/ Video Games / Welcome to the team Ace of the Ruined World
摘要
Angelia died at the age of 30 from the same jet that killed her father... Yes a jet cut her in half in the middle of the city streets, Scientists are still swearing about that
[Scientist]: Finding immorality has more Percentage than being the only person to get cut in half by a jet in the middle of a busy street and it happened twice in the same family... Help me close Newton's coffin he is coming out and Albert Einstein and Aristotle are swearing in the bar
[Albert Einstein]: Were is Newton we need him for this
..., somewhere else,...
[Angelia]: So I am dead
[???]: Yes
[Angelia]: and I am reincarnating
[???]: Yes
[Angelia]: I heard that you send trucks not jets
[???]: we are open to new ways and suggestions like coconuts and dogs biting the Nether region how you may rate us
[Angelia]: like stars
[???]: Yes, now how many do we take from ten to one
[Angelia]: will can't say that it was bad but having every Scientist swearing at me is not nice so...seven
[]--World Nier--[]
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4評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
the Idea is good and with Charakters and such but the main Propblem is, every Charakter feels like a robott in the way the writing is with a bit Element of "BIG LOL RANDOM" where the structure of the storys doesn't feel thinked out much, this feel more like a sketch movie script then anything else. I would recommend the Autor to try improving thier writing skill espcilly describing How people interreact and thought patterns and how they talk to each other. The Reader does not know how the Charakters came to the conlusion how to do stuff or thier plans, and another point the same with each other Charakter and the MC is thier own reactions in individuell thoughts to the Situation or such. i want to say more but i think that would be to much.
... it's a dumpster fire of confusion ... the story makes no sense, the wishes are senseless. the character is a Mary sue that's learnt nothing but the magic of jazz hands
I love how straight toward the explanations were I didn't even get bored good job