What are some of the funniest religious jokes stories you know?
Once, a bishop was visiting a remote parish. He noticed a parrot in the corner of the church that kept saying, 'Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!' The bishop was very impressed and asked the priest how he had trained the parrot. The priest said, 'Well, it took some time. Every time the parrot said something bad, I put it in the freezer for a few minutes. After a while, it learned to say positive religious phrases.' The bishop was about to leave when he heard the parrot say, 'Hey, if you let that old guy out, I'll tell you where the cookies are!' This shows a humorous take on the idea of 'training' in a religious context and the parrot's unexpected outburst.
There was a nun who was also a very talented artist. She painted a beautiful picture of the Virgin Mary. She showed it to the mother superior who said, 'Sister, this is wonderful, but you know we don't have much money. Maybe you could paint some of the saints without their halos and we can sell them as portraits of normal people.' So the nun painted a few more pictures. When the mother superior saw them, she gasped, 'Sister! You painted the halos on the wrong heads!' This joke humorously plays with the religious imagery and the nun's well - meaning but slightly bumbling attempt at following the mother superior's advice.
A little boy was in church with his mother when he started feeling ill. 'Mommy,' he said, 'can we leave now?' 'No,' his mother replied. 'Well, I think I have to throw up!' the boy said. The mother told him, 'Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.' After about sixty seconds, the boy returned to his seat. 'Did you throw up?' his mother asked. 'Yes,' he replied. 'How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?' his mother asked. 'I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'" This joke is funny as it shows the child's innocent misunderstanding of the religious item (collection box) in the church.
Can you share some funny religious jokes stories?
In a small village, there was a very pious old woman. She always prayed loudly. One day, her neighbor said, 'You don't have to shout. God has good ears.' The old woman replied, 'I know, but the devil has bad ears and I want him to know I'm not on his side.' This joke plays on the idea of the battle between good and evil in religious beliefs and the old woman's determination to show her allegiance to God in a rather comical way.
What are some of the funniest new year jokes and stories?
Joke: What's a New Year's resolution for a math teacher? To stop going off on tangents! It's funny because math teachers are often known for getting a bit carried away with extra explanations that might not be directly related to the main topic, and a New Year's resolution to stop that is quite humorous.
What are the funniest best Irish jokes stories?
A priest in Ireland was driving down a country road when a policeman stopped him. The priest asked, 'Is there a problem, officer?' The policeman replied, 'You were speeding, Father.' The priest said, 'Oh, forgive me, I was daydreaming about my sermon.' The policeman said, 'Well, I'll let you off with a warning, but next time, slow down.' The priest drove off slowly. A few miles down the road, the policeman saw the priest's car pulled over. He walked up and asked, 'Is there a problem, Father?' The priest said, 'I'm not sure, I just stopped to give this rosary a speeding ticket.' This is a funny play on the priest's piety and the situation of getting a speeding ticket.
Collect the funniest jokes you think!
I don't know how to tell jokes, but I can give you some advice on how to write a novel. I hope it will help you!
What are some of the funniest real life jokes stories you've heard?
At a family gathering, my uncle was trying to open a jar of pickles. He struggled for ages, using towels for grip and everything. Finally, he gave up and said, 'These pickles are clearly not meant to be eaten today. They must be on a hunger strike.' It had the whole family in stitches. There's something about the way he just gave up and made that joke that was really funny. And it was a moment that everyone could relate to, because we've all had those times when we just can't open something no matter how hard we try.
What are some of the funniest Haitian stories you know?
In Haiti, there was an old lady who had a very talkative parrot. One day, the parrot started repeating all the gossip it had heard in the neighborhood. The lady was so embarrassed, but at the same time, it was really funny as the parrot was imitating the voices of different people perfectly. Everyone who heard the parrot couldn't stop laughing. This became a very popular story in the village.
What are some of the funniest money stories you know?
A family went on a trip and they were counting their money at the hotel. Their little daughter took all the coins and started building a 'coin tower'. She was so proud of it. But then, she accidentally knocked it over and coins went everywhere. They all ended up laughing while trying to pick up the coins from under the beds and sofas. It was a really funny family money - related moment.
What are some of the funniest Aussie stories you know?
There was an Aussie farmer who had a pet emu. One day, the emu chased the mailman all around the farm. The mailman was running for his life while the emu flapped its wings and made strange noises. It was quite a sight.
What are some of the funniest beard stories you know?
There was a bearded fellow who was an actor. He was playing a wizard in a local theater production. During one performance, his false beard started to come off. Instead of panicking, he improvised and made it part of the act, saying that his magic was so powerful it was making his beard fly away. The audience loved it.
What are some of the funniest WCW stories you know?
One of the funny WCW stories was about a wrestler who was known for his tough - guy image. But during a backstage segment, a small puppy wandered onto the set. This tough wrestler immediately melted and started playing with the puppy, completely breaking his character. The contrast between his on - screen persona and his reaction to the puppy was really amusing.