Chapter 30: #
TO FORGET THE SELF - TO REMEMBER THE SELF:
ARE THESE TWO DIFFERENT PATHS OR, IN SOME WAY, ARE THEY THE SAME?
They are the same, just different expressions. One can say something positively; one can say the same thing negatively. But they both are saying the same. Remembering the self, the self will disappear. The more you remember, the more you will find it is not there.
Forgetting the self is the same. You are beyond yourself; don't cling to your "I", to your ego, to your personality. Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage, and the whole sky is yours. Open your wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
Before we enter into our meditation, I have to wake up all those who have fallen asleep by now.
Dodoski and Nerdski are sitting in the local jail charged with disturbing the peace and being drunk and disorderly.
That afternoon, Sergeant Crapski takes the boys to a big field to do some civic duty work while they serve their time.
"Okay," says the cop. "Like I told you guys before, you can start digging that trench."
The officer gives a shovel to each of them, points vaguely out at the ten-acre lot, and then walks away.
Nerdski looks around for a while, then turning to Dodoski says, "Dig what trench? I don't see any trench."
... Do any of you see?
Nerdski is out of work so he goes up to Beverly Hills. He goes around from mansion to mansion, offering to do odd jobs. Finally, at one huge estate, Nerdski knocks on the door.
"Got any work you need doing?" he asks.
"What can you do?" asks the owner.
"I'm a really good painter," replies Nerdski.
"Great!" says the man, handing him a can of green paint. "You can go round the back and paint the porch green. It is pretty big, so it will probably take you all day."
But two hours later, Nerdski knocks again at the front door. "I've finished that porch," he tells the owner.
"Wow," says the man. "That was really fast."
"No problem for me," says Nerdski proudly. "I'm a professional."
"Okay," says the man. "Here is your money."
"Thanks," says Nerdski and turns to leave. "By the way," he adds. "That's not a porch, it's a Ferrari!"
Kowalski is on holiday in a small town in the Italian Alps. After a few lonely nights he begins to feel the need for a woman. So he asks the local bartender how to find the ladies of the town.
"We gotta no prostitutes," replies the bartender. "The priest-a would never allow it. But the thing-a you want is-a kept out of sight."
"What have I got to do?" asks Kowalski.
The bartender explains that up in the mountains there are caves. "Go there after dark-a," he says.
"And shout-a 'Yoo-Hoo!'
into the cave. And if the lady calls back, 'Yoo-Hoo,'
you work out-a the price.
If she is busy, you get no answer."
So that night, Kowalski "Yoo-Hoo's" his way from cave to cave, but with no luck. Finally he decides to go back to town to get drunk, but at the bottom of the mountain he finds a cave that he has not seen before.
"Yoo-Hoo, Yoo-Hoo!" he shouts.
"Yoo-Hoo, Yoo-Hoo!" comes back the clear reply.
So Kowalski rushes into the cave - and is knocked flat by a train!
Jimmy is lost in the desert with two friends, Billy and Sammy. They wander around for two days, almost dying of thirst, until they come to a nunnery.
They knock on the door and the Mother Superior answers.
"Water, water, please give us water!" they groan.
"Oh, no," says the nun. "We had a man in here before. If you want to come in here for water, you have to let us cut off your pricks."
The three guys run back out into the desert. But two days later they figure that they will die anyway, so what the hell. They go back to the nunnery and say that they accept the condition.
They are brought in and the head nun takes Billy into another room. There is a short scream and then the nun comes back for Sammy. She takes him into another room and there is another, longer drawn-out, scream. But when she comes back for Jimmy, he is terrified.
"Just a minute!" he cries. "How did you cut their pricks off?"
"Simple," says the nun. "We ask them what their profession is. The first guy is a butcher, so we cut it off with a knife. The second guy is a carpenter, so we sawed it off."
At this point, Jimmy starts laughing hysterically with tears rolling down his cheeks.
"What's so funny?" asks the nun.
"You're gonna have trouble with me," laughs Jimmy. "I work for Kwality Ice Cream!"
Now ... everybody is awake.
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