摘要
If you were to die and be given a second chance to life what would you like to bring there with you? Your memories? Your most precious possession? A cheat-like power? Or perhaps... an item that would enable you to summon the weakest monster in any fantasy setting, the slime? Our protagonist, Sora chose the last one. After screwing up his first life he might as well do the same with his second, or so he thought...
General Audiences
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
2評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
LV 4 ![Badge]()
story has not been written yet the idea is good but there is nothing to read please look up permaculture, early retirement extreme, and the wim hof method. im writing this to get an achievement point thing on this site fyi
I think it's definitely a good start! I'd like to see you format your story a little bit differently, maybe add shorter paragraphs,and more dialog, but it's definitely a pretty fine piece that I hope to see grow. However, I'd like to see you add more characters, and show things more than tell. For instance, when that thing happens to him in the first chapter, with his mother, perhaps you could paint the scene rather than detail the uncanny aftermath? Keep improving, and hope you find you get better every chapter you write!