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Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
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It is a good book it's a shame I can't vote on it. Don't read past this. q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q qq q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q qq q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q
Reveal Spoiler
Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus
First time bothering to rate a novel on this website, so far the story is great but the only thing that’s bringing it down is the story lacks explanations like what's body tempering pearl, why did he get sealed, why and how he got body tempering materials so easily in a cruel cultivation world, the character accepted it without asking/thinking about why he got sealed and how does he know how to unseal his meridians and idk how to fully explain it but the story needs background info, it only says he is 4 and he gets sealed after his test but nothing about where he came from..... I can add more stuff but I think you get the point. As long as these stuff get added in the story will be perfect. Edit: that was a comment before i saw the stat numbers -_- too unreasonable like I Eat Tomatoes novels except it starts at the beginning of the story, initially i gave it a high rating but lowered it because of this but i still think the story has potential if the author is reasonable with how op the main character is, the stats might be reasonable at the end of the novels but not at the beginning of the story unless the author just uses big numbers but it doesn't equal to that much power, but still if that were the case the numbers are just crazy. One of the main reason i read cultivation novel is because i want to see character progression and adventure. I like the bloodline and transformation idea would be nice if the author makes the transformation actually his main body since there are too many novels out there that use transformation as superficial cultivation technique and at the end human body strength is greater than the transformation version. I am still going to read on and see if things improve or the author can make things work with how things are and change my rating based on that. Overall you just gotta make the power system more meaning full rather than just too op and need more background detail, and hopefully the story doesn't focus on women too much because i often see author use that as an excuse to make a ton of filler chapters. I know author is 13 and you already have a great framework for a very great story but the author still has a lot of learn, and don't take offence but this is my honest opinion after reading 100+ cultivation novel. If you can fix and incorporate everything i said using the same idea that you already have then this will be in my top 5 novel list. You also have to know that after reading all these novels now days most novel feel too repetitive to me and the only reason i am writing this comment is because this doesn't. So i hope you improve your story and before all this i hope the story doesn't get dropped which usually tend to happen. I think your story has similarities with 'Warlock of the Magus World' so might want to check that out and 'Swallowed Star'. Swallowed Star author also tends to use big numbers like you so by the time you finish his novel you will be annoyed to look at numbers, they loose their value... and he also tends to ruin the story at the end in all of his novel by getting rid of their uniqueness like bloodlines/special power and stuff.
It a good just wanted to review so that this will continue.Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp.
Reveal Spoiler
The story has potenital But you can't make a bunch of OP pover in novel He is demon in human body and has a higest cultivatio grade And thats okey and nice But the problem is sistem Sistem is too much And story development is too fast He has a strong body And has a seled meridians Its a good start But he didint get hunted by king or sect And he is calamity There si a lot of thing that need do remake 1. Take a slover pace Dont go to fast with story 2. He is to smart He dosen't have a comon sense. Thats okey but later he went to mental sect way/where noting is explained 3. You have to litle desprition about some thing I read it till you did start with a system I didint read it later But this is my honest option I know that you are 13 old So dont take offens but take a slover pace and read some novel Wach how other autors write ther novel Also read a coment Trust me you can learn a lot Of cos read a good coment where readers a brutaly honest and a spams My native isitn english Do a dont wach a gramars As long a can read it and unerstand Im okey Dont take offens but i belive if you want to be a beter author Then you need to work a lot
Reveal Spoiler
Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good Very good
please update because i love your story , so PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE update
Reveal Spoiler
Ironically that I am giving my own book a review but I have something important for all to know... I am currently 12 years old. It's 2018. I am in school so I usually only release 2 chapters in each holiday but sometimes I write in math class... As a 12 year old I this is my first time writing a proper book. Each chapter I write should have slightly more words than the last. I accept all comments but no spam. Thank you for reading my book.
Now that it's been a year I'm honestly quite sad that only 26 chapters has been written. Time flies when you're bored. Anyways I just wanted to say that I spent some money (I totally didn't cry) and bought grammarly premium and some apps along with a bunch of writing utensils which will greatly increase the quality of my work. Although the release rate is still quite low since I have a life to live and homework to burn, I still try and write when I have enough motivation (I've been banned from red bull because I'm in puberty and I can no longer fly) Special thanks to Tam123 And our MHA friend Deku for following me all the way to chapter 26 already. I'm really glad. Now that I'm back in London I just have to finish a quick chess tournament and I will start releasing again. Well, enough of this 140 character+ review and time to start writing!
