You know. I completely understand this and have come to a decision. I made a lot of mistakes since this is my first story and I’d very much like to correct them. So I will be creating a new story with a different protagonist but the same concepts such as the king Cadidates and what not as even I’m frustrated with my horrible pacing problems. I hope you can at least try that one once it comes out and I very much thank you for voicing your criticism as it really does do a lot to help. I’m very sorry about this. (Truth is I had already noticed the bad pacing but since I didn’t get any comments criticizing it I sort of gas lit myself into thinking it was mostly in my head due to my constant second guessing of my actions.)
Though I mostly did that since I really wanted what happens during the “Auction Confrontation Arc” to hit as HARD as possible.
I keep emphasizing it because it’s a huge flaw that she indeed is not doing anything about… flaws like this are crippling and we’re right about to reach the arc where all of her flaws that she seems to refuse to work on are going to come back to bite her and those around her. Her unwillingness to put her all into training. Her willing ignorance at what the other king candidates are planning. Her lack of impulse control. Her constantly running away from thinking about the future. And even her arrogance. We’re like RIGHT THERE. The fall from grace, the true start of the hero’s journey. The call to action. Her weaknesses are only piling up more and more and yet she’s still for the most part Ignoring it. Luck can’t save her forever. Though I understand if you still want to drop the story, I myself have realized that I’m foreshadowing a lot of stuff far too much and if I could go back I’d definitely try cutting ALOT of the fluff since I could do those characterizations and focused stories during canon.
Indeed she hasn’t gotten much better since chapter one. She’ll start improving once she stops hesitating when it comes to thinking about the future. Which is to say…. When she’s properly forced too…
That’s a good thought though falling doesn’t work exactly like that in this story, it is still a bit strange that she can act like that…
"YOUUU BIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHH!!!!" She screamed swinging her bat down towards Cebrail's head mercilessly.
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta
Hmm? I have never been one to confirm nor deny anything~
"Hey! What are you doing you stupid boy!" Riko took off her shoe and threw it at the boy. "Stop ogling at Big Sis Brail! She's a PRINCE! A LADY KILLER! PRIME YURI MATERIAL!!!!!"
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta
I’m sorry friend…
"Tsk. Why must we look for this lackadaisical woman every day?" The next child asked bitterly and with great hostility in his voice. He was a boy with somewhat neatly kept light blue hair and angry blue eyes, his mouth completely set into a frown.
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta
That... is almost as shiny as Krillin's head.
"Obviously so that we can see more Yuri scenes!" The next child chastised slamming her fist into the back of the boy's head. She was the most normal looking of the three with long brown hair that nearly reached her back and bright big green eyes. Her most distinguishing feature was the fact that with her bangs being held back by a hairpin her forehead looked very much like a fivehead.
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta
I'll be her all day. Thank you~
"Tsk. Why must we look for this lackadaisical woman every day?" The next child asked bitterly and with great hostility in his voice. He was a boy with somewhat neatly kept light blue hair and angry blue eyes, his mouth completely set into a frown.
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta
Truth be told that was the whole point however I can see how unsatisfying it is for it to take so long so I completely get you.
Seraphim Princess of DXD
Anime & Comics · Lambhendelta