/ Sci-fi / World Development System
摘要
While returning home from a boring day of work, a black hole opened up in front of John and sucked him in.
Before he was floating in the blackhole, a helmet latched on to him. "Uploading A.I under progress...Activating Survival Kit" A weird robotic sound appeared within the conscious of John and suddenly a white energy enveloped him... After opening his eyes, John noticed he was teleported to a whole new world.
A world of magic and he was a user of a system. Arkon, the world John was brought too, was a medieval world which is 10 times bigger than earth. This new world held many new mysteries and this was the beginning of John's adventure.
John will dominate and stir the world with his new system. Old technologies begone and use my advanced techys instead! Ha! you want to hold a politic, economical and military war with me? Sorry but my system is too broken for you all to counter.
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246評論
4.21
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
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寫檢討
I understand this is the authors first story but some huge problems with it. First problem is reading story is like reading a instruction manual. Very dry and bland. No simalies or metaphors and all told in third person perspective. The author does get better as story goes on but no by much. Second problem is suppose to be meidevil age planet with magic but they the have bunch huge merchant families and trade of almost all resources witch did not happen until renaissance age. Then have all people pretty much serfs paying 80-90% of everything to nobles who rule them with iron first and most land unclaimed with beasts ruling it witch is dark ages before midevil ages. Then they have stuff like salt petter witch did not come until after renaissance since need advance chemistry for it. Biggest problem is the tech he puts out not even 10 chapters in and he already making factories to create modern guns and steam engines. I don't think author realizes that technology is acumlitive. You cannot build a gun without advanced metallurgy, advanced chemistry, boring instruments, rifling, and 30 or 40 other technologies witch they do not have. Like taking stairs up a building you cannot jump from first floor to the 68th floor without going through all floors before it. There is no possible or way that a world that does not even have technological advancements of cross bows is making guns. Even if you know how to would take month to years just to make all the tools and instruments to make the guns. No less the nitter, coal, steel and other techs they would not have. Don't think author even realizes that people did not know how to process coal till beginning of industrial age. You cannot just use coal how is when mined. Even cooking was so much different. There would be next to no way to make most modern dishes back then cause they did not have stoves.
I really want to rate this novel higher, and it deserves higher, it is just butchered by the lack of a good editor, the writing feels like a robot is spitting out sentences, not the slick new ai kind of robot, think 1970's style automatons, punctuation and an utter lack of sentence flow unfortunately obscure the potential this novel has, leaving the characters and story dry and uninteresting. This is sad as the story and characters aren't nearly as bad as the disjointed sentences make them out to be. Please Mr Author, find someone, anyone, to edit your chapters.
Honestly i couldnt continue reading , the main idea of novel is not bad but the writing and editing is bad, the presentation of plot , choices and other tghngs feels worse than robotic. I cant get a good feel from reading this. Simply no immersion, sorry never posted a bad review but after seeing 19 positive reviews it was better for me to write some truth
Awkward wording/story/characters etc. It should be 1 star but i like the "system" type described. Author should improve his/her English before attempting to write a novel. Trash translators might get away with bad English but an author should not waste his time on a language he can't use. Hope the author keeps improving on all accounts and will successfully implement his idea in the future.
Great work Author! But I agree with the previous reviewer that everyone is so trusting.....MC should be more mindful of backstabbing and plots as it’s appearing in the latest chapters. There should be more “protection” against spy’s and so on...... Very interested on how he will deal with the other races as well. Keep going!
Pretty good plot. I like the kingdom building types and lots ofctrading making an economy from a crappy place. Not bad at all. Hopefully they keep on going, and not drop the nocel
I really like this novel and its world development but at the same time it feels linear and theirs not much character development, like the author doesnt go into detail about the people and why the mc is so trustable I feel like the mc should be recruiting people to join his company with contracts and something to tie them all in he should know that the world is dog eat dog and he cant trust anyone. I just dont understand how he can just give out all his ideas like trash especially guns when he might get into disputes with the barons and lords. I feel like this novel is being rushed too much and the author needs to take his time more to develop the town and explain it day by day.
