章節 1: 1
Deku's POV
"What are you doing?" I asked, still groggy from being woken up, it's the middle of the night and I'm exhausted.
"Shut up Deku," Kacchan hissed while pulling the blankets up over us. It's now that I see he has added his on top of mine and curled up next to me. We are on a mission and unfortunately we are camping out in only God knows how cold weather, the only indicator was all the snow around us, but we didn't have a choice, we couldn't check in at a hotel in town without letting the villains know we were here.
I should have known better, Kacchan doesn't do well with cold, he never has. Why didn't I think about his quirk when I pitched the tent? I mean it's not like there was really anywhere else that would have been better but still.
He wrapped his arms and legs around me and I could hear him cursing telling me I was nothing but a heating pad. I couldn't help the smile on my face, if nothing else I am useful to him. That's all I really want.
But instead of falling back to sleep I noticed that Kacchan was still shivering violently, I slowly started rubbing my arms up and down to try and warm him up a little bit and I heard him cursing more but decided to pretend I was already dozing.
"I don't owe you shit," he was hissing at me but I could feel his body starting to calm down, his shivering wasn't nearly so violent as before and his muscles were starting to relax. I snuggled into his hair, letting myself enjoy the small pleasures that I'll probably never get again. The scent that is uniquely Kacchan; sweet caramel and cinnamon, the fluffy almost feather-like feel of his hair against my skin, the way his tight, firm muscles were wrapped around me holding me close. Yeah I'll probably never feel this again so I better enjoy it while I can.
"Kacchan is so amazing," I hummed and felt him freeze in my arms. I could feel my tiredness pulling me back under again and it was getting harder to focus. "So very amazing."
"Stop talking shit in your sleep," Kacchan groaned, he sounded so tired and done with everything but what am I supposed to do?
"Can't, 'cause it's true. There is no one more amazing than you," I hummed while I gently rubbed against him. His hair was against my face and the softness was just amazing.
"All Might," he practically spit out our hero's name like I was trying to poison him or something.
"All Might is amazing but," I let out a sigh, relaxing against him. "Not as amazing as you are." The wind outside seemed to settle down and I tightened my arms around my crush. He would never know, or at least he'll never understand, how much he truly means to me and I have accepted that. This is my fate, to forever love the person I can't have but to be tortured with how close we have to be.
"Since when did you think I was better than All Might?" Kacchan sounded surprised and confused but no longer angry, that's a nice change.
"Hmm?" I was falling into the darkness known as sleep and now that it was so much warmer with Kacchan against me it was getting harder to stay awake.
"Since when?" he repeated, getting aggravated again.
"When what? I'm sorry Kacchan I'm just so tired. We've been working so hard for this mission," I started mumbling and drifting off again. Then I was pushed over and my eyes snapped open to find Kacchan on top of me pinning me down.
"Are you awake now?" He glared at me and I blinked a few times before nodding. "Good, now since WHEN have you ever thought that I was more amazing than All Might?" He didn't look away or even blink, he was staring me down.
"Forever?" I answered slowly. I don't understand his excitement or confusion, why is he surprised?
"Don't give me that shit! When I first got my quirk you said that the most amazing hero was All Might, end of story," he was fuming mad and his fingers were tightening around my wrists but I barely felt it at the moment.
"Kacchan we were four, you weren't a hero yet," I tried to keep my voice level and I spoke slowly before I added, "You were always more amazing though. At least to me, we were only four and you were never afraid of anything. How couldn't I think you were amazing?"
He stared at me for a long time before he let me go. He didn't get off of me though, staying where he was keeping eye contact. A long time passed with just us looking at each other and let's be honest, there was no way I was going back to sleep after that.
Whatever that was.
"Do you know I'm gay? You can't think that's all that amazing now can you?" He lowered his voice to a whisper and I could hear the hurt there but I don't understand why it's there.
"Kacchan? What does that have to do with anything? I'm gay and for that matter most of our old class was some variation of the rainbow, how could I ever not think you were amazing?"
He blinked several times, slowly processing what I just said. "I've never seen you date a guy, only Round Face." Is he actually trying to claim that I am lying?
I rolled my eyes and groaned, "I have never dated Uraraka, ever. I've gone on a date with Shoto but we both decided we were better off as friends. I also went on a date with Shinso but that was just so he could try and make Kaminari jealous." I shrugged, looking up at Kacchan. "Why does any of that matter to you though?
