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The Elemental's System 原創

The Elemental's System

Fantasy 28 章節 220.9K 流覽

4.14 (10 評分)

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摘要

Kael is supposedly lived his life normally. But before he was born, a tragedy took place on Earth. Meteorites abruptly descend from the sky, devastating the majority of the world. As if this were not enough, the animals begin to evolve uncontrollably into monsters.

On the verge of despair, humanity suddenly found a light of hope. People with extraordinary powers emerges, and expel the monsters out of their lands.

Kael Lys, born as a person with innate ability to control several elements. However, those powers were so trashed that his fire could only ignite a cigarette, water to flush his face, and electric that could charge his phone battery.

Suddenly, on the same day he admitted as the Bintang Academy student, he received a mysterious message ringing inside his ears.

[Assimilation is complete. The host will now begin to retain his memories.]

General Audiences

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禮品 -- 收到的禮物

    每周推薦票狀態

    Rank -- 推薦票 榜單
    Stone -- 推薦票

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    10評論

    4.14

    • 寫作品質
    • 更新的穩定性
    • 故事發展
    • 人物形象設計
    • 世界背景

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    寫檢討
    PoeticSonic

    i don't wanna be too harsh because the author is clearly new to writing and English isn't his first language so i can relate lol...the story from a plot point of view has a lot of potential but the writing needs at least, the most basic amount of editing as their are a lot of mistakes many of which don't even have to do with grammar with things like names having a different spelling in two different paragraphs right after each other and that happened often. now for the stability, it's still kinda early but for now, it seems that the author is somewhat consistent. story development, it's your average cheat story but with all the cringe from all the worst cliches in eastern fantasy novels. i know it sounds harsh saying that to a new writer but putting like 90% of all the cliches ON PURPOSE as if they were a good thing in just the first few chapters, that's on you buddy, it has nothing to do with your skills. the MC is a dumbass and people around him make even less sense. he says things and does things for no reason at all and gets roasted for doing these things for no gain at all. the people around him are dumbasses who just hate on the MC just to hate even without knowing anything about him. the MC doesn't show his powers because "they are gonna make fun of me anyways" dude this is his entrance exam, he can later increase his powers anyway so rather than thinking he has 1 shitty element with 1/10 of the power of a normal person with the same power, they will find out that he has like 5 elements which would make him much more versatile or a foundation to argue that he isn't useless but no. let's hide my shitty powers form the school that's gonna teach me how to use them. world background, many things aren't explained or glossed over things aren't described much, and why things the way they are. with that all being said, it's not too bad for a new writer and as for the cliches, it's clear that you like them so it's up to your taste and the readers who like them. continue writing because that's the only way a writer can improve and clearly some people like your story so it's a chance to improve. I advise that you look back at the chapter you wrote as you go forward so you can improve on your past self. props to you, you took the first step which I still haven't taken.

    3yr
    查看1條回復
    Reda_Aeuio

    🤔🤔🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙊🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙊🙉🙉🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉

    3yr
    查看0條回復
    GenXPrays

    When reading: The Elemental's System by Billy_Castellanos, from Indonesia. An author with a vast production of: 12 books in total, and whose reviews add up to: 701 collections. It gives us the feeling of having a story in the maturity of the writer or in the experience in the magic of WebNovel. We started to read a couple of chapters and it really doesn't take us from the earth to sidereal spaces and developed systems. The earth receives the massive impact of meteorites, and suddenly, monsters begin to emerge, which are deformations of common animals. There is a lot of imagination. Invite to Read.

    3yr
    查看15條回復
    Lucien121

    just hopping itll update more so hhqhaababwbwbwbwb jajawnwnwne jajwnwnenr ejejenenenendjdkekwneneje sidjenenebeje diekenene suenene .diene ejeueb

    3yr
    查看7條回復
    Eroop
    LV 1 Badge

    Leaving a review so this can get rated. The story seems interesting so far but the pacing seems a little slow but still good. Can't wait for future chapters.

    3yr
    查看2條回復
    REDVI
    LV 4 Badge

    Quite boring to be honest not really interesting and the mc seems to be to stupid for my liking.

    3yr
    查看0條回復
    greylord99

    Good book, fun to read, and nice slow development so can't wait for more. that was all I wanted to say but have to get my words to the minimum.

    3yr
    查看1條回復
    Molly_Sun

    $115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels! + Get Hardcover Publish Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing contest! This contest is mainly looking for four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi, but if you haven’t worked on these genres, that’s TOTALLY FINE! You can refer to the given examples and tips to develop a new story. As all new stories can get cash rewards, this might be your chance to begin your writing career and start to make a living by writing! Not to mention that you can take your chance to win the big cash and get your books published in hardcover! For more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/2ObQnRy or contact Email :Rebecca_661@outlook.com

    3yr
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    Susan001

    Hey! Good day to you! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com  (delete *)We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). Looking forward to your email.

    3yr
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    Diego_Nascimento

    Eu acho uma batalha com o sistema avisando os danos causado pelo oponente assim fica melhor na minha opinião, que o sistema registrasse cada técnica mágica Do usuário tipo: (flecha de fogo), (chicote de fogo ) Para saber melhor o custo da mana usada em cada técnica

    3yr
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