Chapter 412: Epilogue - Elder Tang
Ever since Lu AnLing had left, after her grandmothers death, Elder Tang was lonely but not as lonely as he had expected because his three other grandchildren had begun spending a lot more time at the Tang family home.
Unlike his daughter, who was too ashamed after the incident with Lu AnLing to show her face, and his son, who had been obsessively chasing his ex lover, his grandchildren had come together and had made peace with one another.
Elder Tang was blessed.
At the moment when he thought this, Elder Tang sat in the living room looking at his three grandchildren with complicated emotions.
Tang Luoyi and Tang Yiling sat on the couch side by side. Both were on their phones and sometimes they would exchange a few words. Meanwhile, Tang Bingyi sat on another couch, with her laptop on her lap. She was working as she almost always did.
Looking at her phone, Tang Yiling suddenly frowned.
"When's dads... I mean, Uncles wedding again?" Tang Yiling asked calmly. She used to feel a lot more awkward talking to Elder Tang and about Tang Yian. But it was different now. Tang Yiling had changed and she had proved it over and over again to Elder Tang and so, she was free to speak and be as she wanted. And so, she chose to be a good granddaughter and family member.
Elder Tang shrugged. "I'm not sure... soon probably..."
"Will cousin AnLing be there?" Tang Yiling asked calmly.
Hearing what the girl had said, Elder Tang opened his mouth to answer but then suddenly, Tang Luoyi spoke.
"Obviously she'll be there! They're her parents! Rather than that, now that I think about it, how did uncle win over his ex wife...?" Tang Luoyi asked without shame as he touched the screen of his phone.
Tang Luoyi and Tang Yiling looked at Elder Tang curiously but it was Tang Bingyi who almost forced him to speak.
"Yeah...What happened?"Tang Bingyi asked slightly curiously as she lifted her head away from her computer. She truly wanted to know. The affairs of the heart were truly interesting for her but she didn't want to sound gossipy and so, she toned it down a bit.
Hearing her say this, Elder Tang looked at his granddaughter and then he sighed.
"Constant annoyance, probably." Elder Tang said with a disappointed look on his face. "As much as I wouldn't like to admit it, I don't want you or Yiling to marry someone like Yian. He's... I don't know... but that Lu woman isn't like her mother, she's gives in easily."
Tang Bingyi frowned at what the old man said, "Are you saying you didn't want uncle and auntie to get back together?"
Elder Tang shrugged. "Im happy for him. He might not be the most deserving of happiness but the fact that both he and his ex wife found their way back to one another is a miracle on its own... I'm sure AnLing agrees."
As the old man said this a strange glint apparel in his eyes. This caused Tang Bingyi to frown slightly. As the days went by, it began to become harder and harder to understand Elder Tang. He was much calmer and he had adopted a 'whatever happens happens' kind of mentality. Though this was not innately wrong it was strange for the man because he seemed a bit nihilistic.
This had begun ever since Grandma Lu's death and intensified after Lu AnLing's departure.
"You've been very strange lately grandfather. Is everything alright?" Tang Bingyi's voice was laced with slight worry.
There was a slight moment of silence.
"Ah it's nothing! I'm fine. I'm happy for Yian and Xiaoling. They'll have a happy future together and it's even better for AnLing's sake..." Elder Tang said quickly. He then pushed himself up from his seat and said, "Excuse me."
Elder Tang left before anyone else could say anything.
He headed straight to his office.
In his office, Elder Tang sighed as he sat back in his chair with his eyes closed. The man's mind was void and his heart slightly heavy. He was happy. He truly was. Everything was calm but he would be lying if he didn't admit that he felt a bit empty.
Thinking back to the time before he had met Lu AnLing, Elder Tang frowned slightly. Everything was so complicated back then. Tang Bingyi was still young and striving to succeed but still failing interpersonally, Tang Luoyi was a complete disappointment, and Tang Yiling was spoilt beyond belief. The old man had had so much to think about but now it was different. Everyone had changed for the better... and so, the old man had nothing to think about. There was nothing for him anymore.
Why was he even alive...?
Thinking this, Elder Tang's eyes suddenly fluttered open and anger filled his iris's. He then touched his head lightly.
"What am I thinking... Liane would be so disappointed..." Elder Tang said with disgust.
Suddenly, he turned his head to look at his desk.
On it there were two distinct pictures. One was of his darling Liane in her younger years and the second was one which Elder Tang couldn't help but look deeply at.
The picture was one taken at the hospital it contain a grand majority of the Kang's the Tang's and the Lu's. At first, Elder Tang had remembered that he was against it. He had felt a bit strange about taking a picture at a hospital. It was strange and it was a disturbance, considering how many of the family members had come but Grandma Lu wanted it no matter what.
On that day, Grandma Lu had had a moment alone with Lu AnLing and Kang Jun.
The old woman had looked at them both softly yet sickly and then she grabbed her granddaughters hand.
"I might be dying, but I want to leave you with something..." From just outside the door, Elder Tang had heard Grandma Lu say this to Lu AnLing. The woman had then touched the pregnant girl's face and spoken once more, "You've suffered a lot in the short while you've lived. But I want you to know that you're no longer alone."
As soon as he had heart this, the old man felt immense shame for his thoughts.
Everything Grandma Lu did in her final days, they were for Lu AnLing but not only Lu AnLing, but for those she cared about. Every time he visited the old woman she had done something, no matter how small for someone she cared about.
It was heroic in its own way... and because of this the shame grew bigger and bigger within the man.
One day, Elder Tang and Tang Bingyi had come to the hospital. The two were going to enter the room but suddenly Tang Bingyi had witnessed Lu Xia and so, she excused herself.
