Chapter 2065: Interference
After completing all the tasks he had set out to accomplish within the No Names territory, a week passed in the blink of an eye. In that time, Vahn finished repairing the town, creating a barrier, and, once everything else was said and done, he installed an office within the No Names territory before coordinating with Shiroyasha to establish his main office and forge near one of the Thousand Eyes branch locations.
Though he had yet to receive any actual customers, Vahn didn't particularly mind. Most of his time was simply spent idling around and adapting to the Divine Realm while another version of himself looked after Jin, Lily, Sarina, and Nono. He had, at the very least, ten years until he was supposed to return to his personal Little Garden. This was the amount of time he and the girls had agreed upon prior to his reincarnation so he didn't mind watching over the No Names until they could take care of themselves.
Fortunately, Jin was a very studious young man, and, thanks to his phenomenal magical energy reserves, he was making quick progress towards mastering the basics. The three girls were 'much' slower, but, considering Sarina and Nono were relatively normal young ladies, Vahn wasn't all that surprised. Rather, even if they just spent the next few years playing around with the other children, he wouldn't condemn or criticize them.
If there was anything Vahn had to complain about, it was the fact that Shiroyasha would drop in on him whenever she pleased. He didn't particularly mind her presence, but, more often than not, she appeared at the most inopportune times. More specifically, she had developed a habit of popping up when he was spending time with Black Rabbit, taking a bath, or preparing food.
Much to Sarina's chagrin, the relationship between Vahn and Black Rabbit had been developing at a slow yet steady pace. She would often stop by whenever she had free time, and, after mustering up a bit of courage, she even offered to wash his back for him. Vahn graciously accepted this, but, as a result, they ended up having to share the bath with a genderless imp as well.
Vahn had tried to coax Shiroyasha using anime, manga, and video games she was unfamiliar with, but, every time he and Black Rabbit were about to cross the line, she would invariably appear. He knew she was only doing this because she was concerned about Black Rabbit's well being but that didn't make it any less annoying. After all, she was the one that initially tried to pair them together.
If he really wanted to, Vahn was absolutely confident in his ability to get Black Rabbit to bear her all to him. He just didn't want to force her before she was ready. This was the main thing that annoyed him about Shiroyasha's behavior. She knew he was letting Black Rabbit decide when they advanced their relationship, yet, every time the befuddled bunny mustered up her courage, Shiroyasha would appear to tease her...
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"Oho~? What's this? I'm sensing a bit of favoritism here..."
"Shi-Shi-Shiroyasha-sama!? W-What are you doing here!?"
Picking up the towel she had just dropped, Black Rabbit's hair became bright pink as she used it to hide her frilly pink swimsuit. She had actually intended to come naked, but, after fretting over what might happen for the better part of three hours, she ultimately agreed to Vahn's offer of a massage with her swimsuit on.
Staring at Black Rabbit, Shiroyasha wriggled her hands in a manner reminiscent of a lecherous old man until Vahn released an exasperated sigh and remarked, "I thought I tied you up. How did you escape so quickly? Even Nadeshiko shouldn't have been able to break those bindings..."
"Eh...?"
Though Black Rabbit was surprised by Vahn's words, Shiroyasha simply snickered mischievously before puffing out her non-existent chest and answering, "It'll take a lot more than a few anti-divine ropes to keep me sealed, brat. Besides, I can simply accelerate time around my body until they turn to dust. You may be skilled when it comes to the production of Gift-Grade Artifacts, but even entire cosmologies are destined to fade away with the passage of time. I just made the ropes age a billion or so years and, voila, I was freed~."
"Right...so? What are you doing here? I'm not going to give you a massage."
Clicking her tongue, Shiroyasha muttered, "Greedy..." before regaining her smile and adding, "I just came to observe. I could see from my own shop just fine, but it's a lot more interesting to see Black Rabbit's reactions up close. Don't mind me."
Punctuating her words, Shiroyasha manifested a thick cushion and some rice crackers out of thin air before taking a seat and adopting an expectant smile. This left Vahn with a deadpan expression, as, almost immediately after Shiroyasha took a seat, Black Rabbit meekly muttered, "Sorry Vahn...I think we should do this later..."
