章節 110: Fuck the Plot
It is now afternoon for our seven lovable members of BBS, as they walk through the busy streets in Orazvil until they now make it to their destination.
"Damn, why would we do something like that? Do you guys think we might've died by our recklessness?" Delirious asked as he fixed his dislocated arm without any reaction after falling from thousands of feet in the air before landing in the forest.
"Nahhh... you don't need to worry, Delirious, we could respawn at any time." Vanoss said reassuringly.
"Bullshit." Basically said, glaring at Vanoss nonchalantly.
As they continued to move through the crowd and the streets, they then spotted a building that appeared to be a two story building made of stone that had the depth of a neat inn. As it is located along the Western Main Street, it is usually filled with a lot of customers.
[IMAGES]
The front entrance has a set of double doors with wood carvings decorating the frame. Carvings can be seen in various places on the front of the pub. The Hostess of Fertility sign can be seen on the left side of the entrance, as well as on an overhanging sign with a crossed fork and knife.
Deciding to enter, what the group first encountered was a big woman on the counter.
"Ah, what do we have here?" The huge woman says in a rough voice.
In response, Wildcat took a step forward and introduced themselves with a calm tone, "Just... Some newcomers, been here for a few weeks."
"I see."
Leaning to Terroriser's side, Vanoss asked, "Who is this dude?"
"Evan, it's a woman for Christ sake, and..." Terroriser squinted his eyes and did an analysis of her identity, suddenly his face made a surprise look.
"Mia Grand, I guess she might be the owner of this shithole." He whispered to the Owl man before moving forward and also greeted, "It's nice to see you, ma'am. We'll take some sits. ^_^ " Brian said with a calm look, but when you looked at him closely, he seemed to be nervous.
"Well, it's a pleasure to see some new faces here, you can have any seat you want."
"Thank you."
After greeting the owner of this building, the group entered the building and saw that the inside seemed quite nice for a world that seemed to come from the middle ages.
As some of the guys travel around with looks of curiosity, Vanoss spotted Terroriser's expression changes to a scowl.
"Brian, what's wrong?" He asked.
Terroriser spat in disgust and began to speak in his usual Irish accent, "Yuck! Is this de feeling av being a gentleman and nice to others? Focken' morals, man. It feels so dumb and I'm dyeng from cringe when lookeng at myself."
"Why would you do that anyway?"
Glaring at Vanoss, Terroriser responded in annoyance, "Because dat cow has de strength av beateng our asses."
"Oh... well we should just not pissed her off and just enjoy eating our lunch." Vanoss patted his shoulder and moved forward, sitting at an empty table alongside with the guys, followed by Terroriser.
As they sat there talking about stupid topics, then a girl in a green maid outfit stood in front of the group.
"Order?" She asked, smiling at them.
One by one, the guys said to their orders after reading the menu till it was Wildcat's turn, "Yeah miss, I like one of those smooth and warm flameon, medium-sized rare, and add a bit of marinara sauce in it." He said, speaking in a British accent for some reason.
"Alright, coming right up." The maid nodded while looking at Wildcat weirdly by his accent before leaving.
As she left, Moo also looked at Wildcat weirdly like the maid from earlier, he asked, "Um Tyler, why are you speaking in a British accent?"
Wildcat chuckled and shrugged, "Just making fun to people, I thought of speaking BRITISHLY, and it seemed she is unfamiliar with it."
"It's kinda like a bunch of crackers just making weird impressions of a black dude in front of one." Basically murmured as he drank a cup of water on the table.
"Hey, it isn't racist when you are both white! And-... you know what, that doesn't matter, let's wait for the food!"
"Alright geez."
Five minutes passed and there was no food coming, Delirious looked around and saw a lot of people around here, including a few adventurers, some were surrounded by girls.
"Why is being an adventurer so famous to people? I never understand their fame." Delirious asked with a sigh, laying his chin on his palm boredly.
"If you want more fame for you, Delirious. What about you can just take off your mask and you will be surrounded by fangirls simping on your striking face, or if it's not even elegant." Terroriser said with a mischievous smile, bringing out a camera and readying its function.
"NEVER!" Delirious shouted as he instantly held his hockey mask into his face tightly.
Moo shook his head irritatedly, "Idiots, It was because they took down some infamous monsters in the dungeon we just saw earlier, making them look very strong to the public, that's how famous warriors were made."
Wildcat scoffed at him, "Nerd. We took down dangerous monsters as well!"
"Then why aren't we famous?" Delirious asked.
