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What are some of the funniest religious jokes stories you know?

2024-11-08 11:08
2024-11-08 12:02

A little boy was in church with his mother when he started feeling ill. 'Mommy,' he said, 'can we leave now?' 'No,' his mother replied. 'Well, I think I have to throw up!' the boy said. The mother told him, 'Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.' After about sixty seconds, the boy returned to his seat. 'Did you throw up?' his mother asked. 'Yes,' he replied. 'How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?' his mother asked. 'I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'" This joke is funny as it shows the child's innocent misunderstanding of the religious item (collection box) in the church.

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Once, a bishop was visiting a remote parish. He noticed a parrot in the corner of the church that kept saying, 'Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!' The bishop was very impressed and asked the priest how he had trained the parrot. The priest said, 'Well, it took some time. Every time the parrot said something bad, I put it in the freezer for a few minutes. After a while, it learned to say positive religious phrases.' The bishop was about to leave when he heard the parrot say, 'Hey, if you let that old guy out, I'll tell you where the cookies are!' This shows a humorous take on the idea of 'training' in a religious context and the parrot's unexpected outburst.

There was a nun who was also a very talented artist. She painted a beautiful picture of the Virgin Mary. She showed it to the mother superior who said, 'Sister, this is wonderful, but you know we don't have much money. Maybe you could paint some of the saints without their halos and we can sell them as portraits of normal people.' So the nun painted a few more pictures. When the mother superior saw them, she gasped, 'Sister! You painted the halos on the wrong heads!' This joke humorously plays with the religious imagery and the nun's well - meaning but slightly bumbling attempt at following the mother superior's advice.

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