Without waiting for his response, Black Rabbit fled from the room with an embarrassed look on her face. Her departure was closely observed by Shiroyasha, who, immediately following Black Rabbit's departure, erected a soundproof barrier to assert, "I'm not trying to get in your way. I just think your relationship is developing too quickly. At the very least, I'd prefer it if you wait until the matter with you-know-who has been settled..."
Though they had yet to discuss the specifics, Vahn had been made aware of the plan that had been drafted by the former leaders of the No Names. Their previous Strategist, a woman named Canaria, was a reality-bending existence known as a Poet. Poets were considered to be the fourth 'Strongest Species' due to their ability to change the meaning of concepts and rewrite fate. Prior to her death, Canaria had used all of her power to manifest an ultimate trump card to deal with a nigh-unkillable threat known as Azi Dahaka, a Demonic Dragon God representing Evil and Destruction.
So long as nothing unexpected occurred, the measures Canaria had taken all but guaranteed that Azi Dahaka would, at the very least, be sealed away. Black Rabbit had an important part to play in this plot, so, for the time being, Shiroyasha wanted to prevent too many variables from appearing. Vahn was considered an exception, for all kinds of reasons, but things would become inordinately more complicated if Black Rabbit were to suddenly have children of her own to look after.
"You do realize that I could probably defeat him on my own, right? I mean, I don't mind sharing the spotlight, but it's nonsensical to conform to fate when you've literally met people who can influence it at their will. It only takes another Poet to completely screw over your plan."
Shaking her head, Shiroyasha stated, "You're underestimating Canaria. Even if another Poet did try to intervene, they would need to sacrifice themselves in a similar manner. The majority of Poets are extremely selfish individuals. There's no way they would lump themselves together with a bunch of Demon Lords. They usually spent their free time messing with Gods and Heroes by genderbending them and pulling similar pranks. Hell, most of the Second and Third Generation Deities came about as a direct result of the stories written by Poets. Even if one did appear, they would just spin a story that results in the Demon God having tits. It wouldn't be the first time."
Though he wanted to point out that there was always a possibility, Vahn knew that Shiroyasha was right. Even he could sense the powerful fate around people like Jin and Lily. It would take someone willfully machinating against them to orchestrate a scenario where they ended up losing their lives. With him around, that was pretty much impossible.
Exhaling a sigh, Vahn shook his head in mild exasperation before asking, "How long until the 'plot' begins to move forward? I remember you saying that the third generation of problem children is expected to arrive in seven months. How soon after that do you plan to confront the Demon God?"
Shaking her own head, Shiroyasha shrugged her shoulders as she answered, "I have no clue. I don't even know what powers the third-generation problem children possess. Canaria used her power to make sure beings in the Divine Realm wouldn't be able to spy on the children of her friends and the trump card she had prepared. We'll have to see how strong they are when they arrive. After that, it's a matter of defeating the organizations targeting the seal and confronting the Demon God once he awakens. It could take a year, ten years, or even a hundred years. Who knows?"
"So, you're telling me to 'hold back' even though you don't know how long everything is going to take? What if it takes a thousand years? Do you really intend to make Black Rabbit wait that long before she can start a family?"
Snorting through her nose, Shiroyasha immediately replied, "Bullshit. If it took the problem children that long to defeat the Demon God, we'd all be screwed. Besides, now that you're here, I doubt you would just sit around as some three-headed dragon bastard ran around destroying things on your turf. I know how territorial you lizards can be. At the most, I imagine it would only take a few years. After that, you and Black Rabbit can pump out as many baby bunnies as you want. Don't tell me the illustrious Sage Dragon Emperor can't control his libido for a few years?"
Raising his brow, Vahn gave Shiroyasha the kind of look reserved for complete fools. This caused a visible tickmark to appear on the petite Demoness's head as he remarked, "Are you an idiot? Sure, I could wait a few years, but the time for me to be a one-woman kind of man has long since passed. I don't want to hurt Black Rabbit's feelings but it's only a matter of time before I find another woman who tickles my fancy or proactively targets me. It's an integral part of my character at this point. The only thing you'll accomplish by getting in the way is making Black Rabbit sad when other girls make greater headway than her..."