"Maybe it's because some people just cover our entire identity and want to use us as a tool while keepeng it from de public just for deir selfish deeds." Nogla, who has been silent in the group till now, answered their question in a dramatic tone.
"..."
Everyone looks at him in silence, some of their expressions look at him weirdly or laugh, thinking it's just another one of Nogla's ridiculous statements.
Then suddenly, a neko cat arrives on their table, with their order in her hands, head, and shoulders without dropping either of them and goddamn she's like a professional on this.
"Here you go, our daily specials, nya! :3 "
"Finally! It's about time." Wildcat shouted excitedly.
"It's only been a minute." Basically said to him deadpanly.
While Wildcat took his order, the others took theirs, while Delirious just only ordered several alcohols. Looking at their meals, it's perfect, however, the only person who isn't satisfied is a man with glasses.
No, not Moo, it's Terroriser.
"What the hell is this?" Terroriser asked, using his robotic scanning to scan on his food like a walking quantum computer, he looks at the neko maid as his expression darkens.
"Um, what do you mean?" The neko maid tilted her head in confusion. "The food at the Hostess of Fertility has the best taste in the city, especially the fruit liquor we gave you tastes good enough to make people frequent the pub."
"Oh, I know, the food seems so great, but the problem is that this shit is not enough to satisfy a master chef like me!"
"Are you a chef? You don't look like one."
Terroriser sighed and began to speak in British, "Words from a fockin' puss, I have too many potential careers: An actor, a voice actor, an engineer, and a chef like god damn gordon hamsay! Don't you dare question my skills! NOGLA!"
"Mhm?" Nogla raised his head as he ate his meal.
"Buy me some chef clothes, I will show them my skills of a focken' master of chefs!"
Groaning, Nogla stood up and just followed what he said and began to run out of the building. Seeing him leaving, Terroriser looks back at the Neko maid and urges himself to take him to their kitchen.
Sighing, the neko maid had no choice but to listen to him anyway, well she can reject, but she is interested what this man could do, it could make their meals even more delicious than ever before.
Watching all of the Irishmen leave the table, Basically notice the only people left were an American and one Canadian person.
"And there they go." Vanoss mumbled blankly.
"Let's just forget those guys and continue our meals." Basically said.
Saying this, he and the other boys continued to eat their early dinner. But was interrupted when he heard the door open.
Curiously looking at the entrance, Marcel's eyes widened.
The ones that entered were none other than the main characters themselves from that anime Danmachi, and holy shit they look exactly alike, but the only difference is their design seemed different, such as that Bell dude's hair is dark instead of silver.
Another universe perhaps.
"Oh fuck."
"What?" Delirious asked, noticing Basically's expression.
"The main characters."
"So what?"
"You know what I mean! We can't let them interact with us if we accidentally bump into them!"
"Calm down, my friend." Delirious patted his shoulder and said to him calmly, "You're being doubtful, I didn't watch the anime, but I do remember the scene of where they were right on the spot near the entrance, were at the back on the other side, so interacting them will be a low chance, so calm down and enjoy your food."
Without wasting time, Delirious began to eat.
"Nom nom nom nom nom ^w^"
"Huh, you're kinda relaxed there, for just a second ago you were crazy as you got rabies."
"You knew well about my emotional disorder, right? Similar to DID or whatever I mean." Delirious said as he drank a bottle of whisky. "Hmm... délicieuse."
"You're speaking French. Wait, I thought you were drinking with the can."
"What? Cans, bottles, doesn't matter, I have an unlimited amount on my slots."
"Oh ok-"
"Hey guys, looks like these people are giving bad vibes over there." Moo pointed out.
"From the right I guess, they are like the Apollo Familia." Basically said, looking at the thug-like group.
"Guilds." Moo corrected and began to explain, "Unlike that anime, it's Guilds though. Familia are made up of adventurers and supporters headed by a God or Goddess, but this world on the other hand Guilds are like you see in typical fantasy crap and instead of gods, they are just Guildmasters with god-like strength."
"Moo, are you an encyclopedia or something? I swear you just wanted me to bully you so badly for speaking such nerdy shit." Wildcat said to Moo with a scowl, which he responded by giving him a glare.
"Shut up, Tyler. Watching one anime doesn't make me a nerd or otaku, I'm only casually watching it because it just seems interesting to see."
"Ha, fucking excuses."
Moo only rolled his eyes and just ignored his words, Wildcat can be a bit of an asshole and surrounded by idiots who insult and say offensive and racist jokes 24/7 got Moo used to this atmosphere.
