I'd first like to see an evidence that you've actually sat down and read the whole thing. Then I might consider. Otherwise it's most likely a half-hearted attempt at padding up your site's book count for free, which I deem quite disrespectful to authors.
The pacing is extremely fast I fear you might be shedding too much for the sake of pushing the plot. On the other hand tho, I guess that would appeal to today's readers. Downside is that this feels a bit like a barren log of character actions and dialogues, so I wish to see a bit more of meat added.
We all went through that awkward self-important, fantasy-ridden teen years, thinking "urgh, everyone is so stupid", "I'm so secretly special" and the first few chapters make us wonder if the MC is going through THAT phase. Turns out she is indeed special LOL. "It was nine. Nothing unthinkable was happening." I've read many stories on this site but this opening sentence triumphs over all. Pacing is good and chapters are at lengths digestible to today's readers. Super Squad is a name designed to be a jab at the cringy daydreamings we all had at least once, but the author takes it up to eleven which pushs the whole thing into the cool territory. You secretly want your teen fantasy come to life, this story delivers.
該書已被刪除。
This chapter tells a lot about the Best family and its members, especially the MC, but not in a spoon-fed way. That's a promising display of good writing.
該書已被刪除。
I had skipped the synopsis and dived right in. At first I thought it was going to be a "Sailor Moon"-esque stuff so the twist was rather refreshing. There are more than enough spots where, what I suspect to be auto-correct ( or may be auto-fill) messes it up so I suggest thorough proofreading. IIRC there's a movie coming out this year about a NPC in a MMO game becoming self-aware. You might wanna check that out and pick up one or two interesting ideas and elements to adopt into your story.
Slow and beautifully meticulous, with a hint of Easton Ellis and Fitzgerald but in a contemporary (and safe for work) 50 shades way. What impresses me the most is that the characters talk in ways that match their portrayed personalities, but at the same time the 'buddies' ooze a bit of group mentality shared in their small circle. It makes them feel so real. Such detail is an absolute gem, rarely seen in webnovel platforms. I'm gonna powerstone this!
I love this. It's like a Disney children's book that keeps going and going smooth like silk. The way things are narrated in a fairy-tale style more than makes it up for the grammar. I had initially planned to read maybe five or six chapters before writing a review, but couldn't stop. Big Kudos!
how long does it take for physicians from other kingdoms to arrive?
TBH this is very confusing. It takes immense concentration and note-taking to make sense of what's going on, who's doing what. But on the other hand that aspect of this piece is quite charming. Cute, so to say. It's chaotic narrative continued to catch me off-guard and I couldn't help appreciate the randomness. I look forward to the promised edit coming later, but for now this has been surprisingly enjoyable albeit the writing quality.
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original Mahou Senki Lyrical Nanoha : Clockwork
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Hayate is given the command of the Joint Task Force. Her job: repel the thousands of Alicia clones invading the Bureau. Fate rushes to save her sisters from Hayate's wrath. Meanwhile Nanoha is hell bent on killing them all and put an end to Fate's miserable past once and for all, even if it means losing her own sanity.17 Chs 24 收藏
yeah, right, lol.
"I forgot to hand it in…"
I shall wear Jenn's smile
LGBT+ · Toobo