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👍👍👍👍👍👍👌👌👌👌👌👌👍👍👍👍👍🤟🤟🤟🤟🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍Very good
It is a good book it's a shame I can't vote on it. Don't read past this. q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q qq q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q qq q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q q
Reveal Spoiler Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus Sangat bagus
First time bothering to rate a novel on this website, so far the story is great but the only thing that’s bringing it down is the story lacks explanations like what's body tempering pearl, why did he get sealed, why and how he got body tempering materials so easily in a cruel cultivation world, the character accepted it without asking/thinking about why he got sealed and how does he know how to unseal his meridians and idk how to fully explain it but the story needs background info, it only says he is 4 and he gets sealed after his test but nothing about where he came from..... I can add more stuff but I think you get the point. As long as these stuff get added in the story will be perfect. Edit: that was a comment before i saw the stat numbers -_- too unreasonable like I Eat Tomatoes novels except it starts at the beginning of the story, initially i gave it a high rating but lowered it because of this but i still think the story has potential if the author is reasonable with how op the main character is, the stats might be reasonable at the end of the novels but not at the beginning of the story unless the author just uses big numbers but it doesn't equal to that much power, but still if that were the case the numbers are just crazy. One of the main reason i read cultivation novel is because i want to see character progression and adventure. I like the bloodline and transformation idea would be nice if the author makes the transformation actually his main body since there are too many novels out there that use transformation as superficial cultivation technique and at the end human body strength is greater than the transformation version. I am still going to read on and see if things improve or the author can make things work with how things are and change my rating based on that. Overall you just gotta make the power system more meaning full rather than just too op and need more background detail, and hopefully the story doesn't focus on women too much because i often see author use that as an excuse to make a ton of filler chapters. I know author is 13 and you already have a great framework for a very great story but the author still has a lot of learn, and don't take offence but this is my honest opinion after reading 100+ cultivation novel. If you can fix and incorporate everything i said using the same idea that you already have then this will be in my top 5 novel list. You also have to know that after reading all these novels now days most novel feel too repetitive to me and the only reason i am writing this comment is because this doesn't. So i hope you improve your story and before all this i hope the story doesn't get dropped which usually tend to happen. I think your story has similarities with 'Warlock of the Magus World' so might want to check that out and 'Swallowed Star'. Swallowed Star author also tends to use big numbers like you so by the time you finish his novel you will be annoyed to look at numbers, they loose their value... and he also tends to ruin the story at the end in all of his novel by getting rid of their uniqueness like bloodlines/special power and stuff.
It a good just wanted to review so that this will continue.Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp Exp exp exp exp exp.
Reveal Spoiler The story has potenital But you can't make a bunch of OP pover in novel He is demon in human body and has a higest cultivatio grade And thats okey and nice But the problem is sistem Sistem is too much And story development is too fast He has a strong body And has a seled meridians Its a good start But he didint get hunted by king or sect And he is calamity There si a lot of thing that need do remake 1. Take a slover pace Dont go to fast with story 2. He is to smart He dosen't have a comon sense. Thats okey but later he went to mental sect way/where noting is explained 3. You have to litle desprition about some thing I read it till you did start with a system I didint read it later But this is my honest option I know that you are 13 old So dont take offens but take a slover pace and read some novel Wach how other autors write ther novel Also read a coment Trust me you can learn a lot Of cos read a good coment where readers a brutaly honest and a spams My native isitn english Do a dont wach a gramars As long a can read it and unerstand Im okey Dont take offens but i belive if you want to be a beter author Then you need to work a lot
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please update because i love your story , so PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE update
Reveal Spoiler Ironically that I am giving my own book a review but I have something important for all to know... I am currently 12 years old. It's 2018. I am in school so I usually only release 2 chapters in each holiday but sometimes I write in math class... As a 12 year old I this is my first time writing a proper book. Each chapter I write should have slightly more words than the last. I accept all comments but no spam. Thank you for reading my book.
Now that it's been a year I'm honestly quite sad that only 26 chapters has been written. Time flies when you're bored. Anyways I just wanted to say that I spent some money (I totally didn't cry) and bought grammarly premium and some apps along with a bunch of writing utensils which will greatly increase the quality of my work. Although the release rate is still quite low since I have a life to live and homework to burn, I still try and write when I have enough motivation (I've been banned from red bull because I'm in puberty and I can no longer fly) Special thanks to Tam123 And our MHA friend Deku for following me all the way to chapter 26 already. I'm really glad. Now that I'm back in London I just have to finish a quick chess tournament and I will start releasing again. Well, enough of this 140 character+ review and time to start writing!