/ TV / The Lost Returned
摘要
A mess of a story, just something I'm writing to see what I can do as I reshape my other fanfics.
"Who am I, to ask for more than I deserve, good wine, a mouth to warm my co*k, and the free skies.. what do you say, brothers?"
I own nothing.
Tags = #2loveinterest #tragedy #action #non-powerseekingMc #strongfromstart
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5評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
I have 1 question, will it be tradegy for mc? if so I'll probably not continue, I hate tradegy for mc. if it's tragedy for others I'm fine but not MC.
Its a fun story, the writing is okay, there are some Words that are misspelled and the structure of the dialogue is a bit chaotic sometimes. The main problem I have with the story is that the structure of it is very chaotic, flashbacks randomly, missing information which the author does give out eventually but at a later chapter in order to further the story however it’s done quite poorly so in my opinion it just seems disorderly and chaotic. Now the premis behind the flashbacks and other the withholding information thing seems to be to add some mystery to the novel, and it very well might have, had it been done well. It’s stil a fun story tho better than most story’s on webnovel but worse than others.
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I'm.... afraid to read, only reading couple of chapter so far. but can you spoil me about the [tragedy] tag? i don't to be even more depressed when I'm reading this when I'm already running away from reality in fiction