This is such a sad chapter but a great one at best, so keep with a good work.
該書已被刪除。
These three sentences need to be eliminated, and the second one needs to be rewritten as "You'll see for yourself."
該書已被刪除。
These two sentences should be eliminated.
該書已被刪除。
Replace exclamation mark with question mark.
該書已被刪除。
Italics, not quotation marks.
該書已被刪除。
Another great chapter.
該書已被刪除。
The next two dialogues needs to be together.
該書已被刪除。
All three dialogues needs to be combined in one.
該書已被刪除。
Space
該書已被刪除。
This story is quite interesting for me to read and I quite liked it. The only problems I have with it are the grammar; everything else is great and keep up with a good work.