Minor grammar mistakes, terrible story structure. Make it easy to see that Scenes have ended by adding some kind of spacing or something different after the previous paragraph.
This book has been deleted.
You use 'these' for thoughts. "Full quotes" are for speech while 'half quotes' are for thoughts.
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Movies · thelightedghost
Yuck, not off to a good start.
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Anime & Comics · A_strange_man
Jeffrey Epstein is that you?
For the last three nights, we had been falling asleep like this, comforting each other into sleep. This wasn't how I envisioned our relationship to develop. I let her too close.
Anime & Comics · Draugzel
Your writing and character design are very, very good. Top tier. Spelling and grammar are top-tier. You've changed the story enough that you're not just copying the source material. But haven't added CYOA or blatant out-of-universe powers. Well worth the read. Well done.
Arifureta: God of Extinction
Anime & Comics · Depraved_Chap