章節 191: Waltz of Wind and Moon
Chuntao is merely a maid; if it weren't for her master's instructions, how could she dare to be so bold, coming to this rose pavilion to monitor her every move? This Chuntao must be her personal maid, Empress Xianyue mused, her thoughts drifting to Li Hanyue from years ago. To save herself, Li had her handmaid take the blame, and Qiuxin, driven by loyalty, accepted the fatal sentence to protect her family. Although today's situation wasn't nearly as grave, Xianyue knew that, with a hardened heart, disposing of Chuntao would be as easy as crushing an ant.
Masters err, servants bear the burden; this arrangement, while commonplace, stirred an unexpected sense of dissatisfaction within her. Words she had intended to say now lingered unspoken, and a slight, chilling smile curled her lips—only she knew how frigid that smile truly was.
Her heart ached slightly, and her thoughts turned to Bai Zhanfeng, a man as straightforward as an arrow. To maintain mutual respect with him was no easy feat; if only Chen Ruoxi could show the same candid warmth as Nian Xiaoyu once had, perhaps their relationship wouldn't be so strained.
"Rise," she said simply, turning back to her room without further explanation. She wished not to escalate matters, knowing that it was Chen Ruoxi who would accompany Bai Zhanfeng for a lifetime; she had no desire to be the cause of a rift between them.
Chen Ruoxi glanced at the kneeling Chuntao with a hint of surprise at Xianyue's magnanimity, then said curtly, "Get up."
Watching Xianyue's retreating figure, Chuntao, too, felt a sense of confusion. As Chen Ruoxi followed, she merely stood guard at the door, not daring to intrude.
Xianyue approached the table, poured a cup of water for Chen Ruoxi, and took another for herself, drinking deeply to quench her thirst before eating several pieces of pastry. Opposite her, Chen Ruoxi observed her actions with a mixture of distaste and bewilderment; she had never before encountered a woman who drank tea with such audible gulps.
Chen Ruoxi waited anxiously for Xianyue to speak, knowing that a woman of her intelligence wouldn't be deceived so easily. Although Chuntao's actions may have been self-directed, as her mistress, she bore the responsibility for any misconduct. After a long silence, Xianyue continued smiling, her gaze fixed on the door.
Finally, breaking the quiet, Chen Ruoxi ventured, "May I call you 'Miss Xianyue'?"
Xianyue smiled faintly, brushing crumbs from her hand. "Whatever you find easiest," she replied, for titles mattered little to her; it was the person's nature that held importance.
"Chuntao has served me since childhood. If she has offended you, I ask for your understanding," Chen Ruoxi said.
A frown flickered across Xianyue's face. She had no intention of pursuing the matter further, so there was no need to bring it up again. Was it her lingering discontent that made Chen Ruoxi's presence across from her feel increasingly irksome?
"Madam Bai is fortunate to have such a devoted maid," Xianyue said with a faint, knowing smile, believing that both women were perceptive enough to understand what was left unsaid.
Chen Ruoxi's smile faltered, and the tension in her heart eased slightly. Her primary fear was that Xianyue would inform Bai Zhanfeng of the incident, for she understood too well how much he valued the woman seated across from her. The mere thought of that possibility sent chills down her spine, prompting her swift arrival.
"Miss Xianyue, you won't tell him about this, will you?"
Chen Ruoxi's eyes were fixed upon her, anxious and hopeful, desperate for Xianyue's assurance. Only then could she truly be at peace.
Once, Chen Ruoxi had thought herself fortunate, until Xianyue entered her life. Only then did she realize what it meant to be truly blessed by the heavens—born noble, leading a life of legend, surrounded by men who held her as their ideal. These were men whom most women could only dream of, yet they adored her, with the King of Lan even willing to risk his life for her. How could someone like Xianyue ever comprehend the torment of loving someone unattainable? How deeply she felt for him was something Xianyue would never understand.
Chen Ruoxi's grandfather had once served alongside Bai Zhanfeng's father, and their families had long been close. As a child, her grandfather often took her to the Bai residence, where she encountered the aloof young man, always dressed in black, a frown perpetually shadowing his face, never mingling with others his age. Bai Zhanfeng's father had often jested that she should become his bride, a sentiment her grandfather would echo in good humor.
