Webnovel Author: vorlefan - Novel Collection

vorlefan

vorlefan

male LV 2

Check out my first novel, Traveller's Will: https://www.webnovel.com/book/traveller's-will_25553012106498105

2018-12-28 Joined Brazil

Badges 6

Moments 563

vorlefan
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vorlefan
Commented

The man must be very angry to do with a coffee mug xD

Before the Editor's assistant can finish her report, the Editor's face got more irritated and slammed her coffee mug at the table.

Saving 100,000 USD With My Ero-Novel

Saving 100,000 USD With My Ero-Novel

Urban · UelUel

vorlefan
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vorlefan
Replied to Tls13

You're welcome :)

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Decontaminative aim

Decontaminative aim

Urban · Tls13

vorlefan
Posted

This was truly refreshing to read. It's "warm" it puts a smile in your face. My biggest issue is the writing, that needs polishing in both structure-wise, and how the style itself in the sense of pacing-flow. For this I recommend you to read more known books, like The Name of the Wind. I hope you go well with your story, all in all, keep up the good work.

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vorlefan
Commented

Tip: when its thoughts, use the 'italic' in the editor, because its known globally to indicate thoughts

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vorlefan
Commented

Tip: "Calling a mother to her child to have breakfast" sounds a bit weird, maybe: In fact, you don't need this sentence for two motives: Mother is already mentioned in the dialogue, and breakfast too.

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