Furrowing her brows and crossing her arms, Shiroyasha adopted a slightly hostile look on her face as she stated, "I never expected to hear something like this from you. I knew you had an extensive harem, but I didn't think you would be this arrogant about it..."
Exhaling yet another sigh, Vahn combed through his hair in an effort to remain calm as he said, "I'm not trying to be arrogant. I'm just being realistic. Even when I make an earnest effort to limit myself or prevent girls from targeting me, something will always transpire to bring me closer to a member of the opposite sex. You observed it for yourself when I was climbing the Tower. Do you really think the various factions and Communities are just going to sit by as I continue to expand my power and influence?"
Frowning even deeper, Shiroyasha suggested, "You could always disguise yourself as an old man, or, better yet, an aged woman..."
Deadpanning in response to the suggestion, Vahn rebutted, "You could always do the same. Why don't you...?"
Understanding what Vahn was trying to get at, Shiroyasha exhaled a sigh of her own before shaking her head and saying, "Fine. I get it. Can you at least wait until the problem children arrive? Once we have a better grasp of their power, you'll be able to act with a lot more impunity than you currently do. After all, if you're always much stronger than they are, it shouldn't be an issue for you to defeat that three-headed bastard on your own."
Since it wasn't like he was desperate to have sex or produce additional children, Vahn ultimately just shrugged in response to Shiroyasha's suggestion before shaking his head and saying, "Sure. I'll give you a bit of face this time around. Still, you should know I'm not fond of other people interfering in my personal affairs. At this point, you're doing more harm than good by interfering in Black Rabbit's attempts to push our relationship forward. It's only been a week and she's already beginning to feel stressed out. What do you think will happen if this continues for an entire seven months?"
Though she could understand what Vahn was getting at, Shiroyasha appeared confident when she stated, "Black Rabbit is a strong girl. I have watched her grow from an infant to the woman she is today. She might get a little stressed out, but, so long as you don't continue pushing her, she will eventually mellow out. The only reason she is acting like this is because she has no experience with love. If you weren't such a Casanova, she wouldn't be trying so hard to meet your expectations..."
Wincing in response to Shiroyasha's accusation, Vahn was about to say he wasn't actively trying to seduce her when the petite Demoness chimed in to say, "Don't give me that. You know what kind of effect you have on women. You were already hugging her and placing your hands around her waist the first day you met. Now you have her offering to wash your back and deliberating over whether or not she should strip down to her birthday suit for a massage. You might not have been trying to seduce her, but you sure as hell aren't making an effort not to..."
Understanding better than most the kind of effect he had on women, Vahn just shook his head in response to Shiroyasha's words. He wasn't trying to refute her. He just didn't know what to say in response. She had hit the proverbial nail on the head. In fact, every time he and Black Rabbit were alone together, he was always the first to initiate contact. It would be strange if she didn't think he was harboring even greater 'expectations' towards her...
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Cock-blocking Demon Goddess','Poets sound like assholes...highly cultured assholes xD...','Vahn is a literal chick magnet...')
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Chapter 2066: Revelations
After sorting through his thoughts, aided by his accelerated mental faculties, Vahn exhaled a tired sigh as he said, "There isn't really much I can do about it. I've spent hundreds of years pandering to my women and doing everything I can to make them happy. As strange as it sounds, it's basically a muscle memory at this point. If Black Rabbit keeps giving me 'go-ahead' signals, I'm going to keep reacting."
Not expecting Vahn to say something so honest yet shameless, Shiroyasha pulled out her fan and began to snicker. This proved he wasn't a complete 'asshole'. He just didn't really know any better. This was something she could work with, so, after getting her fill of laughter, she snapped her fan shut and said, "Leave it to me. Black Rabbit will do just about anything for her Community. If I can convince her it's for the sake of the children, she should cool her jets pretty quickly. You just need to stop being so touchy-feely all the time."
Raising his hands in a helpless manner, Vahn stated, "That's easier said than done. Just like when I caressed your head, it's not really something I can control. If a person is in my range and they do something I find cute or approve of, I'll end up petting them by instinct. Black Rabbit is simply too cute for my hands to remain idle..."
"Hmmm...I can kind of understand that. Even I can barely keep my hands off of her..."