Back then, she was too young to understand love, yet the image of that stern, silent boy—Bai Zhanfeng—remained etched in her heart. Later, he left for nearly a decade, disappearing from Chu, only for tales of his feats to multiply across the land.
Hailed as a once-in-a-century martial prodigy and hero, her family said that no one in all of Chu was more suited to her than that young man of the Bai family.
With time, rumors linked him to Nian Xiaoyu, the daughter of a former martial alliance leader. Initially, this frightened her, fearing he might choose Nian Xiaoyu, but three years passed, and he continued to keep her at a distance. While others claimed he was cold and unfeeling, she viewed him as steadfast and true, a man who would never toy with another's heart. If such a man were to love her, she was certain he would be loyal for life.
Then, as she reveled in this thought, Chuntao informed her that he was enamored with Princess Xihe of Feng—a vibrant and legendary woman. For her sake, he defied his grandfather's wishes in the imperial halls and even clashed with the King of Chu. And as if this weren't enough, the secret key to the treasury, yet to be entrusted to her, lingered as a symbol of his devotion. Just when she thought all hope was lost, Bai's grandfather arrived with a marriage proposal, affirming that she was his chosen bride.
On their wedding day, as he lifted her veil, she gazed up at his striking features and felt her heart swell with no trace of regret. But his words were like ice poured over her fervent hopes: "I can offer you the honor of being the mistress of the Bai family. Whatever you wish for, I will try to provide. I will even keep you as my only wife in this life. But I already have someone in my heart, and I will love only her."
On their wedding night, she spent the long hours alone in the bridal chamber. Heartache filled her, yet she couldn't let go. Each time she sought him out, she was only met by his cold, dagger-like gaze.
She knew well that he didn't love her. If she had once doubted, these days had shown her clearly. She resented it—not only because he didn't love her, but because the woman he did love wasn't the legend she was made out to be. She couldn't see what was so captivating about her. If only he would gaze upon her, Chen Ruoxi, with half the tenderness he reserved for Feng Xianyue. Even if it meant her life would end at that moment, she'd leave this world with a smile.
If his love was so deep, why did he agree to marry her? And if he did marry her, why was he still so devoted to another? Even in his drunken embrace, he called that other woman's name. The more she thought about it, the more bitterness consumed her. She never knew jealousy could burn so fiercely, nearly driving her to madness.
Xianyue looked at Chen Ruoxi, feeling that the address "Gongzi" was too distant for a couple who were husband and wife. Their feelings for each other were even worse than she had imagined.
Xianyue smiled, finally understanding why Bai's grandfather had chosen Chen Ruoxi. She could see a deep love in her eyes, a love no less intense than Nian Xiaoyu's. Such love could lead these women to sacrifice anything, including themselves, but never to harm Bai Zhanfeng. However, unlike Nian Xiaoyu's passionate, daring love, Chen Ruoxi's identity and upbringing had destined her to a more reserved form of affection. There are countless ways to love someone, but not everyone can release their beloved like Nian Xiaoyu did. Besides, Chen Ruoxi had no way out. Xianyue never considered herself empathetic, yet this time she knew too well the anguish of unrequited love—the agony of knowing happiness lies just out of reach.
"Did you come to discuss this matter today?"
Xianyue didn't answer directly. She only wished for Bai Zhanfeng's well-being. She and Chen Ruoxi never shared deep emotions, and their political marriage was not something he could easily end. She had no interest in stirring up trouble.
Understanding was one thing, but facing someone who looked at her with dissatisfaction and even disdain made her mood sour. The words she had intended to say vanished; she knew that even if she did speak, they would go unheeded. Chen Ruoxi might even see it as false sympathy. Matters between husband and wife should be resolved between themselves; as an outsider, no words of hers would truly help. Whatever she might say, Chen Ruoxi would dismiss, and Bai Zhanfeng, straightforward as he was, would only suffer under these emotional conflicts. What advice could she offer him? To be kinder to Chen Ruoxi? To strive for a harmonious life together? Such words would only add to his troubles.
"Gongzi has been going to the barracks every day, returning late each night. Are there many pressing matters?"
Chen Ruoxi's question was subtle, but Xianyue caught its undertone: this was, unmistakably, her way of dismissing her.
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