章節 2: ~Chapter 2~

I stopped and looked at the door with a dim smile, I hope he wasn't to upset I didn't let him finish what he was doing. I just don't want to be around people, just until I know who to trust. For all I know they all could be out to get me.

I snuggled up into the warm blankets as I looked up at the ceiling. All I wanted was to go back to my family but even I knew that will never happen. It's nothing more than a dream, one I so desperately long for.

The blankets were worn out with little rips and tears, but overall, it protected me from the cold air from all around. So, wrapped myself further into the blankets as I let out a deep breath. Letting the darkness take hold of me, as I drowned in the arms of the night as he held me captive.

‴‴

It is always the same, the sound of broken bones being crushed with empty beer bottles,

the agonizing pain throughout your body. The way your lungs are grueling for oxygen.

Lying there paralyzed scared to move, your

fingers twisted in ways you never conceptualized. Your throat burning with every silent cry.

The only thoughts that entered your mind were the ones where you regret everything you

did before ending up where you were and at that moment. As you sat there letting the tears

warm your red cheeks the questioning thoughts of 'Why me' entered your mind at that moment. But even then, even now you still couldn't find a reason... other than...

~~~~~~~~

With a loud gasp, I jolted out of bed, my head soaked in cold sweat as flashbacks of my horrid past were fresh in my mind as I let out a soundless scream, throat burning as the tears were pouring out of my tired eyes creating a waterfall, the thought of drowning in my own tears had a soft melody to it. As if dying would cure all pain. It sang to me like a siren tempting me to end it all.

But my thoughts only made my mind feel worse. I needed to calm down. I let in a shivering deep breath as I tightly closed my eyes.

This is what I used to do when I was locked up all alone as thick black colored blood covered me like the cold rain. It always helped me to calm down. Somehow when the darkness was around there was nothing to fear. So, closing my eyes always helped.

But before I knew it, the skin of my fingers started turning numb as if my limbs started to give up on me like I about did on myself. But what scared me was that it started to grow. Soon lasing my arms and the gums of my teeth. Most likely cased of my lack of Oxygen. Even more of a reason to control of myself.

I wanted everything to stop like a film, I wanted to stop the burning feeling in my chest or the painful scars that I could still feel but couldn't see, the ones that covered me like the oxygen I breathe. But what I wish for Is nothing but a dream. Because even if I got better now, there will always be a next time. One maybe even worse.

But that's what I hated the most in this tragic world. All I ever wanted was for that night to have never occurred.

There was even a part of me that wished for someone else to take my spot in humanity but now I just wish I didn't even exist, why am I here? To play in some sick game? To be treated like a wild beast? -

Tears seeped down my pail skin as I stopped myself from thinking anymore. My thoughts were like a deadly poison, they killed me from the inside out.

But what could I say, it's a part of the would I live in. I tightly gripped the bed handles, biting down on my bottom lip in pure resentment. Blood dripping down my chin. The robust taste of metal lingers on my tung, unable to go away.

I plopped my head onto the thin pillow hoping I will soon fall asleep but never could, even though time has passed, and it was now three in the morning. I cured my luck, for it was not grand. It was like there was as little as a drop of luck in me.

This sucked, all I wanted was to escape the venomous reality I had in store. But no, I couldn't sleep. No matter how tired I was. My eyes practically burned with the passion to close them, but even If I did the thoughts of my mind still wouldn't have let me so there was no point.

l didn't know if I couldn't sleep because of how comfortable the room was or because of my thoughts but I had to find out. So, I slithered out of bed, my burse twisting along with my damaged skin. Casing a sharp pain in my stomach and arms. I couldn't show any weakness, so I hid any signs that could have reviled my pain. When my full body was off the bed, I softly plopped onto the cold tile floor laying a pillow and blanket where I planned to sleep. Soon feeling a relaxed, I knew right then I made the right choice.

Once after making my pallet, I took a big drink of water, washing away the Metal flavored crimson liquid. I slapped both sides of my face to get myself to focus on anything...absolutely anything else. I needed to let go of the past; I knew that, and I try on a daily basis but still even to this night the memories still lay in the back of my mind hunting me down. But the real question that I always ask myself is, could I ever escape? Or will I live in this everlasting darkness for as long as I live? Just the thought brought me to tears. I never asked to be born. So why did the only two people who brought me into this world leave before me? It was always supposed to be me, never Matthew or Mom and Dad.

I grabbed the only pillow I had and one of my many blankets, I sat on the floor wrapping myself in a ball of comfort soon falling asleep, listening to the loud sound of the outside world.

~Time Skip~

