Joann_Laws

LV 4
2021-04-11 加入 Global
徽章 10

Moments 13
Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
1 months ago
Commented

Well so far the book is pretty good so good job. However your chapters are really, really short and the repetitive end paragraph is lengthy and unwarranted. It should only be stated at minimum every 10 chapters. This would make your chapters even shorter, so sad so short, others books could fix 15 or 20 of your chapters into one of their chapters.

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
1 months ago
Commented

Why didn't Garan get upset? After all wasn't Cain the one he fought with for being a terrorist and hurting Athea, back in second grade? Garan already fought with Cain anf that sneaky ba**ered got away. Now he's back let the fun begin

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
3 months ago
Commented

A pretty confusing chapter. The lawyer? A husband then a girl then a guy again what is Rainie?

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
7 months ago
Commented

Wei bought an ox cart where is it. Why didn't they use their own it's supposed to be parked in front of the house. Why get someone else cart and why don't they use they animals they have to pull goods.

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
7 months ago
Commented

No proof reading and have not read your comments as a writer you should be able to grow from your experiences. I hope you have time to fix this so too enhance your book and readers views.

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
11 months ago
Commented

cool the dad was there fishing too

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
1 years ago
Commented

Well I think that's a little crazy he was a Virgin when he slept with xia ru but now he is a rapist of so many women why?

Joann_Laws
Joann_Laws
1 years ago
Commented

It is a good read thank you, but all you ask for is gifts! You want, you want, you want. No mention of a thanks or hope you enjoy a very negative atmosphere from the author.

Joann_Laws