Chapter 1: Dear Lucas,

Last night it changed. It was around 8 o´clock in the evening, I think. I had a tremendous headache but thought it were just the usual voices. At some time it got so bad that I must have fainted. When I woke up he took over. I was a spectator, a prisoner in my own body. I was still seeing, I was still hearing things and worst I could still feel things... God, the Feeling. But I couldn't move how I wanted or say what I wanted. I was merely a passenger of the trainwreck that was soon to ensue. You can probably understand the fear I felt from trying to move and failing. At first, I thought I had died and was now a free spirit. Then I heard myself laugh, a laugh that was alien to me but at the same time so familiar. Till this moment I thought the worst fear in life was the fear of death itself. The laugh made me, who was already in mortal agony feel a fear that was bigger than anything I have ever imagined. The monster inside my head broke out of its cage. Although I knew he was evil I didn't know anything about him. I left the house while you were sleeping upstairs. At first, I thought he was only wandering aimlessly, but after about ten minutes I realized where we were going and my fear, which my cold rationality calmed down a bit by now, started to grow again. Every step he took seemed like an eternity. Every step he took made my fear grow. Every step he took, my guess of our destination became certainty. I wished for a physical form, where I could faint from fear and stop my actions. But he kept walking, laughing to himself. Looking back, I think he could feel my fear and that he could hear my screams. I fear it was what made him laugh all that time. I don't know how long it took, but we ended up in a back ally. I knew who was coming. When she arrived I felt the despair like never before. My wife looked surprised at me: "Honey? Why you're here? Didn't you say you would wait at home?" We walked closer like we would give her a hug. Suddenly he pulled a knife. In an instant and a flash of a knife, she was stabbed. It was at this moment, I regained control. Holding my dying wife in my arms and hearing the echo of my laugh. I felt a mix of sadness, despair and lingering fear while I put her down slowly. Fate didn't want to let us part in peace, so the moment she touched the ground I heard myself laughing madly again.