Adopting an accusatory look, Vahn retorted, "There is a significant difference between me petting someone's head and you groping their breasts and butt..."
Snicking in response to Vahn's words, Shiroyasha opened her fan again before stating, "So, you're basically saying you need something to keep your hands occupied. Is that why you decided to open up a forge?"
Shaking his head, Vahn explained, "There is a forge in my workshop, but my workshop isn't a forge. It is also a medical ward, an alchemy atelier, a massage parlor, and pretty much anything else I need it to be. But yeah, I guess you could say they're all tasks that occupy my hands."
"Then it's simple. We just need to find you an assistant, extra emphasis on the ass part. Black Rabbit is a pretty skittish woman. If there is someone else around, her boldness will drop from 100 to 0 real quick. This is also a good opportunity to let her sort out her feelings regarding becoming a member of a harem. You've been pretty open about it, but there's a substantial difference between knowing your partner has a harem and seeing them interact with other women. If she can't stomach the idea of seeing you with other women, it would be better to pair her off with someone else."
Frowning, Vahn crossed his arms in a defensive manner as he said, "I just told you that I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I understand where you're coming from, but that objectivity of yours is pretty ruthless."
Shrugging her shoulders, Shiroyasha rebutted, "You also said it couldn't be helped. It wouldn't be a problem if you were a one-woman man, but you're not. At least this way she will have more options to choose from. Besides, don't you need someone to shield you against those two brats you picked up? Your expectations are waaay too high if you think Jin has what it takes to create a harem. You'd have a better chance at convincing a pebble that it's a planet."
Furrowing his brows even deeper, Vahn begrudgingly groaned, "There are other boys in the No Names..."
"Pfft...!"
Unable to contain herself, Shiroyasha began to laugh in a frustratingly boisterous manner, much to Vahn's chagrin. When she was done, she wiped away a tear from her eye before saying, "You're not wrong, but girls like that only have eyes for older, more reliable men. You're basically their knight in shining armor. Sure, you can pawn them off on others if you're serious about it, but there's no way in hell they'll settle for boys younger than themselves. Unlike men, most women aim for men older than themselves. The only notable exceptions are childhood friends or girls with terrible household situations and much younger brothers."
Shaking his head, Vahn's expression didn't improve as he remarked, "You have an answer for just about everything, don't you...?"
Adopting a smug, remarkably smackable grin, Shiroyasha puffed out her nonexistent chest as she said, "Of course. I might only be a few thousand years old, but I've experienced tens of trillions of years, countless epochs, and the start and end of innumerable metaversal structures. I've witnessed the beginning and will probably be around after everything comes to an end. You'd be 'very' hard-pressed to find someone more knowledgable than me when it comes to things like this."
Since Shiroyasha's existence predated the concepts of time and space, she only counted the time since she had physically manifested in the Divine Realm as her age. If not, it would be impossible to calculate her actual age as her existence was, quite literally, related to the formation of stars across all of creation. In other words, she had been around since the birth of every cosmology and would continue to exist until someone replaced her or every star in existence burned out.
Rolling his eyes, Vahn decided to get to the point, asking, "What did you have in mind? Don't tell me you're intending to pair me up with every girl you've personally taken an interest in? I've lived through a similar plot..."
As he had primarily been joking, Vahn's expression morphed into a deadpan when Shiroyasha spontaneously paled, her cat-like eyes briefly averting to the side as she avoided answering his question. Ever since she had received her Divinity, she had lost the ability to lie. This was one of the reasons she made people pay for the information she had and why so many people trusted her as a source. Unfortunately, at times like this, it could be a double-edged sword.
"You sneaky little..."
Waving her hands, Shiroyasha became uncharacteristically flustered as she explained, "H-Hey now, it's not like I was trying to deceive you or anything malicious. I was just thinking ahead. I mean, let's be real, it's only a matter of time before you try to lay your hands on me. Besides, all the girls I have in mind are either super cute or sexy. What's there to complain about?"
Massaging his temples, Vahn didn't know where to start with the imp-like woman nervously smiling back at him. She had always reminded him of Loki. He had just failed to take into consideration how truly similar they were. Fortunately for Shiroyasha, Loki had secured her place as one of the women he was most fond of. She had been instrumental in shaping him into the man he was today, and, no matter how much time passed, he constantly found himself relying on the advice she had given him hundreds of years prior...
