/ Fantasy / Turn-Based Engineer
摘要
When James woke up five years before, he did not expect to end up in this weird, new world. Here, he found a reality filled with queer rules and magic beyond his imagination. Despite all this, he clung to his peaceful roots that he had been brought up with. With his knowledge, he could have changed the world. However, he did not wish to become some reckless adventurer or fearsome ruler; instead, he only sought to protect his loved ones and live a happy life. Sometimes though, the call of adventure forces itself upon even those who desperately wish to refuse.
Warning: This story has multiple POVs. (But by chapter 15, it kind of narrows down onto James)
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榜單 
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4評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
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For an initial story, it carries a lot of potential. While the syntax can sometimes get a little bit funky, it is usually correct grammatically at least. MPoVs can get a bit annoying when you really want to see one character. However, most villains seem relatively thought out, and the story feels logical.
Author if you are reading this, I suggest a major rewrite on the first chapter the prologue. Your grammar and spelling are not too bad, but the paragraphs are clunky and disjointed. Each paragraph contains a bit of information and suddenly jumps forward for no reason. The reason I think this happened is because of the amount of information you wanted to put in one chapter. Instead of putting the introduction as one chapter make a prologue and then split how he arrived in the new world, his emotional experiences , how he was freed and then owns a shop,with the names to the world and shop for crying out loud!
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