Chapter 12: what am I to you?
"As for a secret,.." Lyn hesitated.
After 3 minutes, she was still hesitating.
"Can you hurry up? It's just a secret it's not like it will cost your life or something"
Is she that reluctant to share her secret with me? Devon frowned.
He actually thought they were close enough to share secrets with each other but seeing Lyn's reluctant face made Devon disappointed.
Maybe it's just my wishful thinking.
Yes, it must be...
He was convinced as he recalled how Lyn forced her to tell Greggy that he really love her hair twice despite knowing that the sight of her hair made him feel like puking. Moreover, seeing how Lyn smiled brightly at Yennie and even his dog, Ken, yet when with him, she always have the 'up to no good' glint in her eyes and sneers. To make things worse, on the first day of the term when Lyn shared her day with Yennie, Devon happened to heard what they said although it's not that he wanted to know what they're talking about, nor does he care, but they are seriously too loud that they cannot not be heard.
"YOU REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PAIR WORK THINGY? ITS GRADED FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!"
"Well Greggy said our seating is arranged by grades. Since most girls have bad grades, I need to sit with them. After all I..."
You..don't wanna sit with me...right?
That was what Devon thought Lyn would have said if she completed her sentence out aloud.
Although they were really not close at all then, it still made Devon uncomfortable knowing that the person sitting beside him does not like sitting with him.
If that was not hate, what was it?
Little did he know, Lyn will only bother pranking whoever she feels is close enough to get pranked by her and she would usually only prank someone once, but Devon broke the record.
Little did he know, Lyn pranked Devon more frequently to get his attention.
Little did he know, it's not that she doesn't like sitting with him, but that she's scared of losing him if they sat together for too long and grew closer..
"I..I have a curse with boys. Whenever I get too close to a guy, I don't know why but we will somehow grow distant and become strangers.." Lyn confessed after what seemed like eternity, biting her lip.
She's hesitating..Isn't she lying?
"Yes, Lyn, have something to say?" old mrs Greggs asked with a hint of anticipation
"uhh.. your hair is very...nice"
He recalled the first day of sitting with her and she suddenly exclaimed. When being questioned by Greggy, she also hesitated and told an obvious lie...
Moreover, the secret that she claimed to have, - isn't it too bad to be true?
Devon really did want to believe his heart and not his mind but all odds are against her.
Yet, he didn't wanna believe her completely just to get hurt tenfolds like the saying 'the higher the hope, the greater the disappointment'.
As such, Devon decided to see how will she react if what she claimed is the 'truth' actually became the truth
Wearing the cold gaze he used with strangers, he acted like they were strangers
"Who are you? Why are you sitting beside me?"
For a few seconds, she was astounded.
Is she shocked that her lie that she claimed as the 'truth' actually became the truth?
I knew it! Lyn, if you're gonna lie, can you not be so obvious? At least.. don't let me know that you're lying..
Unexpectedly, Lyn's eyes actually glistened with tears. Soon, a tear slid from her eyes as Lyn turned her body, with her back facing Devon so as to hide the tears that were about to flow out.
She wasn't lying?! All the betrayal and disappointment Devon once felt disappeared upon seeing her cry. Although Devon didn't usually like it when people cry, he was actually relieved when he saw her cry as he knew that it's not that Lyn didn't see Devon as a close friend, but rather that he was too important to her that she was afraid of losing him
"Don't cry.."
Hesitantly, Devon used his hand to wipe the tears that were threatening to fall from Lyn's eyes.
"..Actually, I was just kidding..
I didn't think that the curse of yours is true since it sounded ridiculous and that it was made up as you didn't actually want me to know your secret.." Devon continued.
"You jerk! I actually thought that my curse worked and that you'd forget about me!" Lyn sobbed even harder, punching him hard in his chests
"...sorry" that's all Devon managed to say as he allowed Lyn to hit his chest, no letting a sound out even if it hurts.
After all, he kinda deserved it.
What else can he say?
'Sorry, I needed to do this to know if you're lying to me and how close am I to you'
or that
' I'm just scared that I'm the only one thinking that we're more than just classmates, desk mates...
when you actually think that we're simply classmates and desk mates'
Never! At least, not until he's certain of how she feels.
Just imagine how embarrassing will it be to let her know that, when he's not even sure if such feelings are mutual or one-sided.
Yet, Lyn did cry...for him. No matter if she sees him as just a friend or something more, her tears proved that he is still important in her heart, and that she doesn't want to lose him, just like how he doesn't want to lose her. Yet, whenever he thought of the evidence showing that she hated her, Devon grew confused again.
Just what am I to you?
Devon really wanted to know the answer to this question, but,
now that he know that such a horrible curse exists, he's determined to help her lift that curse, be it as just a classmate, desk mate, friends, or something more...
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