Aegis_16

LV 4
2020-12-17 加入 Global
徽章 5

Moments 63
Aegis_16
Aegis_16
11 months ago
Commented

femme Fatale! nice!

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
11 months ago
Commented

it's either "demon empress" or "demoness emperor". you don't need female gender version of both words to identify one individual.

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

writing for this story has already been completed AFAIK. it would be interesting on how the boys try to get Amy. she is smart enough to figure out something is amiss, particularly since these guys had issues with Alan before. it shouldn't work unless she falls into the trap because of her friends.

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

Your immortal titles are pretty cool.

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

How did JY's companions miss the beast if its size was as you described?

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

I understand the need to minimize drama, but the reunion of two characters with this much history requires it. Also, no sane mature adult will drop the "I love you" bomb here, that too in public. Even if he had an ulterior motive, the timing of this makes no sense. JY's assist in this matter is also unnecessary. I would strongly suggest rewriting the dialogue in this chapter. It is too simplistic where more nuance is necessary.

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

so, we hit the climax? quite anticlimactic lol. at least give us Achilles vs DXX vs JY in any order.

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

Harem Protagonist EX strikes again XD!

Aegis_16
Aegis_16
1 years ago
Commented

I hope the fight doesn't end with each of them only exchanging big moves.