"You're gay?" He repeated, and now I'm starting to get mad.
"Yes, I am gay."
"Prove it," he demanded.
"How am I supposed to prove that?" I almost yelled, can he really be any more difficult? Is he trying to get me to lose my temper? I know I come off as the calm hero that is always there to save the day but I am still only human.
"Kiss me," I blinked. I blinked again. Did he really just say what I think he did?
"Kiss me," he repeated again, still laying on top of me and the fact that our tent was getting a lot hotter didn't go unnoticed by me.
"Kacchan, that isn't funny. Who even told you?" I averted my eyes, I can't look at him right now. I can't, I've done so well not crying and now I finally get to go on a mission with Kacchan and he is basically telling me that he found out about my crush? Who told him? Who broke my trust so completely that I want to forget their name yesterday?
"Told me what?" He cocked his head, until it seemed to dawn on him. "Wait, really? You, like me? After all the shit we have been through, you LIKE ME?" His voice had gotten a little shrill, a habit from when he would start screaming but he managed to catch it in time.
"Laugh all you want, you're the one laying on top of me." I grumbled still looking anywhere but at him.
"So does that mean it's okay for me to kiss you?" My head snapped around to find him smirking at me like he somehow won something I know nothing about. Deep breaths now, don't flip out on him, he still was my childhood friend after all…
Fuck it.
"What the actual fuck are you saying right now? Do you think it's funny? To torment me about my feelings? Do you think that I will just flinch away and hide like I did back in middle school? Sorry to break it to you, Kacchan but I'm a HERO now. I'm not going to just let you walk all over me, I'm not just going to roll with the punches anymore." I all but snarled at him, taking him by surprise, but I'm not done.
"I don't know who told you about my crush, I understand it's dumb, no worse it's stupid. After everything you've put me through, how could I actually like you? Still? Is it some kind of cruel joke from God? Am I that fucking amusing? I'm done, get off of me. Bakugo I'm going to sleep, we still have the mission to complete in the morning and I need to actually fucking sleep for once without you keeping me awake. To think I actually liked the fact you chose to cuddle up to me? Nothing but a heating pad, it's a hell of a lot better than your punching bag." I fumed, when he didn't get off of me I pushed him off, still careful that he didn't get knocked out from under the covers. Why do I have to be in love with him? Why am I cursed to forever want what I can't have?
"You love me?" He asked and I actually facepalm myself, of course I had to mutter that out loud, nothing could ever just go my way can it?
"Go to sleep," I hissed and turned my back to him. I can't hold the tears back and I'll be damned if I let him see that he won, again. When I find out who told him, I just might punch him. But who? Todoroki and Shinso are the only two that know, I almost told Iida but decided against it when he started talking about his discomfort about Todoroki and Uraraka dating the same gender. He isn't a homophobe but it did take him a while to understand that it IS normal.
But there is no way either Todoroki or Shinso would tell anyone, they didn't even tell their boyfriends and I know this because they still think I'm straight and keep trying to set me up on blind dates. Kiri and Kami are great friends and I will never understand how they got Ka… Bakugo to actually accept their friendship but even so they have been nothing but friends to me as well.
I could feel my tears welling up but I refuse, I refuse to cry damnit.
"I'm sorry, De-" he coughed a little, clearing his throat before continuing on. "I am so sorry Izuku, it would be nice if we could at least be friends again but I understand why not." I felt him turn around and press his back to mine, I could feel the tears rushing down my face. I lost, I always lose but I will cry in silence, I don't want him to see me crying ever again. He lost my trust, how is it that just an hour ago I would have still trusted my life in his hands but now I can't even trust him with my tears?
I couldn't stop my body from shaking from my sobs and BAKUGO must have noticed because he turned around and actually wrapped his arms around me, making it ten times worse.
Why is he pretending that he cares now? After all these years? We are 23 years old and he chooses now to be not only decent but nice? I can't believe this.
I slam my eyes shut, willing myself to go to sleep and either from the long exhausting day following human traffickers who are also suspected to be doing illegal experimentation on their victims or the fact that my tears just drained the last of what energy I had, I finally fell asleep, angry.
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