Shaking his head, Vahn found himself restraining a smile as he exhaled a tired sigh and asked, "So? Where is she...?"
Realizing that Vahn was basically giving her the green light to proceed with her grand harem plan, a lascivious grin developed across Shiroyasha's face before she could conceal it behind her fan. Then, before Vahn could retort with a deadpan expression, she answered, "Her name is Shirayuki-hime. In the lower realms, she was a water wyrm that sacrificed herself to one of my altars. I took an interest in her and blessed her with a fragment of my Divinity. At the present moment, she presides over the Tritonis Falls located at the Edge of the World. Since you're a Celestial Class True Dragon, I imagine she would be pretty enthusiastic to serve as your concubine, consort, mistress, or even slave."
Though he was tempted to ask what she meant by Celestial Class, Vahn could make a few guesses from the name alone. He could also research it more using the Sacred Tome, so, instead of shifting the conversation elsewhere, he remarked, "I don't need slaves. Also, how many women are a part of this plan of yours? If I'm going to humor you, I'd like to know what I'm getting myself into..."
While concealing her smile behind her fan, Shiroyasha unashamedly answered, "Don't worry. While I am perfectly capable of appreciating beauty in all its forms, there are only a handful of women who have earned my genuine intrigue. I can't give you an exact value since it's constantly changing, but I can assure you it will only be a few drops in the bucket compared to the current number of women in your harem..."
Shaking his head, Vahn resisted the urge to have Loi-chan spill the beans. Instead, he spread his senses through the rather sizeable manor to find Black Rabbit lying face down in the room he had prepared for her. The disheveled covers made it look like she had thrown a bit of a tantrum, and, despite several minutes passing since her departure, her hair was still a vibrant shade of pink.
"I'm not fond of subterfuge and manipulating people's hearts. If you want to implement this little plan of yours, we'll need to be upfront with Black Rabbit from the beginning. That girl deserves all the happiness the world has to offer..."
Exhaling a sigh, Shiroyasha shut her fan shut before muttering, "You really do possess a soft spot for women with tragic backgrounds, don't you...?"
Adopting a wry smile, Vahn elected not to answer Shiroyasha's inquiry. She had been watching him long enough to know his 'modus operandi'. He didn't go out of his way to target women with tragic backstories, but, more often than not, they found their way to him. He simply didn't have the heart to become another chapter in their heartbreaking tale, so, unless he had a specific reason to refuse them, he generally did everything in his power to make them happy...
Realizing that Vahn wasn't going to speak on the matter, Shiroyasha rose from her cushion before popping her back like an old lady and saying, "Okay then. I'll go and have a chat with our favorite little bunny. I'll also convince her that it's not a good idea to pump out babies any time soon. After that, you two can go to town on each other. Just make sure you don't knock her up."
With one of the most incredulous looks he had ever managed, Vahn stared at Shiroyasha as if she had lost her mind, remarking, "What the hell are you on about? Wasn't this entire purpose of this conversation to convince me 'not' to have sex with her?"
Returning a characteristically impish smile, Shiroyasha answered, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Most of what I've been saying pertains to Black Rabbit getting pregnant. Why should I care if the two of you bump bodies?"
Glaring at the cat-like Demoness, Vahn practically growled, "You've been showing up and getting in the way every time we're about to make progress. If you weren't trying to interfere with us having sex, what-"
"Oh, that? I was honestly just messing with you. Why should the two of you get to have fun while I'm stuck sitting around? At the very least, you should invite me to spectate. I mean, I can keep an eye on you from my room, but that's basically like watching porn. I'd rather be in the splash zone, if you know what I mean~"
Ignoring Shiroyasha's lewd remarks, Vahn replayed their entire conversation in his head. He realized that the only stipulations she had placed on him were related to, as she put it, 'pumping out baby bunnies'. She had never once told him he couldn't have sex with Black Rabbit. She just chose words that made it sound like she was.
"It's been a long time since I got played..."
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Vahn be like, "The demon in my right hand...it's too strong..."','Shiroyasha and Loki would get along...','This is what happens when you fool around with beings that have existed since the dawn of creation xD...')
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