章節 9: Chapter 9
The nocturnal orchestra of insects harmonized with the perpetual night. On the outskirts, the sounds of crickets joined the singing of majestic fir trees, transmitting a chorus of peace and tranquility with each note, soon accompanied by the symphonies of some night birds daring to serenade, trying to calm the beating hearts of those whose souls were heavy.
Cinder stared at the door in front of her for a few long minutes. This time, her heart wasn't beating hard, as it always did when she looked at the brunette's face. This time, her heart lay shattered, devastated by the thought of confronting the pain of the person who mattered most to her. She silently raised her fist to knock on the door but stopped, her hand trembling. Coward! she thought to herself. A gasp escaped her lips, and with all her willpower, she knocked on the wood three times.
A few seconds passed until a soft voice was heard, "Yes?"
Cinder froze at the sound of Tessa's voice, her back stiffening. Almost unconsciously, she lowered her head, allowing some of her unruly hair to fall over her eyes. "It's me, Cinder."
The door opened with agonizing slowness, leaving behind the passageway illuminated by the sad and broken moon. She crossed the threshold, looking at her feet, which felt as heavy as concrete. She pressed the door behind her to close it gently.
She had never entered Tessa's room, this was a space she always respected. Of course, Cinder had always been like a companion dog at Tessa's side, but she had never crossed this threshold, not even out of curiosity. This was the brunette's personal space, and she didn't dare usurp it with her dark and chaotic presence.
"Hello," she said in a tone that was too calm to be genuinely calm.
"Hello," Tessa replied, her whisper so soft that Cinder had to look up from her feet.
Tessa sat on the edge of the bed, holding a framed photo in her hands. She traced her fingertips over the surface of the photo, studying the image melancholically, as if trying to understand something, as if the deepest secrets were written there for her.
Tessa had such a sad expression, her red eyes were proof that she had been crying again. Cinder's heart crushed under a wave of affliction, all she wanted was for Tessa to be okay. She wanted her to be happy, to feel better. She crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, her weight sinking into the mattress. The brunette was looking at a photo of herself with another woman, whom Cinder recognized as Elizabeth, Tessa's deceased wife. Elizabeth had rebellious platinum blonde hair, a wide smile, and big, beautiful eyes, and they both sat on the steps in front of the cabin.
After a few long minutes, Cinder blurted out, "You look happy." One corner of her mouth quirked up into an honest smile. "Both of you, you look happy." Tessa blinked, and then a small smile appeared on her face.
"Yes. We were," she said weakly but still displaying that sweet smile that Cinder loved so much.
"I'm really glad that happened."
The brunette nodded gratefully, her eyes scanning the photo again. She brushed her hand over it one last time and silently put it away in the drawer of her nightstand. "Why do I feel like I'm experiencing déjà vu?"
Cinder looked at her, curious and thoughtful. After a moment, she replied softly, "It's not the same as now." She hesitated before continuing. "She was the love of your life."
Tessa looked away for a moment and then nodded with a sad smile. "Yes," she paused, looking up at Cinder. "She was."
Cinder carefully observed every detail of the brunette's face, always so happy but now so sad, so afflicted. Of all the harm she had done in her life, wronging Tessa was one of the most destructive pains she felt. For the past few months, Cinder had experienced the pain of regret, wishing with all her being that she had never lived the life she had, never made those decisions. But if there was one thing she was truly sure of, it was that she did not regret having met Tessa. Maybe even at this point, she could openly admit that the brunette was her world, her reason for existing, the light in her darkness, her breath... she was her love, her only love.
"Are you okay?" she asked, trying to meet Tessa's eyes again.
The brunette shook her head, refusing.
"Do you want me to bring you something?"
"No."
"I could prepare something for you," she insisted. "I'm not very good at cooking, but I can make you tea, one of those that you prepare every time I can't sleep. Maybe I could,"
"Why do you want to die, Cinder?" Tessa questioned, cutting off Cinder's monologue. Her tone wasn't harsh, but she sounded upset, as if she were both angry and sad. "You're taking the first opportunity you have to throw yourself into death."
