章節 135: [Chapter 135] Half of My Life
Neris recognized that hand. There was no way she wouldn't. Until last year, she had meals and did homework with that hand in front of her.
She sighed and quickly walked back behind the stone wall. There, she faced Diane, who was standing alone.
"What are you doing here?"
It was a question born out of sheer disbelief. How long had it been since her own maid almost died? Was there no fear at all?
But Diane didn't respond and asked with a serious expression, "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
Neris felt embarrassed but casually replied. After scanning the area with Dora and seeing no signs of danger, she took a few steps back and stood quietly.
"To save me."
"When did I?"
"I know. You were the one who almost got stabbed when I was in danger. And you were the one who held my arm."
Neris, who didn't expect Diane to know, felt a bit awkward. She considered trying to pull away but sighed, realizing it would be futile.
"If Maindlandt's guest dies, it would put me in a difficult position. That's why I acted."
"You risked your life because it would put you in a difficult position?"
"I wasn't in danger. I trusted Dora to protect me."
"Thank you for your help."
"Half of it was true. Neris believed in Dora's skills she had observed all this time and also believed that Dora could handle the last assassin.
It might be false to say that she wouldn't have acted if Dora wasn't there.
'She's not very helpful.'
As Diane's expression changed, Neris inwardly cursed Kemil.
Thanks to the former sister's failure in analyzing the power dynamics here, everyone was unharmed. But did this lead Diane to start misunderstanding again?
Thinking she could go back to how things were before.
"Then there wouldn't have been a problem if you had just told Dora to protect me. Why did you throw yourself in front of me?"
It was true that she threw herself in front. Neris's response was unusually evasive.
After staring at her for a while, Diane spoke seriously.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"I'm not happy if you get hurt trying to protect me. I'm happy when you're safe and happy."
"Diane, there's no joy in me dying or anything."
"But there is for me."
"Don't talk like a child. You didn't die. Go back to where people are quickly. What if someone else attacks?"
The likelihood of another attack was actually very low. If Eunwool had spare manpower, they wouldn't just hide quietly while the large operation failed. Talfryn checked this and even carefully scanned the surroundings.
However, this topic was uncomfortable, so Neris made such excuses. When Diane avoided the conversation, her eyes widened as if she was scolding her.
"If you answer properly, I'll leave. Why did you throw yourself in front of me? You said there's no joy in me dying or anything. It's not more important than the possibility of your position getting difficult or you losing your life."
"Diane."
Since there was no sign of backing down, Neris decided to be a bit more honest.
"I made an objective judgment. Your life is more valuable than mine."
Diane's eyes widened significantly. Even Dora, who pretended not to listen nearby, had the same reaction.
"Why, why? Why did you think that way?"
"Don't make me say such things. It's because you're more valuable than me."
Unlike the previous statement of 'I trusted Dora,' this one was sincere to the core. And because it was sincere, the premise contained in those words weighed heavily on Diane.
Neris didn't feel very valuable to herself.
After saying such a painful thing, the expression of discomfort that seemed to say 'this would have been enough.'
Diane felt suffocated. Her heart ached. And so, her mind cleared instead.
She realized that she had been saying useless things to Neris all this time. While she thought she was important in her own way, ultimately, her words only thickened the defensive wall of Neris's strong stubbornness in her heart.
What needed to be said now was not that.
Perhaps Neris had been devaluing even her own emotions all this time.
Not that she was heartless, but that she had been ignoring her heart.
'So that's it.'
Laughter came out inappropriately. Diane made a strange expression with sad eyes and a raised corner of her mouth. Then she said to Neris,
"Liz."
"It's better to stop calling me that now."
"I will call you like this. Do you know why?"
"Why?"
"You are important to me, and I want to be important to you too, and I want you to know that fact."
Neris's eyes widened momentarily. Diane felt victorious. This was it!
After knowing, she felt a bit disappointed. If that was the issue, she would have said it sooner.
"If only I had told you every day that I loved you."
If she had, would Liz have told me the truth from the beginning?
Diane was troubled by such thoughts. Neris, after a moment, regained her composure and showed a cold expression again.
"I don't understand why you're saying this now."
"Because, you fool."
The day has come for me to call you a fool.
"Oh, I didn't know there would come a day when I would call you a fool. I hope you think that your life is more important no matter what happens. I hope you know how much the people who cherish you love you. So, I hope you cherish yourself too."
Sunlight poured over Diane's head.
Shiny golden-brown hair, sparkling green eyes. Diane McKinnon was a lovely lady, and Neris knew that. Oh, but.
Today, she shone like never before.
Seeing Neris speechless, Diane burst into laughter.
"Haha, hahaha, ha...! You fool. Do you know how silly you look, being the smartest person in the world?"
Everything finally became clear to Diane.
Why did she need a partner anyway? If it was just that, this busy girl wouldn't have taken the time to hang out with Diane every vacation and every weekend. She wouldn't have fought against Nuran.
