Webnovel Author: TriadBrew - Novel Collection

Read through the first ten chapters. I could see myself getting into the story more should the author take some time to clean up the first few chapters. There are huge blocks of text that build up things and often there are rapid system dialog flying past you. The interactions with the character and the system are what you would expect. There isn't much deviation from what I would see in the genre which left me wanting more. As far as the dialogue between characters it feels very robotic and stiff at times, where a lot of the characters don't have their own personalities and mimic the same tonality or response structure of others. I would relate this to something like "The Room". "Oh, Hi mark." "Hey dave." "How is your day going". Very one dimensional. The actual writing itself doesn't have many grammar mistakes, which was good since it made reading easier, but there are some sentence structure issues. I think you would benefit from something like Grammarly pro to help with this, and the huge walls of text. That said I hope the story continues to grow and can flourish from these suggestions!

It's a really good story that follows the idea of jumping back in time. Even though it's a common novel idea, the author still manages to draw you into the world. The itemization and quests along with the fame system are well balanced and believable. The writing of the environment also paints a grand picture of the game in your mind. The only thing I would note is that it has a slow start to the story, taking around seven chapters before you even get into the time jump. So if you can stick around for that then you're in for a good ride!

The world design and story is well laid out. The characters have personality which draw you further into the storyline, which can be a little fast paced, so strap in. For the author, I would suggest re-reading through and making the dialogue a little less stiff, or more natural, by breaking up the dialogue with action tags and replacing words like them or there with more dynamic verbiage. I think this is one thing that's making the pacing feel rushed in some places. I'm looking forward to seeing the aura system being more fleshed out!

It has a good start to be on the same plane as stories like the Expanse or other ones in the genre. The only thing that feels like it is holding the story back is the character development and dialogue at times that feels stiff or out of place. However the progresssion and narration is good. Even the perspec swaps don’t feel off beat. Looking forward to next releases.

Stayed because of the opening wholesome childhood story. Currently on chapter four right now and I had to stop to write this review! Because, Ren! What a lad. Excited to continue reading the next chapters! Only feedback is to work a little bit on breaking up those large paragraphs!

It was hard getting through the some of the male's actions! But the female lead kept me around! The pacing is a little rough in the beginning but it gets better later on as you progress through this beautiful romantic story filled with lots of great face-slapping and burns. Still halfway through but excited about the next few chapters!

The book has a good framing for the era and the storyline is well thought out. However a lot of it is just brain dumped directly on you in the very beginning rather how it is in real life, a more natural progression like peeling back the layers of an onion. The characters that get introduced do seem to have their own personality but they feel a bit stiff in nature especially around descriptions and conversations which are have common fillers or are very "go here, take this, do that"-esque. Some tend to be somewhat unnatural for the settings where talking about other characters in relation to the MC. Overall, I have enjoyed the story so far and look forward to seeing what gets written next!

Just dropping this to say that this is my first time ever writing. I will try to flesh out the plot a bit more over time. Many mysteries to be expressed. Thank you if you read. I hope you enjoy.