for him now.
"We're here!" Ayne exclaimed confidently, ending Varren's internal debate.
It was nothing special. It was a small cave carved into a mountain, large enough to make camp.
"It's better than nothing." he started taking his clothes and armor pieces off. "I will go get some wood. You can rest if you want." he said, hanging some of his clothes on a tree.
"Why are you undressing, though…?" she asked, her face slightly turning red.
"My clothes are wet. If I was you, I would do the same. We don't have much money and medicine is pricey." he replied while taking off his shirt.
"Is it really necessary to take off everything-" Ayne covered her face in embarrassment, but it soon turned into concern when Varren took of his shirt and hung it over a tree branch.
His back was covered in a variety of bruises and scars. Some old, some fresh. What really caught her eye was the scar on his right arm. It was a wound that hardly healed and looked as if a monster chewed on it.
"What?" Varren asked after noticing the girl staring at his body.
"Nothing." she swiftly turned her head to the other direction.
Without giving it much thought, he grabbed the machete from Ayne, and went into the forest to look for suitable campfire wood.
With Varren gone, Ayne had some time on her hands. Well, she would if she didn't actually have anything to do. It didn't take her long to come up with an idea. She decided she would collect some leaves and softer materials for some bedding in the cave, and maybe keep an eye for potential food sources. She would be restricted to fruits and wild vegetables, though. Hunting without a weapon is out of question. "If only I had my rapier with me." Ayne grumbled to herself.
"It's settled then!" with her goal set, she wandered out in the search for food and materials. To her surprise, she didn't have to venture that far from the camp to find mushrooms that were quite large and berry bushes surrounding the trees. Thanks to the knowledge she gained from the times she was out trading with her father, she concluded that mushrooms were safe for consumption because they were recognizable. She wasn't sure about the berries, though. Since many different types looked identical. To tell them apart, you would have to crush them into salted water and wait for the color to emerge after a while. Nonetheless, she picked them up alongside the mushrooms using her skirt as makeshift basket, and carried them back to the camp. There, she left them inside and went back to the duty she put upon herself. Ten to fifteen minutes. Maybe more? She couldn't tell how much time she spent going back and forth, dragging leaves and dried tall grass. She didn't notice Varren return at all, but she did see some wood scattered around the cave's entrance, giving her a sense of relief because he's still doing fine.
With enough materials at her disposal, she made her way back to the cave. She placed the leaves and grass on ground, then separated them into two piles. She then neatly formed them into makeshift beds. It wasn't much, but she was still proud of herself. All this work completely occupied her mind, she ignored all of her exhaustion. "I think it's fine if I rest for a while now, right?" Ayne asked as she plopped herself onto the leafy bed. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it was enough for her to fall asleep in a matter of seconds.
That didn't last long, however. A violent metallic noise woke her from her slumber. She rose her head from the ground and rubbed her eyes to see that she had anything to worry about. It was Varren trying to light a fire using his machete. Not wanting to interrupt, Ayne got up quietly from her bedding, leaned her back against the wall of cave, and watched as he kept trying to start a fire. His futile efforts to do so reminded her of when she tried to light a campfire on her own while she was venturing with her dad on a trading expedition. This very moment filled her with hope for a brighter future. She couldn't go back anymore, she couldn't save what she had lost, but she can make sure that it wouldn't repeat.
"Finally!" Varren shouted irritably as a blaze of fire lit up the cave's interior, and ended Ayne's short internal monologue.
"Oh, sorry for waking you up." he apologized, when his gaze met Ayne's, still seated upon the leafy bed.
"No worries, I haven't been asleep for some time now anyway." she yawned, as Varren replied with a simple nod.
Shortly after, he got up from the ground, went outside the cave to receive his clothes, and quickly made his way back inside. Varren didn't pay any attention to Ayne while he was pulling his black sweater on. He rolled his sleeves up, and to her surprise, he pulled a scarf out and then tied it around his right arm, covering his large, fresher scar.
"Why'd you roll your sleeves up if you don't want to see the scar?" she asked curiously.
"I don't know, I just don't like how they cover everything." he replied.