How was the hotel room arrangement? It's unlikely for a hotel to have rooms on the first floor, yet both McKinnon siblings were assigned rooms on the first floor. Neris also received a room not far away.
Perhaps to ensure that Diane could easily reach out to others in case of trouble, several new rooms were intentionally set up on the first floor of the hotel. Even though there was really no need for such consideration.
Neris was truly awkward in friendships. Diane knew this better than anyone else. They had meals together, did homework, and played together every day. It was like saying she didn't have a favorite food.
In reality, even if she liked it, she never showed it and pretended not to if anyone noticed.
Neris was speechless. Seeing this, Diane smiled knowingly.
"You know, Liz. There was just one thing I wanted to know. Are you okay?"
Her sparkling eyes pierced Neris's heart like arrows.
"I didn't want to regret not knowing if you needed help later."
As if saying she didn't like you just because you were beneficial to her when you were by her side.
"Did you come close and get hurt? Was anyone bothering you? Did you ever wish for a lonely day when you thought it would be nice to have a friend around?"
Neris didn't know what to do. There was something pounding in her throat from deep within her chest.
Extremely happy and grateful... a nostalgic dreamlike fantasy. A warm emotion believed in from a very young age.
However, one should not entrust themselves to that. Breaking that warm emotion with her own hands...
Diane smiled brightly and gently.
"You know, Liz. Our brother says that when people are born, they are defined by what they have, but as they live, the weight of that diminishes, and the trajectory of their life becomes more important. What they thought and lived, what choices they made, things like that."
Neris's mouth fell open. Finally... her mind cleared.
She had believed that everything would be fine if she quickly sent Diane back or at least made her give up on their future friendship. But would Diane really give up?
Even if she treated her coldly, she never let go and persistently followed for several years. Was that possible?
No, from the start... did Neris Trued have the right to arbitrarily cut off what the two had built?
Could she... really let go of Diane?
"Then isn't half of my life defined by you? I wake up every morning thinking about what to do with you, and when I make decisions every day, I think about what you would like."
Neris remembered. The reason she was dazzled every time she saw Diane.
The reason she was anxious.
Because she believed that even that intense affection would soon fade away.
But if a person is defined by the trajectory of their life.
"...I'm sorry...."
Just as Diane was a part of herself, she was also a part of Diane.
She couldn't... cut it off as if it were her own.
Neris sighed and acknowledged.
"...Sorry for being bad."
A destined connection that cannot be cut off.
There were parts within herself that she didn't dislike.
A dream she had cherished since childhood... a place to return to.
Even if she were to die now, there was a sweet hand she couldn't let go of.
Diane hugged Neris tightly.
❖ ❖ ❖
"Haha."
Talfryn's expression of 'I knew it' was starting to get a bit tiresome. Neris coughed awkwardly.
"Enough with that."
"What did I do? I just suddenly felt pleased."
"Why are you so pleased?"
"Well, can't I be pleased? Don't I have the freedom to be pleased too?"
"You're just teasing me."
Neris had been using a mix of "you" and "thou" when addressing Talprin, but now she felt like using the term "you scoundrel." Talprin was grinning, but his expression quickly turned serious.
"The McKinnon people are clean. The surroundings are quiet. You don't need to worry more about 'Eunwool,' but the issue lies in the intention of the attack."
The head of the guard and Dora nodded.
One of the small reception rooms borrowed from the Lord here had become Neris's temporary office. Neris nodded sharply with keen eyes.
"The McKinnon family is not a place that conducts business in secret. Perhaps the steward is the only one. Considering the cost of raising a spy, even for a significant family, it's usually one or two at most. I heard that the maid who entered the McKinnon family has been there for over 5 years, and she has put in enough effort here to use her skills worthily. Not only the seven used in the attack."
Everyone agreed with that analysis. The head of the guard opened his eyes wide and instructed Dora.
"No doubt the target of the enemy is the Advisor. Don't leave the Advisor's side."
"Yes."
There was no reason for Dora to hear such words from the head of the guard. However, being faithful, she responded honestly. Talfryn clicked his tongue.
"You are directly under the Advisor, so you just need to follow the Advisor's orders."
"Protecting the lady is originally my duty, so I meant that I wouldn't leave anyway."
The head of the guard, who was pointed out for ignoring the command structure, blushed slightly in embarrassment. Neris spoke with a solemn face.
"Who dares to come in here and rampage as an outsider. Maindlandt's knights were injured, and the people's property was burned. I will not forget and will definitely repay."
All three Maindlandt individuals agreed seriously.
Neris, of course, intended to bear this debt. Above all, just by touching Diane's hand, she felt she owed more than double.
'I need to think of ways to protect.'
If she couldn't cut off the McKinnon family, she had to protect them. At least to ensure that they never face such threats just because they were associated with Neris.
So, she made a plan.
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