/ Fantasy / The Fallen and the realm of Beasts
摘要
"Child you fully know that path will lead to nothing but pain" An old oak tree spoke while it's branches swayed with the breeze filled with divine Qi
"Master, I may not return and this disciple of yours is not certain if I am to return alive, This is my Good-bye and thank you, May our paths cross again" with that she turned and a beautiful pair of almost translucent white wings appeared and flew away.
_____________
In the main Hall of the immortal palace
" You have betrayed us and for what a couple of pet contracted beasts? You should feel honored that those filthy things where of some use to us!!" Seated in the highest chair was one of the 13 Celestial Emperors... She the most despicable of all.
As a prisoner, she was restrained and could only curse them for their cruelty
" You monsters, you don't deserve to be the deities"
"Enough, your sentence has been dictated farewell Kazumi of the seven seas"
And thus she was cursed and thrown into the mortal.
Ambushed and nearly killed, a dimension realm doorway was opened and she fell through, and what she saw.....
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"Female are you okay?" A small white fox approached the girl that was laying on the floor covered in blood.
*Please note the cover image does not belong to me*
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5評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
Good xianxia work. Read up to 11 chapters before giving this review. The writing quality is very good, the FL character fits her role very well and the xianxia world background is on point. I like the progress of the story line too, it isn't breaking unnecessarily. Great work. Keep it up.
Excellent story with unique elements! Very impressed so far. Would like to see more descriptive words used to describe how everyone looks, it’s hard to image what everyone looks like. Other than that, no complaints!
There are quite a few grammar errors in your story. Also it makes no sence for the boss of the heavenly palace to only cast that girl down to the mortal relm and restrict her to gold core stage. That is far to merciful for what she did. She obviously killed a bunch of important people and that slap on the rist is the punishment.simply impossible..Also your storry does not flow smoothly enough you wrote "start of flashback" then "end of flashback" to tell readers you were having a flashback obvious red flag right there.Plus i dont feel as though she even needed a flashback there it felt so out of place. In addition because she got kicked out of the celestial relm isent she supose to be a super bad ass that does not care about the celestial relm their laws and should give no fucks about loosing all of her cultivation. I really feal like punishment is just to light. Im also a writer check out my book and leave a review like i did for you harsh criticism accepted its called unusual world. https://***.webnovel.com/book/15094015305771305/Unusual-world
I've read all the chapters in about an hour so I can't really comment on the update stability, but I'm really loving this story!!! Please update more!! ❤️❤️
The plot of the novel is interesting, but the beginning is somewhat chaotic. The story is really inspiring and it has potential! It is written in a clear and simple language, the text is mostly smooth, without semantic roughness. An artfully twisted plot, with each new chapter he begins to shine brighter and brighter! However, the novel contains scenes - violence, those who do not like it should know it. Therefore, I didn’t read further, although the novel was written in a fascinating way, I dislike the scenes of violence and when they are described in an overly detailed way. This is not what I wanted to read. Everyone has their own choice of genres.
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