The brunette looked affected, as if Cinder had slapped her in the face. She recovered after a second. "No, it's not that, Tessa."
"If it's not that, why don't you stay here?" Tessa's eyes burned with new tears. "I know you have a very dark past, Cinder. I know it affects you a lot, but you can overcome it. You don't have to die, you don't have to go get killed. You can redeem yourself without dying." The brunette shook her head against the first sob that escaped her throat. "Stay, please, stay." She lowered her head, overwhelmed by impending sobs, hiding her face in her hands.
Cinder took Tessa's wrists, gently pulling them down from her face so she would look at her. She traced her thumb along Tessa's tendons with a calm and loving touch, looking at her with affection and tenderness, in a way she had never looked at anyone before.
"Hey," she said in a calm whisper. "I don't want to die, Tessa. I'm afraid of dying. For a while, I thought about it, I wanted to. But not now." She let out a ragged sigh. "I'm afraid of death, of what will come after that." The black-haired girl was aware of what this meant. "I don't want to die," she repeated louder. "The world seems different now, here with you. I would like to live by your side... but if there is one good thing I can do in my life, it is this, Tessa. I must help. If there is even a slight chance of defeating Salem, I must help, because this world is worth it, you are worth it."
Tessa's tears began to run down her face. "She's going to kill you," her voice sounded broken.
Cinder cupped Tessa's cheek and said gently, "It would be very satisfying to die doing the right thing, don't you think?"
An unexpected snort of laughter escaped Tessa's mouth. She was still smiling through her tears as she spoke, her voice a little calmer. "You're using my own words against me."
Smiling, Cinder continued to look at her for a small period that could have been eternal, a small eternity that she savored. She could live off that, just watching Tessa would be enough to make her happy. How lucky Cinder had been! She didn't deserve her, but still, there they were, looking at each other as if nothing else existed around them.
The brunette inhaled shakily. "I wish I could be selfish now." She closed her eyes, enjoying the soft touch of Cinder's hand on her cheek. "However, I am so proud of you. You may not believe it, Cinder, but you are a good person."
Cinder did not respond, instead, she caressed Tessa's cheek and the edges of her eyebrows with a tender touch. She allowed herself to enjoy the closeness, resting her head against that touch. "I didn't deserve anything... and you gave me everything," she breathed. "Thank you, Tessa. Thank you for everything." Her voice softened as she spoke, and a melancholic expression crossed her face.
Instead of answering, Tessa covered Cinder's hand with her own and turned her head to press her lips to the center of Cinder's palm with a tender kiss. Cinder couldn't help but look. Tessa had closed her eyes and was kissing her hand with such a sweet expression that Cinder was forced to release the air from her lungs to keep from fainting.
With a small movement, Cinder leaned forward. She needed to do this. If there was no future for her, at least she had this present. So she leaned in and kissed Tessa. It was simple, a little awkward, a mere meeting of lips, but it was a kiss. Cinder continued to cup Tessa's cheek even as she pulled away enough to lean their foreheads together.
"I should apologize to you for that, but... I really needed to."
The young brunette didn't respond with words, instead, she leaned in for another kiss, this time with more pressure. She kissed Cinder back softly, her lips silky smooth and tasting like life, a life Cinder wanted. Tessa opened her mouth to deepen the kiss carefully. A furrow appeared between Cinder's eyebrows, she didn't quite understand why Tessa was reciprocating her kiss. Even with the feeling of a thousand hummingbirds fluttering in her stomach, she pulled away.
A little.
Tessa's expression remained hopeful, she was searching for something in Cinder's eyes. "I know I need to go now," she said with a voice thick with emotions, still looking at her intently.
"I don't want you to go." Cinder wanted to touch Tessa again, she wanted to hold her close forever. "Not yet."
"Cinder..."
"Stay here with me for a little longer."
[T/N: If you like this chapter then leave a comment, write a review, and drop some stones. If you want to read a few advanced chapters then check out the Patreon or the Ko-fi.]
[Also check out my other books, either go to my profile or search up 'Invisible-a Harry Potter FanFic', 'Searching in the Abyss', or 'Omnitrix of Justice'.]
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