Please don't drop this novel 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😊😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😊😊😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖
I really really love this web novel. Although you have made some mistakes, it’s a great web novel overall and I can’t wait for you to publish more chapters and I hope you can update it faster if you can and in the future to not put it on hold or discontinue it, and your a great writer. Keep it up!
First of all, the story have a good concept but utterly failed to deliver a good story or even sentences. Lots of unsuitable words used, the writing is bad. The pacing is out of place, I get the feeling that the author is rushing things sometimes just to get the story progressing without considering whether it's a good plot or not. The MC developed at an OP pace, from 0 combat prowess to master in merely tens of chapters, from knowing next to nothing to mastering and making breakthrough in almost every single job in merely a few days (in the story). Also, introducing guns in just about 30 chapter is bad move.
The story is dead i think :([img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]
The character designing is one of the best things in this novel... The MC doesn't act like he understands and knows all the blue prints that were ever created in mordern society, the MCs many super power like eiditic memory also has a solid cause and effect reason and not some bullshit like soul got strengthened during transmigration.... Now the bad thing about MC is he disregards others warning way too much, he does stuff in his own merry way which even with the story's own logic should have got him killed yet cuz of author's golden finger he is alive and kicking, Moreover MC seems to have a tendency of overestimating himself and underestimating others, i mean you are in magic and swords world yet you act like your enemies are buffons with magic who supposedly cannot reverse engineer your so called techs and even with nobles cruelty and tricks your subordinates and workers will be always trustworthy and will never betray you??? Overall you can read it but do be cautious and expect this novel to be logic defying.....(this novel world's logic)
揭示劇透
This is one of the very few original novels that I am speeding through especially for the first 50 chapters everything is happening so fast. It's not bad but it could be better. I feel like the novel is a self tutorial in writing a story as well as improving one's English language skills. The goal is nice however the reader ends up going through a trial and error exercise of grammar, sentence structure and requests for editing which at times the author ignores. There is stability of updates which I'm sure the readers appreciate. This novel will be in my library for now. However, I do advise the author that if the readers give constructive criticism e.g. repetition/carry forward of previous chapter to the next, please note and try to correct it. This would help you a lot. Take care.
world building is nice, the characters are cool. the chapters are long and are no-nonsense but full of content. other novels are almost half chapters of extra explanations of levels or technics or duel or fights. in your novel fights or duels aren't stretched out 3-5 chapters! each chapter has just enough details and we all get it. we the readers get more story progression in each chapter because of this style of writing.its refreshing. I like this novel. it's an easy read. the ups and downs of a winner in life in another world with a unique system. I some times have an idea where the story is going but that is nothing bad, because you do it well in your own original way. maybe mass update once an while to boost your view & numbers but otherwise good work! Thanks for this story, you earn my power stones! hope you finish this novel, cause I would like to see how he changes that world, the process growing pains and all!! VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!VOTE UP!!!
we need more story like this. ............................................... ............................................... ...............................................
Need more need more.please post chapter regularly .it will ba great story i hope tnx for your hard work best of luck .pls try to update more chapter.
I really like these novel and I hope the author continues it, I Don't know why the author stopped writing it
soooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good novel ...................
NO HAREM, please. Story progress is mostly predictable making it boring sometimes. The sudden transmigration, system, and everything made it moving in fast phase at the same time confusing. The system could have been avoided. Clinche fall in love movements and everyone accepting Mc without a doubt made a lot of logic holes. The
Hello guys.this is Autistic25 here.this is my first time writing a novel.i hope you guys give me some slack by the way i don't mind support and compliments :P. about the updates i will try to update it as much as possible every day if permitted. This novel is quite a sci-fi vs magic novel plus there will be politics,business,kingdom building and wars as the main theme of this novel. English is my second language so if there are mistakes please help. Thank you for reading my novel. P.S-i will shamelessly rate myself a 5 star for self-motivation :P.