/ Action / Top Gun Unlimited
摘要
The story is about a boy named Joe Palmer whose whole village is destroyed by evil group of people. On the verge of death, he awakens the super system called Top Gun System.
Now with this new power he walks a bloody path towards vengeance.
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cover image is not mine. if the owner want me to take it down, just tell me.
For more chapter:
pat-reon.com/FAYSAL_AHMED_5058
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12評論
4.53
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
BROOO, I love the way you write. It has a very smooth and unique flow. You got loads of talents. Keep writing. Your story has the drama, the intensity, basically anything a reader will ask.
A great world background, characters are great writing on point over all a great novel. I am not really fond of systems but loved this one due to the emotion backstory. Keep up great work author
World and what a world it is, without a doubt one of the best descriptions of the world I have ever read. I was just a little scared to see that you have spent some time without writing, my friend, don't give up on this amazing story.[img = recomendar]
The story is great! It has a lot of potential into it! I think this is going to be awesome in the future! So far, after reading the first few chatpers, I believe this novel is amazign! I commented the things that I think needs editting! I'd like to note that the events felt a bit sudden. It would be fantastic if you could establish the narration first before placing the system. Let' say that the man was weak, like you've said, author. And in that world/village, violence was always the key. Survival of the fittest. Therefore, he needs to do something. It would be better to explain first the situation he was into. Let the thug beat him up. Show the main protagonist he was not meant to wield a gun, but in the end, he was the "top gunner" in the story. In that way, you can make the story more interesting! feel free to disagree, and these are only my suggestions~ Kudos for the author!
Author, I am telling you with the right character development, this one can turn out to be a great novel, Theme is GUN SYSTEM is very well selected, a new concept, keep on going, waiting for new releases, already added it in my library
Loved the story's background and setting as well as the characters I read. The author has a vivid imagination and has created a world for us to enjoy! Great Job!
I really like this novel, it's super engaging and I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next ٩(◕‿◕)۶ . I will be adding this to my collection
Can't wait to see where this novel goes. The writing is fairly good, with few grammatical or spelling errors. Great effort. Thanks Author!!!
Super system!!! Amazing concept to readout. The story will hopefully help readers to strive for their life to get satisfaction! Looking forward to get more.
Very interesting so far. I like the video game aspect of the story. However, i am not sure if the world is a game or a real-world with game ability. Maybe it will be shown later.
There is a confusion in tenses. Characters are detached and it makes it difficult to feel empathy for them. The flow of the story is forced. I would suggest building more on character development and the settings. Info dumps are also a huge issue.
Let this novel be praised! 👏 For the talent of author, for the splendid execution of the plot and its engaging storyline. It was none other than the author who made it worth reading this novel. Good luck with your success and may good fortune befell your work...haha. Kudos and Peace ✌️