Ignatius_King

another thing I wanted to say is, you’re a very talented and great writer, your imagery and scene building as well as your overall writing style are impeccable, you have one of the best opening styles I’ve ever read before, so I think you need to envision asher not as a character who you can control and make win and lose and hurt without regard for the plot or powerscaling or what he himself represents, you need to think of him as a genuine person with his own thoughts and actions and abilities, you need to envision his goals and what he could achieve, you have to keep in mind you have created an a person, if he loses a battle, it shouldn’t be because the plot needs him to lose or because you think he needs to lose to develop but because he himself lost, you can’t force things, you’re an incredible writer and artist and your novel has immense potential so don’t waste it

firstly if you’re gonna drop a story for months, don’t expect readers to come back, secondly asher is the protagonist and should be the main focus of the story, but with that being said we should be able to see his relationships and ideas and principles and all that other stuff through his pov, you shouldn’t be switching povs so much unless you need to truly convey something through said characters pov, 3rd I like asher and his character and how strong he is, that should be a very important role of his development, he should want to discover more stuff about himself and his abilities and his limitations as well as his strengths, he should want to explore all avenues of strength and bettering himself and his capabilities, 4th morals and deep thinking about his actions should definitely play a big part in this story as he is a vampire, immortal, and he can take the strength of others through drinking their blood, he should be thinking about controlling himself and limiting himself like a kryptonian would, he should always be vigilant and making sure he is in control, him losing control is a parallel that I would love to see, and with that I got all my points out, I hope to see more of this story from you author