"Then why did you cover the scar with the scarf?" she questioned.
"I- I feel more calm with it on." he held up his scarf wrapped arm up for her to see. "It's the only thing left that I care for." he followed up in a serious matter.
"Did it belong to someone close to you?" she continued.
"I don't feel like talking about that." he answered angrily with a hint of sorrow.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Ayne apologized then looked down at her feet.
After those words were spoken, a gloomy silence filled the cave with the crackling of the campfire interrupting every once in a while. No one wanted to say a word. However, Varren didn't want the night to end like this. This entire thing must have been hard on the kid. He didn't want her to become bitter about the world like him.
So he broke the silence with a simple question towards the girl. "How are you feeling?"
Ayne didn't expect a question like that coming from him. "I still can't believe that I'm here, sitting in a cave with a suspicious looking man in wilderness." those words threw Varren off, but he tried to not pay much attention to them. "But I am starting to feel better now."
"Well that's good" he nodded. Attempting to end the conversation. Before that happened, the girl asked a question. The one question he hoped to avoid.
"So, what happened to you today? You seem oddly tired and I feel like you've been avoiding me since the 'accident' by the river."
Silence took over once again. He clearly hesitated to answer. Even behind the mask, she could tell that he was troubled by the question.
"I-"
Before he could answer, Ayne cut him off, "I don't need to know anymore, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for noticing your struggle. You must have gone through some rough times, yourself, while I was blinded by my own worries. I won't judge you if you don't answer. I just wanted to say what was on my mind."
Varren knew what he had done wasn't acceptable, but hearing those words relieved him a bit.
"Thanks, for understanding." He replied after a short pause.
"It's gotten quite dark, so I'll head back to sleep. Don't stay up too late" she lied down on her bed and turned her head towards the cave's walls.
"Night." he replied, ending all conversation for that day.
He knew he should sleep soon, but he wasn't ready for the rest yet. His mind was occupied with thoughts that made him restless. Nevermind the fact that the bandits might still be lurking around, searching for them. Since he couldn't sleep, he decided to keep the fire alive. Ayne must have worked hard. She made beds and gathered some food for them, after all. As Varren fed another piece of wood to the starving flame, he heard a subtle noise. It was a sneeze coming from Ayne's side of the cave. Worried that she might catch a cold, Varren grabbed his coat and sheltered Ayne from the cold. He'll be alright, but she's a kid from a pampered household.
Time passed by fairly quickly. Everything comes to an end, eventually. The wood supply became scarce and his eyelids grew heavy. With nothing else occupy him, Varren decided that he should finally lie down and rest. Tomorrow will bring more hardships.
With the rising of the sun, a new day began. The sun's dazzling flares slowly crept their way to the entrance of the cave to claim their first victim.
Poor Ayne's eyes were claimed by the blinding rays, waking her up from a deep sleep.
Irritated by the fact that her slumber was cut short, she got off her back and sat on the bed, unaware of her surroundings. After she rubbed her eyes, clearing them of dust, and waking herself up, she caught a whiff of a delectable smell coming from beside her.
It was Varren roasting sliced mushrooms and chunks of meat on skewers above the fire.
"Where did you get meat?" Ayne inquired.
"I couldn't sleep. So, I went ahead and explored the surrounding territory since our map got ruined. I found a road nearby and decided to head back here. As I was on my way, I spotted an animal feasting on a berry bush, and shot it." he explained.
"Poor animal, but lucky us" she said, enjoying the fact that he found more food.
"Indeed." Varren replied. He finished roasting a piece, and threw the stick to Ayne, completely catching her off guard.
"You should have at least said something!" she shouted, puffing her cheeks up in annoyance.
"Calm down and eat up, chipmunk. We have lot of work ahead of us today." he chuckled.
Ayne didn't know what the 'chipmunk' thing was about, but Varren seemed to be in a better mood, now. She was glad that he's better. At least, for now. What matters the most is reaching a new town or at least a village. With their equipment lost, they wouldn't be able to venture for long. Especially with bandits actively hunting them. After they finished their small, but filling meal, they packed their things, gathered anything they deemed useful, and continued their travels.
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