The writing quality isn't bad, but some words aren't used within their usual English usages, although their definitions aren't wrong for the meaning. The story starts out grim, and though it moves along well, I think the main character might have lived more happily if she'd run away in the first chapter. I hope she makes it to a happy ending. Easy to follow, heart wrenching, glimpses of riches beyond our grasp, glimpses of corruption most of us don't have to rub up against. Good luck to all, characters and readers.
Green is voluntarily set. Wants to participate in PVP. Yellow attacked a non PvP, red killed non PvP
Unfortunately there’s not. The flag is basically just an undismissable marker, and a sign that there’s no penalty for attacking
Fortunately or unfortunately, I wrote these chapters too close to brain surgery and didn’t write down my thoughts at the time, so my own reconstruction of the why is a bit muddled. But good call, kind of wish I’d used it , lol.
Brendan shrugged, and then led his brother away from the cargo dock at a brisk pace. The problem with secure communications was that when they were hacked it was very difficult for the user to tell, and Eks Corp hadn't had any secure channels interrupted for a few generations. From what he could see on the station surveillance, he was guessing that the security team members were quite likely innocent or oblivious, rather than actively ignoring the communications of Eks Corp's princes.
Cinderella's Spaceship
Sci-fi · gusdefrog
I’m not familiar with that story, but since I’m echoing old stories here, similarity with others is unavoidable.
She'd never had any combat training outside of the simple physical exercises that her mother had taught to both her and her father. She'd always thought that those were more like a dance than anything, even though she knew that they were from some kind of traditional martial art in her mother's home system. But her mind recognized the movements that her instincts were using to strike the Eks Corp Security officers.
Cinderella's Spaceship
Sci-fi · gusdefrog
The author has improved over time! I found the first few chapters confusing and jumbled feeling, mostly due to the way they were written. It was not exactly wrong, but pretty clear that it wasn't by a native English speaker back then. The adjectives used, and order of sentences, were just... odd. Very descriptive, but weird. The latest chapters flow much more easily, despite the characters angst and plotting. I'm not sure it's any less tangled, but it's no longer tangled up in technicalities! You've grown a lot! I hope you'll keep writing.[img=recommend]
Your writing improved a lot over time.
These notes of encouragement have kept me trying to finish the tale. Thank you.
Thank you. I really want to reach the end of the story before I die if things go badly though, so it might feel a little rushed, but I'll keep following my outline.
-
original Cinderella's Spaceship
4.91 最近更新
Rafaela grew up in the Cinder Sector of the outer belts, an isolated region that her step mother and step sisters can't bear. She's eligible to enter the Prince's race, if she can get her mother's old scout ship repaired in time, but she also needs to discover what her mother really left behind. Prince Brendan needs to catch a bride that he can trust. He was born with Corporate records written into his genes in a Solar System brewing with political strife. He bets his future on a race, but will he find out what this Cinder girl's family is tangled up in? With interstellar travel still confined below the speed of light, the vast majority of humanity now carries the extra pair of chromosomes packed with an inheritance of genetic memories. Those who don't carry the extra genes have been disregarded for centuries. Humanity needs to let go of the past in order to expand their future. Will a young woman, a young man, and a dragon be able to forge a brighter future between two stars? Cover redesigned by Bloom759, face based off Artflow.ai generation. --- On hold because I'm getting the shattered shunt removed finally! (The list of possible complications is a bit scary, but not compared to living with my brain fluid leaking out.)224 Chs 491 收藏
- original
Mizuki's Sky
已完結
Mizuki accompanies her sister on a tropical vacation for a week during summer vacation, and meets Sora there. His life is already a bit of a mess, but he's giving himself a break before he rebuilds it. It's just a week? I have updated the rating to Restricted, after reading the feedback over the chapter where she is attacked. This story shares charcters with Takumi no Eri, and is part of my Animephile. Pikachu belongs to The Pokémon Company. Any other resemblance to people and places is coincidental.60 Chs 11 收藏
- original
Data Dragon Danika
4.77 已完結
After a great deal of preparation, Danika begins her new digital dragon's life in a very small way. They say the "Living Jade Empire" creates individualized quests. They say it can read your mind. They say you can find your heart's desire. They say that there's never been a game like it, and they're right but… they're also wrong. The game is a data mine, built to retell the old tales that humans have been telling each other since language was invented. It doesn't read your mind, but it reads your search history, your favorites, and your blogs. The "Living Jade Empire" is literally crafted from fables, legends, fantasies, and maybe just a bit of stardust. But in the end, will the game be able to figure out what Danika wants most? Will the desires of other players take priority? Or, will playing it change her, until she desires what it can give her? A journey is always made up of many small steps, and this game has still only just begun.464 Chs 1.4k 收藏
- original
Takumi no Eri
已完結
A romance set between in the generation between 'Kiri to Shinkiro' and 'Data Dragon Danika'. A sudden attraction leads to an unexpected test result that forces the two of them to make a choice, and start defining what kind of relationship this really is. One chapter a week. Close-up of Collision36 Chs 52 收藏
- original
Dragons Waking
已完結
Begun on a whim, to be written in fragments... A mythical take on current events and old legends. When mankind retreats, the earth shifts, and the sleeping dragons awake. -- Contest category: Evolution (It might also be seen as apocalyptic, given the virus outbreak parallel, but it is more focused on the concept of guided evolution in my mind.)69 Chs 79 收藏
- original
Removed - Mark of London
已完結
This story has been removed for publication. Thanks for your interest!6 Chs 112 收藏
- original
Kiri to Shinkirō / Mist and Mirage
4.82 已完結
Fate is meeting at the right time. Love is cherishing every moment and continuing to grow together. Hikaru is secretly paying her brother's tuition, enduring conflicts with her new step parent, and there's a new sibling on the way. As if life isn't busy enough, her band is working toward publishing their first album, and then she meets him randomly on the street one day...74 Chs 145 收藏
- original
Drain
已完結
What does one do when the line between illusion and reality bends? When everything is normal, except what she has seen, can reality be trusted? A memory? A dream? -- A few days of story for Halloween.5 Chs 14 收藏
- original
The Nose
已完結
She's always been curious. There's always something waiting to be discovered. The Nose will find it.1 Chs 9 收藏
- original
Jade System
已完結
Jade never even saw the bus that hit him, until the system replayed the footage from a nearby traffic camera.11 Chs 95 收藏
If this is a question, the way (this one is actually hard for me to come up with an alternative word, but essentially the experience of) you hold (keep) your gaze (attention) ignites (starts a warm feeling instead of a fire in this case)
Mizuki's Sky
Teen · gusdefrog