"Hm, not to mention it, when you mention guild, not too long ago I met these idiots that wanted to force me to join this Loki Guild or something when I was just at the entrance of one." Vanoss said, chuckling at that time.
"Wait, you met a member of the Loki Familia? You shouldn't try to join a trickster." Moo said warily.
"Well, I was about to."
"Is there a reason why you would try to join them?" Moo asked.
"No shit Sherlock, joining that familia would give you protection from a certain gay-ass god." Basically explained.
"Wait who?"
———————————————————————
"A...AA.....AAAAA.....ACHOOO!!!" A red headed person sneezed loudly as she sat on her red couch doing things like any normal day. "Geez, who's talking behind my back?"
———————————————————————
"Oh I know what you mean."
"Ermm... yummy Dew...burp!" Delirious burped, laying in his chair with his eyes crossed.
"Wait, you're drunk?"
"Y-Yup."
'How can he get drunk when he was an undead? His basically immunity towards poison.' Basically thought in confusion.
"Guyyys, should we get rid of those fuckers? It's messing up my food habits." Vanoss complained as he pointed to the same thug-like groups, "Who were they?"
"Didn't you even listen?"
"I wasn't paying attention to whatever anime nonsense you guys sprouted. Fuckin' nerds."
"See! Evan gets it!" Wildcat shouted.
Meanwhile, a short guy with the Apollo Guild walks to a person named Bell and his party in the distance.
"Rank 3? Huh? I don't know if they call you the Record Holder or whatever," A short man sneered, "But you shouldn't try to con people all the time."
He continues, "A rabbit who's fast at running and nothing else but ran from all monsters until he ranked up! And now he says he's close to Rank 3? If I were him, I'd be too embarrassed to leave my home."
Moo face palmed, "Sheesh."
"Luan, weird ass name but big talk and a loud mouth to some midget, isn't it comrade?" Vanoss said to Drunklirious who let out a burp, his spit landed on Wildcat's face which he yelled out in anger.
Looking at the similar scene to some anime, Vanoss just stares at it in bored look, he pulled out and raised a gun from his jacket and was about to shoot on Luan's ass but was immediately cut off by Marcel.
"What the hell are you doing? No! I already told you!"
"..." Vanoss could only look at Marcel deadpanly as his fingers slowly pulled the trigger.
Basically: [GIF]
Vanoss: [GIF]
"Don't do it or else I'm changing our Netflix account password!"
"Think again, I have like 70 alternative accounts, bitch."
"I will feed your parrot with a cookie!"
"I don't give a shit."
"Um.... I will.. burn your Batman erasers and action figures."
".....fine." Vanoss said, putting the gun down.
"Good."
Back to the scene, the man named Luan continues to sprout nonsense to a boy who's about to be enraged.
"You're mad because I'm right, huh? Tell the truth, you're embarrassed to be the child of that tiny bitch, aren't yo-"
Shattered! Thud!
All of the sudden, before he could take it too far, an empty bottle threw and headshot Luan, knocking him out.
Seeing this, everybody was surprised a bit, including the Apollo Familia members.
"Who the hell did that!"
Back to the group's seat, it turns out that Vanoss, who snatched a bottle from Delirious and threw it with much of his strength, which he kinda creates a sonic boom with enough firepower to utterly blow an entire person's head off as he was the one who threw the bottle, and OH! He just got a headshot! That's another plus for him.
Returning his attention back to his friends, especially to Marcel and Moo, their expression seemed pretty odd.
"Would you believe me when I say it was just an accident? :3 " Vanoss said innocently.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Basically looked at Vanoss with a complicated expression.
"Trust me my friend, I am... WAY worse..." Vanoss said calmly as he patted Delirious back, which caused him to...
BURP!
Letting out a loud burp noise, the sound was heard the entire building, even to the crowded streets outside, giving people attention to them, including the main characters and the Apollo familia members.
"Are you the one who did this?"
"Yikes, I think I got myself in trouble now." Vanoss chuckled, feeling calm as ever as if he didn't do what he just did.
"It's more like you got US in trouble!" Basically shouted furiously, same as Moo, Delirious is still drunk but Wildcat on the other hand.
"Ahahahaha! That should do it, Evan! Fuck the plot! Serves these weebs right!" He laughed, clapping his hands and applaud on this scene, this is what you call a real show right there!
Absolutely loving this, this is some 4th wall breaking but on a whole different level.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票