Before she left, Tang Bingyi smiled at her grandfather and said, "I'll be back, you can go in first."
Elder Tang was hesitant but he did so anyways.
Inside, Grandma Lu was laying in her bed, her sunken eyes partially closed and her breathing stable. At least for now.
Seeing her, Elder Tang felt a strange stuffiness in his chest. But this disappeared as soon as the woman spoke.
Grandma Lu: "Haonan, what brings you here."
Elder Tang shrugged. "Is it wrong to come and visit a friend."
"You're not my friend." Grandma Lu said without shame. "But I guess you're an in-law of sorts. Now come, come and sit!"
Elder Tang did just as Grandma Lu said, not even reacting to her rudeness. By now, he was used to it. But once he sat down, the man frowned slightly and said, "In laws...? I guess..."
Hearing this, Grandma Lu herself frowned. "Do you have a problem with that? Let me tell you, your son and my daughter may have divorced but by the way they spend all their time together, I'm sure that they'll get back together sooner rather than later."
Elder Tang nodded. "I think so too..."
Hearing the man's less than enthusiastic voice, Grandma Lu frowned. "Are you not satisfied with my daughter being your daughter in law?"
Grandma Lu's voice contained offence in it. It was so obvious that it practically slapped Elder Tang in the face.
Rolling his eyes, the man said, "Of course I'm satisfied. Your daughter is—"
"Perfect." Grandma Lu said.
"Let's not go that far. Nobodies perfect." Elder Tang snorted.
Grandma Lu was going to argue in the strange way she did but instead of doing that, the room suddenly went quiet.
"Hey, do me a favour. When I'm gone, make sure that your son takes good care of my daughter.... and that that idiot Guanting takes care of my sister or else, I'll haunt you!" Grandma Lu said in a joking tone, after the long pause. There was a slight laugh at the back of her throat but when she finally let it out, it sounded a bit solemn. "As you may know, I don't have much time left and those two are the only ones who I don't think I'll see get a sense of security and satisfaction..."
Hearing this, Elder Tang was going to question her. He knew that the Lu's had a slightly big family and that Grandma Lu had six grandchildren but if he remembered correctly, they were all independent in their own way. That year, even the youngest had made plans to study abroad and so the Lu house was practically empty.
This made Elder Tang think of his own situation. The Tang house was full... His son was still living there and Tang Luoyi, Tang Yiling and Tang Bingyi didn't seem to have many plans of moving out either. He was a bit glad for this but he didn't know why he still felt a strange hole inside.
Noticing he had paused for too long Elder Tang shook his head.
"My son will take good care of your daughter. I promise you that..." Elder Tang said slowly. "As for Li Jing, I'm afraid I won't be able to do anything."
"Why?" Grandma Lu frowned with slight anger. She was about to chew him out but before she could, Elder Tang spoke.
Elder Tang: "I heard from Guanting that Li Jing is going abroad with Kang Jun and AnLing... I'm not sure if it's because she has no more feelings for Guanting or that she had become too attached to Kang Jun but that was her choice and Guanting decided to accept it."
Grandma Lu frowned. "And he's not following her?"
Elder Tang shook his head. "He's staying to help Kang Liu Ran with the company, and Kang Nianxi with his first child... everyone has responsibilities..."
As the old man uttered the last sentence a strange feeling passed though him but he couldn't quite pinpoint it.
He was glad for his old friend. His family was happy now and all the secrets were out and they were a closer family for it.
Elder Tang's family was the same... and yet, why was he not as happy...
Elder Tang felt... annoyed and jealous...
It didn't take long for Grandma Lu to realize the look in the old man's face. It was too obviously painful. Grandma Lu would have been blind if she hadn't.
Looking at him, she sighed. She knew his situation. Because she was dying everyone came to visit her and she already knew everything about every little bit of gossip, even if they didn't tell her themselves.
"Look I know that everything's been a bit hectic lately but even so... sometimes you need to be a little selfish before you can be selfless..." Grandma Lu said softly. This seemed like it came out of nowhere but it didn't... she knew what kind of person both Elder Kang and Elder Tang were and she knew that while some people became kinder, softer and calmer in their old age. Some began to feel existential dread and relived their mistakes.
Elder Tang looked at Grandma Lu with slight confusion but with a certain knowing which even shocked himself.
"I'm saying this for your own good..." Grandma Lu said. Her voice was raspy and it sounded very off but still, the woman continued to speak. "If you ask me, despite being a brat in your younger years, all your life you did what right for others. What was right for you parents, for your company, for your wife, for your children and grandchildren... that's commendable, it really is. But sometimes, it's best to say what it is you truly want to say. Even if someone or even everyone won't like it..."
Hearing this, Elder Tang shook his head but before he could speak, Tang Bingyi opened the door and behind her was Tang Yian and Lu Xiaoling.
As Tang Bingyi and Tang Yian had entered the room, Elder Tang gulped.
He knew what he wanted to do... but even after weeks and days and months he couldn't quite find the courage to say anything.
Looking at the picture on his desk, Elder Tang reached out and touched Lu AnLing's face and then he touched the faces of Kang Mei Xue, Lu Yuxi and Kang Mingyu. As he did this, his heart began to ache.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
caremel
caremel Sorry for not updating in a while. This month everything’s been hectic and it’s hard to get used to it. But there are still epilogues to do!
Right now, Elder Tang is feeling a kind of existential dread. I’ve met people who feel this. They feel so responsible for everyone’s happiness that they never consider their own and then when everyone is happy. They feel empty... everyone needs to find their own happiness in spite of others. That’s what I believe.
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