dark dad jokes

Raze Cromwell was one who had suffered his entire life. A cruel upbringing that had forced his nature to turn sour. In order to survive, he did everything and anything he could, eventually giving him the name Dark Magus. A title that was only given to the very best of mages. “Everything in this world was taken from me, So I shall take everything from the world.” The five Supreme Magus had gathered to eliminate the great Raze, on his last legs, the Dark Magus had one more trick up his sleeve. Activating a forbidden spell, he finds himself living in another world, a world full of martial artists. A world where one could destroy mountain tops with their fist, but Magic still exists in the new world, and he’s the only one that knows about it. **** Note: Raze Cromwell is a character who briefly appears in My vampire system. (For 2 Chapters) There is no need to read My vampire system. Since this story is based on Raze before he became what he was in vampire system. Instagram: JKSManga Discord: jksmanga https://discord.gg/jksmanga

She had always assumed that her newlywed husband, with his staggering wealth, lacked the ability to procreate, so she was completely unguarded around him, failing to notice that someone's gaze was off... “I like women, our genders aren't compatible, let's get a divorce...” Su Xingyue came up with all sorts of reasons to divorce him, but Nan Yuling decisively, accurately, and ruthlessly cut off all her potential suitors, ensuring that she could only be spoiled by him alone! Besides that, he tirelessly proved it to her in person... Therefore, one day, Mrs. Nan, unable to bear the hardship, ran away from home once again... [He made pampering her a cage, imprisoning his love for her for a lifetime...]

Catastrophe erupted, it was the end of the world. Survivors were surrounded by the impregnable wall, a new order was established... The desire for power, faith, and darkness pervaded each other, layer upon layer of brands imprinted in every corner of the heart. The virus wreaked havoc, were these humans' true colors? "I unexpectedly survive, I want to live." –Du Dian

When Kyran turned 18, his life turned upside down. The Royal Army raided his clan because his supposedly non-existent magic got exposed. On that fateful night, he was the only one who escaped. Up to the present, the status of his clan was unknown. A magic inheritance that became a curse, Kyran became a fugitive. Always on the run... living in fear when the Royal Army finally captures him. At least that's what most people thought... "I'll definitely save my family. And I will make all those who made my clan suffer pay tenfold. I'll make use of this magic they so feared, and show them what real terror is...." Disclaimer: The cover image isn't mine. I'll replace it when I finished mine.

Wanna see short videos of your characters, check out discord at the end of the synopsis Warning: Many, like way many lemons and smuts. C'mon guys, you know it's gonna be a good one there's no need to read the synopsis and everything down here, but for context, you can go on but the potential is the first ten chapters, it won't hurt to give it a go, just try it and then thank me later, oh, I will be the one to thank you I guess. See you on the other side. Let's goooo Infinity Money and Endless Smut, lemons. Only the good goode things... Also check out my review in the reviews section. ___ Peter Carter is a 16-year-old orphaned virgin nerd who gets bullied daily at Lincoln High. His escort mother died at birth, he lives with his nurse mom and twin sisters, and his biggest achievement is surviving lunch without getting his ass kicked by quarterback Jack Morrison. ___ Human! That's what I fucking was. Me and Tommy were bottom-tier NPCs in everyone else's highlight reel. All I did was study and jack off to porn, fantasizing about women I'd never touch—Madison Torres, Mrs. Rodriguez, Sofia Delgado. They existed in a universe where I didn't even register as human. But then everything changed. [DING! You have Awakened the Dark Lord Seduction System!] A system born from the sexual frustration of hundreds of thousands if not billions of women worldwide, my mission was clear: liberate sexually neglected wives, daughters, unsatisfied hot students, my gym instructor, CEOs, frustrated teachers, and touch-starved women while earning System Points that convert to real money (1 SP = $100). [DING! Abilities gained: Magical Fingers, enhanced stats, master-level skills... ... Advanced Knowledge downloaded: Master Driving, Massage God, Advanced IT...] The system transformed me from school punching bag to irresistible seductive Dark Lord. Every intimate milestone earns SP—from first kisses to full encounters, cucking husbands saving their neglected wives, widows, wives and mistresses of billionaires while walking on the tight edge of seduction and eventual death if I got discovered by these rich guys I was helping satisfy the wives they'd neglected. Now I'm living a double life: shy nerd by day, dominant seducer by night, making bank while giving desperate women what they've been missing. From bottom-tier loser to supernatural playboy. I turn these neglected women into my women, mine alone as we unleash our hidden desires and forbidden intimacies. — Discord server: https://discord.gg/XvZdpUCNZp