"Hey Lilly wake up, why are you sleeping on the floor?" A soft female voice asked while tapping on my shoulder repeatedly to get my attention. With a silent groan, I turned to look at them in pure exasperation. "Get up and lay on the bed, you should know you can't sleep on the floor! Especially with those cuts of yours" She nagged grabbing me by my waist trying to pick me up from off the ground. "Dang your so light, it feels like I'm picking up a little kid" She put forth, her eyes covered deep in concern, as she placed me onto the thin mattress. "When I leave, I'll come right back with some food. Is there anything in mind you would like?" She asked, her light gray hair swaying as she turned. With a little nod 'no' she soon left the room.

My eyebrows frowned; it is bewitching with how much they seemed to care. I just wish they would leave me alone. And stop looking at me synthetically, it's annoying. I'm not a little kid anymore nor am I that skinny.... kind of I'm 99.8 Pounds, anyway that's beside the point.

The light from the window was shining brightly with a blinding effect. The leaves were falling with such grace. Everything outdoors was just absolutely stunning. I slowly reached my hands to touch the windows, the feeling of the cold glass beneath my hand.

I wonder what my life would have been like if everything that happened was only a nightmare?

Would I be like the happy people out there? I bet I would be. I would probably have talked my parent into letting me have a pet Rabbit by now to. The sweet memories of my loving family were replaying in the back of my mind leaving a bitter taste.

The way they died, is what made the memories so bitter.

The bitter feeling in my chest wouldn't go away, so I took out a piece of paper from the side of my bed hoping it would get my mind off it. The Nures brought some for me yesterday in case I needed them.

Then I started to draw.

About anything that came to mind, which ended up being a sheep jumping on cotton candy. A lovely thing. I love sheep, so innocent and pure. If I had to pick which I would pick to keep for a day it would be a bunny or a fluffy cow, but it HAS to be fluffy or it's a no go. Don't get me wrong though, sheep are still on the list.

As the time started to fade away, I never even noticed anyone coming in, but then a loud squeal broke me out of my trance.

"Oh, my goodness, that's so cool! I love it, I would have never taken you as a drawer though. It's beautiful!"

"Thank you" I wrote on the top of the paper, then pointed letting her know it's for her.

"Of course, I know a little boy who would love that. He's into drawling as well! But sadly, he's very sick at the moment." She spoke in a litter over a whisper.

The sentence broke my heart, as I stumbled on what to say. Even as she left soon after I still couldn't find the right words.

All I wished at that moment was to take his place. Oh, how I wished I could lay on my death bed. Soon taking my last breath.

Soon after she left it felt as though the time was flying by. But at least I finished my work of art.

The reason I was so good at it in the first place is because it was the only thing, I could do in the seller I used to call 'home'

But what does a home even mean? I feel like it lost its true meaning long ago.

I took off the wiers that were attached to me as I slowly git out of bed. My heart racing, I was to bord to stay in that sad room. Plus they need some heaters in there it's way to cold.

I placed my thin fingers into the handle of the door, slowly opening it only enough to fit my tiny fram though.

Then, running at full speed when i saw that no one was in sight.

I ran through the long halls and down many lefts and rights until I heard a sudden noise that sounded like my favorite TV show from when I was a kid. It was the one show me and Matthew both liked. Just the audio cased my legs to stop, wanting to know more. It was like I was in a trance. One I couldn't escape from. It for sure was a children's show so I wouldn't be surprised seeing a little kid in here.

As I started to inch closer and closer like a caterpillar reaching for a leaf, to the half-opened door I slowly started to open It even more until I was able to see the smart T.V playing 'Finding Nemo' with a faint silent giggle I walked through the door to see the cutest sight I've seen in a while,

a sleeping child about from the looks of It I want to say, seven? When I got close enough, you could his how deathly sick he looked, weirs hooked on him from all around. His natural olive skin tone now a sickly pail. I gently placed the sheep drawing I once had in my packet on his night table with a smile as I thought of my once little brother. He looked a lot like him when he was younger. The poor child looked to innocent to have to go through all this pain and suffering. Is this the little boy the nurse talked about just moments ago? If so I'm glad, I got to see him before I left the hospital. I then left the room after placing a small kiss onto his damp forehead. When I got back to my room, after my little...walk. My ears cried in pain from the yelling that came from the nurse that left to bring me food. I would have felt bad, but she was gone for so long that I just didn't care. What was she even doing for hours on end anyway?

"Oh, my goodness Lilly?! Where were you, I looked everywhere, don't run away like that ever again!" She yelled while running to me giving me a warm embrace as she picked me up, setting me on the bed. "I came in here to give you good news, also to give you your food! Sorry It took so long. You're going to have some visitors so don't go wandering around like you did today. I'll be back tomorrow to give you clothes and help you finish getting ready" she spoke in a hushed tone, while trying to hide her mother-like smile as she left the room followed by a click from the door.