Crochety old bean reading and writing books.
2023-07-09 Joined Global
Great story author, I. enjoying it a lot. A little bit of clean up is needed I'm this passage, though. You've got some repeated sentences.
"How are you feeling today? Is the dizziness better?" Jones asked some routine questions as usual. I answered him briefly, but I kept thinking back to the night when Damon threw the negatives on me and walked away. Luna didn't know how to react either. She had witnessed my humbleness in front of Damon for ten years. She always thought Damon treated me like an enemy. She stood up and said to me, "I'm going to go think." After she left, I was alone in the room, holding the negatives and sinking into deep thought. I felt like I was in a dream. Could it be that I misunderstood Damon? Could it be that he wasn't as cold and heartless as I thought? These thoughts were swirling in my mind, and I didn't know what to do. Luna was also confused. She had witnessed my humbleness in front of Damon for ten years. She always thought that Damon was treating me like an enemy. She stood up and said to me, "I'm going to think about it." I was left alone in the room, holding the negatives, immersed in my thoughts. I felt like I was in a dream. Could it be that I misunderstood Damon? Could it be that he wasn't as cold and heartless as I thought? These thoughts were swirling in my mind, and I didn't know what to do. Was it possible that everything I thought about Damon was wrong? That he wasn't as cruel and indifferent as I thought? My mind was a mess. I took a deep breath and tried to sort out my thoughts. Damon had helped me, and he did it for my sake, not for any benefit. This was a fact that I couldn't deny. But what about everything else? What about all the humiliation and indifference I had experienced? I felt like I was stuck in a maze, unable to find the exit. The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Maybe I needed some time to figure it out. Maybe I needed to talk to Damon. Or maybe I just needed some space to clear my head. In the end, I decided to keep the negatives and wait. Wait for the right time, wait for Damon, wait for the truth. Perhaps, in the end, everything would be clear, "Think about what?" Jones asked, his hands shoved nonchalantly into the pockets of his white coat, a pair of handsome eyes visible above the face mask. His voice was slightly muffled due to the mask, but it was still utterly captivating. "Think about… what to eat later," Luna blurted out randomly before she hightailed it out of there. "You're getting a divorce?" Jones always had a knack for delivering the most shocking news in the most casual way. I froze, staring at him, "How did you know? Did Damon tell you?" He shrugged, "Yeah, he spilled the beans. It was the night you had your accident. Ariel was there too." Just a moment ago, I was feeling guilty for misunderstanding Damon. But Jones's words quickly wiped out that guilt. Damon apparently wanted the divorce too, or why else would he tell his friends? He was a man of his word. If he said he was going to divorce, then he definitely would. I bowed my head, "Yes, we're getting a divorce. I decided not to take any of his property in the divorce as a thank you for him saving me." Jones, with a hint of amusement in his voice, said, "Congrats." "Congrats on my divorce?" I glared at him, "Maybe you should save your congratulations for when I remarry."
Urban · black_flowertrend
Great story 👏
ch 25 CHAPTER 25
Urban · black_flowertrend
remove
As requested, here's the rewritten text with corrected spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors:
Urban · S.E. Saunders
weird sentence structure here
I remember looking outside wondering why Snowball wouldn't go back into her doghouse. I wandered out to see what was going on and found her with two puppies under her. I scooped them up and then picked her up (she was a large white husky) under her front legs. I think about it now, and I sweat a little. She could have bitten my face off what with her giving birth, and the weather which would have scared her.
Urban · S.E. Saunders
Lovely word picture!
The glass doors at the front of the hospital opened wide and spewed me out into a brand-new world.
Sci-fi · Devilbesideyou666
Interesting premise, and great start. Can't wait to read more.
ch 0 2 Was This Hell?
Sci-fi · Devilbesideyou666
Thanks, I've never heard of it being left open. Let down, undone or loose, or untied sure.
She took a step back when he came close to her. It didn't stop him from cornering her, and her back hit the wall behind her. He raised his hand towards her face, and she closed her eyes, scared. She shuddered when his fingers trail down from her temple and her jaw and neck. Her blonde hair was left open.
Fantasy · ash_knight17
See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola
ch 0 5 Chapter 5 Today is the 15th
General · Mr. Yan
I am enjoying your story immensely, author, but I am having an issue suspending reality in this scene. Any person, upon discovering they've been shot in the head or having a wound upon their head, would tend to it first with a sense of urgency. As always, your story is your own, and you may write it as you wish, but this took me out of what was a very captivating scene.
This time, he seriously inspected his temple and did not miss a single detail.
Fantasy · Cuttlefish That Loves Diving
This is a very real phenomenon. It's cognitive dissonance produced by abuse. All too often, women excuse this over and over making themselves question what they already know.
"In the end, I only love you, Evangeline. So be a good girl, alright?" The words hit her hard. Was she a fool to want to take revenge? Was all this really normal and it was her exaggerating the accident? She felt her chest tightening but she closed her eyes and did not whisper a word.
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
One of the things I was told about introducing new characters is that they can feel abrupt to the reader. You show that they're family in this chapter. They have past history, but we've seen none of this struggle in the preceding chapters. This can be easily fixed by having her send him a letter he throws away or stews angrily over. This way, the character is not unknown to your reader.
"So you returned." she smiled with a mocking glare on her face but his stoic eyes did not flicker.
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
So true. So very true.
Or did he think that she would still melt if he would just smile at her like a dog carving for attention? How delusional!
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
For clarity sake, the word made would be the correct one instead of taken. ❤️
"Do you understand why I have taken this decision now?" She sighed, she had already given up on this man when she had decided to marry Damien. They why tears were still pouring out of her eyes like a broken dam.
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
Great story still, but one does not take a decision. They make one. That's my only nit so far! Can't wait to read more.
"Do you understand why I have taken this decision now?" She sighed, she had already given up on this man when she had decided to marry Damien. They why tears were still pouring out of her eyes like a broken dam.
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
Excellent story!
ch 0 2 Ready For Her Death Certificate
Fantasy · Fallen_meteor
Not to mention the whole back pocket man thing...
This paragraph has been deleted.
Urban · MegMerrilies
timing?
It was where I first spotted Nis on the fringes, his eyes too curious for someone who belonged to this high society gathering. I followed his gaze, noting it mirrored how I had scrutinized the attendees when I first entered.
Urban · MegMerrilies
trail?
When I lived there, one zoomed out of a set of newly built cupboards and straight out at my face when I opened one of the doors. Another I found circling an old metallic garbage bin. Having faced rats in the trail in my childhood, this seemed perfectly normal. I suppose I should get to the point where this story lives up to its title. See, I didn't know this house was thought of as a haunted house. Until I started going to a school called North Edmonton Elementary. It might have been one of my friends that said:
Urban · S.E. Saunders
So many men fail to cherish the woman until she has given up on him.
"Then why didn't you cherish her? Do you know her "-Nicholas almost gave up the secret.
The Reborn Wife Of The Tyrant CEO
Urban · black_flowertrend