tylermoney

Author, what the heck have you been through to write this?

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Told a random therapist about the system? The only thing I usually hate more than system novels is when they tell people about the system.

When you're cool with the pregnancy, but hate the broad it was with... The struggles of a reader😔 I guess im coming around to India just a bit

I suppose when it comes to focusing on other characters, it would be great if you could find a way to focus on them while still having Arell take up around 30% of a chapter. But it depends on how many chapters the timeskip is going to take. If it's going to take some time, say 10-15 chapters, you might be able to go a few without Arell.

Not too much to worry about, but while reading the TBC chapter and then the one where he is featured on "Flex" by Rich Homie Quan, I noticed a timeline issue. It's supposed to be somewhere around late March, but "Flex" came out in early February. Was this an instance where the protagonist affected the timeline and butterfly wings flapped?

No random person sees someone and just robs them, so using my brain I came away with the takeaway that the protagonist has done this before. Especially since in your writing you didn't emphasized the protagonist having complex emotion like worry about anything going wrong, almost as if it's something he's done before. Something that seemed different from the cautious personality the protagonist usually has prior.

It definitely seemed like, especially with his behavior of randomly deciding to pull over and recklessly rob someone of their jewelry, I don't know what you're going for anymore.

The protagonist, unlike Kendrick and Cole, has no mother or father. The MC should reflect this. He's someone raised more by the streets than by parents and joins a gang, unlike Cole and Kendrick, with Kendrick being more of an affiliate.