“Do you want to know how this works?” he whispered. “Yes!” I gasped in response to his tug on my hair. “I want to know.” “Yes, what?” he asked, causing my mind to swirl with the realization of what he was into. “Yes, sir. I can be a good girl.” **** For Becca, going to Miami brought up old childhood memories with her best friend, Tally. She needed the break after a rough year attending Yale and a break-up with her boyfriend, Chad. She didn’t expect for her summer of fun to include sleeping with James, the Italian Stallion–Tally’s father. Knowing it’s wrong, she allows James to pull her into a vortex of pleasure that has her breaching the surface of reality and grasping for survival. Can Becca endure this pleasure without Tally finding out? Or will her secrets cause her world to crash around her? Submitting to My Best Friend’s Dad is created by Scarlett Rossi, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

For money, Jin Jumo "signed" herself to the business tycoon Rong Mochen, for a period of one year. Upon their first meeting, the man's voice was icy, "I like women who keep their place, understand?" "Yes." Jin Jumo nodded lightly. So, Jin Jumo always adhered to her place, tightly locking her heart away, never crossing the line. If there was anything in her relationship with Rong Mochen that Jin Jumo hadn't anticipated, it would be... --- "Mr. Rong, our contract expired a week ago." Jin Jumo lightly curved her lips, giving a smile that didn't reach her eyes as she looked at the man in front of her. "So?" "So, Mr. Rong, are you playing rogue now?" Jin Jumo gritted her teeth. "Hmm..." Rong Mochen frowned, leisurely raising his head to look at Jin Jumo, "Is my daughter behaving well in your belly?" "It's not even two months, how do you know it's definitely a daughter..." Wait... Jin Jumo's eyes widened in terror, she hadn't told him she was pregnant... Rumor had it, a car accident targeting Z City tycoon Rong Mochen resulted in the death of a seven-month-pregnant woman. Rumor had it, after the accident, the Rong Family's president underwent a drastic change, becoming ruthless and fierce from being coldly indifferent. Rumor had it, the person killed in the accident was the person closest to Rong Mochen's heart. --- Four years later. "Brother, do we really need to find a new boyfriend for Mommy?" The little bun bit his chubby fingers, looking at the little boy beside him who was slightly taller. "Yes." The boy squinted, his gaze coldly fixed on the televised global sensation of the Rong Family's president's luxurious engagement ceremony. "But didn't Brother say that the old man named Rong is our real dad?" Jin Jumo, who had just stepped into the house, was nearly collapsing inside. How did the two little guys know Rong Mochen was...

Seven years ago, Eleanor Sterling was framed and humiliated by her treacherous sister, resulting in the birth of a child with an unknown father. Seven years later, she returns with her adorable child and numerous disguises to seek revenge and sweep away all wicked foes. However, she unexpectedly finds herself entangled with two persistent individuals. Little Sticky Bun: "Mommy, it's buy one, get one free!" Big Sticky Bun traps her in his embrace, gritting his teeth: "Hacked my account?" Eleanor Sterling: "Alaric, let me explain." The man then brings out the two children, "Stole my genes?" Eleanor grits her teeth; the man who ruined her reputation years ago was him? Alaric Faulkner carries her to bed, "One stolen, punished tenfold, give me another to compensate!"

For ten thousand years, the invincible Emperor Xu Lai, descends to the Earth and takes on the role of a stay-at-home dad. Anyone who dares to bully his daughter would face his wrath! Xu Lai asked, "My dear daughter, when you look up, what do you see?" "Nighttime, the stars." "That's not just the stars, it's the empire I've built for you. In the future, you'll rule over billions of galaxies, you'll be the Empress of the Immortal Realm!" "Dad, you're bragging again. You can't even give me a little brother or sister," Xu Yiyi pouted. "..."

In the depths of Tobaballe, Nin Urtuan is working as hard as he can to rise up. But with so much competition, it seems like only luck will get you a better life. One day, in a seemingly unfortunate turn of events where he runs into the voluptuous and mysterious Spire-Lord, Iishar Ho. Taking Nin with her, she shows him a secret within the Crown, a means to get ahead. The path of least resistance is so enamouring.  Setting out for the shores of the Molten Sea, at the base of the holy Anvil-Peak Mountain, Nin loses himself in the wonder of it. Behind his back, another deal unfolds, luck not for him, but for those high above in the Crown. A slaver of an unknown, spine-quilled race shoots him unconscious. The slaver loads him up, ready to ship Nin and so many others off to Jherikra.  A land of towering mountains, emerald winds, arcane beauty and monstrous horror! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vol 5 Rewrite going on. (Multi-PoV, 1st Person) For reference: (If a chapter is marked with a ---- before Base, Incline or Peak, it means it is being edited throughout the day.)